Can Tyra Banks ever shut up? I guess not, but at least she's channeled that into a novel, to supplement her irritating talk show host role. Hey, it's great to be positive, outgoing and persistent, but you just can't do everything. Or you can, and can be mediocre. But about her novel, it's called Modelland ("Model Land"), aimed at readers 8-80, and a mix of "fierceness and magic, romance and mystery, crazy and wild adventures, and yeah, some danger too."

Wow, sounds really exciting. Yawn. Good luck and see you soon in bookstore remainder bins at $1. Meanwhile, us far better fiction writers will sit and cry into our vodka cranberry cocktails about another lost opporunity, and whine online about this travesty, that Tyra Banks thinks she's a novelist now, and post about it on Facebook and tweet on Twitter.

Seriously, Random House is one of the top publishers, with tons of great writers. Why do this? Well here's a hint: the book is from "Bankable Books." What's even sadder is that this is part of a three-book deal. Excuse me while I burn my stack of in-progress novels and hire some monkeys to write my next novel, to improve my chances of a publishing deal.