Britney Spears Press Conference- What Happened?

Posted by Allison as Career Moves, Conscience & Morality Tales, Mischief & Mayhem, Rumors & Whispers, Scientology, Tom Cruise- Only a Matter of Time Before He Kills Me, Top Ten Lists at 9:01 AM PDT

05/05/2006

Britney Spears Kevin Federline.jpg So we were all waiting on sharp pins & needles for the mysterious Britney Spears press conference yesterday. But it looks like we’ve all been bamboozeled, the pop star diva never showed and we are now left to guess why.

Top Ten Reasons Why Britney Spears Did Not Show Up For Thursday’s Press Conference:

#10: Britney was in a battle with DCFS to get baby Sean back
#9: Britney lost the DCFS battle & jumped over a Louisiana bridge
#8: Britney went back to her home planet Krypton to get away from it all
#7: Britney was kidnapped by Tom Cruise & is currently in isolation listening to Scientology brainwashing tapes
#6: Britney came to her senses, filed for divorce from Kevin Federline, hired a jet, flew to Belize, married a native & lived happily ever after
#5: Britney Spears is really John Stewart and she / he had a show to do last night
#4: Britney was eaten by K-Fed who belched afterward saying it was the best whale he ever had
#3: Britney moonlights as a railroad engineer & had to pull an extra shift
#2: Britney said screw Mary Kate, Paris Hilton & Lindsay Lohan, she wants a piece of that Stavros Niarchos ass
#1: Osama Bin Laden got the better of her & carried her off for booty

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4 Responses to: Britney Spears Press Conference- What Happened?

The Celebrific Lowdown - Celebrific

May 9th, 2006 at 10:12 am

[...] PopSugar: Britney Spears is bumping it [...]
Britney Spears Comes Out of Pregnant Closet on David Letterman - Celebrific

May 10th, 2006 at 10:38 am

[...] Britney Spears showed up last night at a taping of the Late Show with David Letterman. Despite the fact that you normally, celebrity or no, have to book an appearance on Letterman weeks in advance, the pregnant star was able to tell all that she’s pregnant again. Didn’t everyone already know that by now, Brit? [...]
Britney Spears Almost Drops Baby Sean Preston - Celebrific

May 19th, 2006 at 7:56 am

[...] Maybe she wants DCFS to take Sean Preston away so she can live her red neck life with K-Fed in peace. Who knows with girl. Spears definitely shouldn’t look for a ‘Mother of the Year’ award. I will now bury my face in my hands and keep repeating, “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.” [...]
The Celebrific Lowdown - Celebrific

August 31st, 2006 at 5:19 pm

[...] Celebitchy: K-Fed on Entourage [...]
Selena Rocha

February 21st, 2007 at 3:18 pm

brittany shaved her head off i was shocked when people told me that she is so crazy and so gross because she broke up with kevin even though he is so hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!kiss me KEVIN!!!!!!!