I think Alexis and I went out to brunch in ’99. I don’t remember what she ate because she was so short she could barely reach over the table. I definitely don’t remember her being this pale. No, I have no idea if she is starring in the next Twilight, but I figured she must be because she put some transparency lotion on to make her disappear. Look at her feet!
I know some people have ugly toes and wish to cover them up all the time, but I have never seen anyone take the strategy of trying to make your feet disappear. It is almost too brilliant to be realistic, but that is the thing about Alexis, she was always smarter than me. That is why we stood no chance.
I am not scared of intelligent women, I just refuse to date anyone that can beat me in Wheel of Fortune. Screw you Pat Sajak and tell that meanie Vanna White to stop calling me. You never give me enough vowels.
Oh, the lady next to Alexis is Katrina Bowden and yes she is hotter. So what. Eat a llama.