Posts Tagged ‘Tiger Woods’
Rachel Uchitel Cancels Press Conference, In Other News, I Am Nostradamus
Posted by MrAlmostWrong as Tiger Woods at 4:03 AM UTC on Dec, 04 2009
I just got done saying…
If I were her I still would’ve kept quiet to get a sweeter deal from Tiger, but these women have no business sense. If you are going to ruin marriages and destroy legacies you have to start with a well laid out plan.
Now reports are coming out that she cancelled her press conference today because Tiger’s people paid her $1 million to shut up. She had a grand scheme all this time and played it out to perfection!
We know how this will end though right? She will get a show/movie/book deal from this and get paid even more by telling the Tiger Affair Tale. Sneaky, sneaky.
Sometimes I wish I had a vagina so I could come up with schemes like this. This isn’t the reason why I wear pantyhose, I was just thinking out loud. My legs are sensitive and need protection, don’t judge me.
In unrelated news, I guarantee the next story won’t include Tiger Woods’ and the use of his putter.
Rachel Uchitel Mounted a Tiger
Posted by MrAlmostWrong as Tiger Woods at 12:22 AM UTC on Dec, 04 2009
You understood the game plan. Woman says she didn't bang the billion dollar man so he would slide her some green under the table. However, there was a wrench thrown in the plans when another money-grubbing cow decided to make it publicly known that she was sleeping with Tiger. Well, cow #1 just couldn't let this opportunity slip through her fingers so she admits that she actually did sleep with the billion dollar athlete.
Sources say less than an hour before Tiger's accident, Rachel and Tiger were texting each other. Elin confronted Tiger and asked whom he was texting. She grabbed the phone and we're told she called Rachel to confront her. According to sources, Tiger and Elin began arguing and the phone broke in the process.
If I were her I still would've kept quiet to get a sweeter deal from Tiger, but these women have no business sense. If you are going to ruin marriages and destroy legacies you have to start with a well laid out plan.
Let the one tramp get all the hatred from the world, while you chill behind the scenes laughing in caviar baths and champagne showers. Of course, that is what cows #3-#10 are probably doing so what do I know.
Tiger, was this a ploy to break up with your wife before Christmas so you didn't have to buy her any presents?
Okay, never mind, because if that was the reason then you are genius my man.
Tiger’s Wife Is Getting Paid
Posted by MrAlmostWrong as Tiger Woods at 7:10 AM UTC on Dec, 03 2009
When you are trying to re-negotiate a prenup with your billion dollar husband there is only one way to go about it.
This happened faster than I thought. According to the Sun Times, Tiger's wife, Elin, is being paid a hefty 7 figures to stick with her man. Now that is a sign of a healthy relationship. You just pay the woman to stay married to you. I mean, all Kobe did was buy her a ring so as you can see Tiger has upped the ante. Next professional athlete to get caught cheating is in trouble as he will probably have to offer the naming rights of a stadium to his spouse.
They are also doing some intense marriage counseling because, well because their marriage is screwed up. Can you imagine how that session will go?
Elin: I love my husband...s money doc, but I just don't know if I can take the cheating and lying...to myself that I really do love him.
Doc: Tiger, anything to say?
Tiger: Hold on, let me finish sending this text.
Again, we have to take it back to Tiger to see how he feels about giving up a cool 7 figures to his wife and having her redo their prenup.
We couldn't have said it better ourselves.
Tiger Woods Breaks Cheating Law #39
Posted by MrAlmostWrong as Tiger Woods at 1:09 AM UTC on Dec, 03 2009
photo via Real Man Magazine
Tiger. Tiger. TIGER! What in the hell were you thinking my man. I know people out there are thinking to themselves man if I was married to a Swedish model, had a gajillion dollars and a kid I would never cheat on my wife. But to some men, especially ones in power, the allure is to great. It happens. However...there are laws that you must follow to maintain order in the world and one of them is if you are going to leave a voicemail, change your voice and don't say your name.
What am I talking about? TMZ has an audio clip of Tiger leaving a voicemail to Jamiee Grubbs where he says his name and how she needs to erase her name from the voicemail. So what does Jamiee do with the voicemail? Exactly what you would expect a woman of her caliber to do, she took it to work to show it off.
This girl is getting paid cash money and probably got a couple of nice gifts from Tiger. In a time where it is hard to be hated than the most hated athletes, it seems these guys are trying to one up each other. Who is hated less than Tiger now?
- Roger Clemens
- Alex Rodriguez
- Kobe Bryant
- Brett Favre
- Steve McNair
- Hitler
You have to be the most dominant player in golf history to accomplish something like that. Well done, Tiger, well done. How do you feel about earning this achievement Mr. Woods?
Exactly what we thought.
Tiger Woods, King of the Junglebooty
Posted by MrAlmostWrong as Tiger Woods at 4:21 AM UTC on Dec, 02 2009
While one tramp, Rachel Uchitel, denies having an affair with Tiger Woods, another steps out of the woodwork to collect her reality show paycheck. The Daily News reports that a waitress, Jamiee Grubbs, is claiming she had a 31-month affair and she has over 300 “racy” text messages to validate it. To top it off, she was a contestant on VH1′s award winning (okay I lied there) reality series, “Tool Academy.”
So let me get this straight, Tiger gets beat by his wife in an “accident”, cuts and bruises all over, one girl denies the affair so he should be off the hook, but then another steps up to take her place. Let’s not forget this guy is worth a trillion dollars and probably didn’t sign a prenuptial agreement so he is going to be worth half a trillion now.
Could you imagine if this cuts off his endorsements?
You see when you are the King of the Junglebooty you have to learn to cover your tracks. People should never cross the King, but when you marry a Lioness you have to expect bad things to happen. But then again you deserve bad things to happen when you cheat on a Swedish model.
I’m not saying Tiger cheated on his wife with these young pups, but I’m just saying he is Tiger Woods and you can’t keep a wild tiger caged.
Tiger Woods In An Accident
Posted by Gina as Tid Bits & News, Tiger Woods at 11:20 AM UTC on Nov, 28 2009
Tiger Woods got into a car accident on Friday just outside his home in Florida. Apparently, he was not driving fast enough and the airbags of the car did not employ. He is doing fine, suffering only from minor lacerations on his face. That shouldn’t affect his golf skills!
Subscribe
Latest Entries
- First Look at Priscilla Chan’s Ruby Ring
- Miley Cyrus Flashes Side Boob in LA
- Bar Refaeli Tops Maxim’s Hot 100
- Top 5 Most Downloaded Hollywood Hunks
- Miley Cyrus’ Risky Outfit at the Billboard Awards 2012
- 5 Celeb Swimsuits Worth Buying
- Transgender Jenna Talackova Competes in Miss Universe Canada
- Beautiful Asian Women Celebrities to Start the Weekend Right
- Designer Cufflinks: A Hollywood Must Have
- Jennifer Lopez Tops Forbes 2012 Celebrity 100 List
Blog Resources
