Performancing Metrics


Jessica Simpson Heads for Dollywood


Jessica Simpson is getting all packed up & heading for the Tennessee hills.  Simpson will be joining Dolly Parton at the country singer’s theme park, Dollywood.  The two blondes are set to make a special appearance together at the park & even perform side by side.

Dolly reveals, “Jessica is going to come up to Dollywood, and we’re going to do something real soon.”

Parton feels that many folks overlook Jessica’s talent, “All they see is this great-looking blonde girl, but she’s got a great voice – and the heartache and pain to throw into songs.”

It looks like Dolly’s just trying to back a girl up.




Kate Moss & Pete Doherty Halloween Pictures





Supermodel & now designer Kate Moss seems to still be losing her mind as she insists on being junkie Pete Doherty’s girlfriend, and maybe soon- his wife.

Pete & Kate were spotted sporting some indignant looks & Halloween garb as they attended an unknown shindig.  The two are rumored to be getting married sometime in the very near future & are threatening the public with the prospect of offspring, a prospect that makes every warm-blooded person very, very afraid.

The Celebrific Lowdown


Celebitchy:   Come see Owen Wilson’s bare, naked ass

Bastardly:   Struggling with a Halloween costume?  Why not try on Christina?

Perez Hilton:   Share hotels with Victoria Posh Beckham

I’m Not Obsessed:   Carmen Electra sports a skull scarf & I know you’re jealous

Gossip or Truth:   Ooooo, bad taste- Steve Irwin Halloween costume

Yeeeah:   Is Evangeline Lilly a les?

Glitterati Gossip:   Who is the most believable vampire?

Hollywood Tuna:  Hilary Duff is still ugly on Halloween 




Now that the news has been affirmed that Reese & Ryan are over, now we are left asking ourselves why.  And don’t you know the rumor mill is already a-churning out some juicy ones.  The word on the street is that Ryan Phillippe cheated on wife Reese Witherspoon with several blondes while on location for Flags of Our Fathers.

I have more hope for Ryan than this, but that’s where the evidence is pointing as of right now.  Oh, Ryan, you little cheeky bastard. 

What do you think, did Ryan diss the Reese for some dumb blondes along the road?




Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie left the kids behind for a romantic weekend at the Taj Lake Palace hotel in Udaipur, India.  The two were seen Saturday taking in the sights, as we took in the sights of the infamous couple.

Pitt & Jolie are still in the region filming A Mighty Heart, a film based on the memoirs of Mariane Pearl, the widow of kidnapped & slain journalist Daniel Pearl.

From this picture it looks like the role of Brad Pitt is being played by Angelina Jolie, as Pitt is usually shown behind Jolie with arms around the vixen.  Well, variety is the spice of life.

Naked Jessica Alba Having Sex with Boyfriend?


Well, we can’t be absolutely positive about what’s going on in this picture, besides being completely annoyed that we can’t see more of Jessica Alba.  But doesn’t it look like Alba is getting her rocks off with her boyfriend?

Alba just may be having sex right before our very eyes, it certainly does not look like the sexy actress has any bikini bottoms on.  What do you think, did Alba go for in the waters of some unknown location?

Julia Roberts & Family Spotted in Morocco




39-year-old Julia Roberts was spotted Sunday on the shores of Essaouira, Morocco with her husband Danny Moder along with their 23-month-old twins Finn & Hazel (not pictured). 

Roberts is on location in Morocco filming political drama Charlie Wilson’s War.  Roberts looks fantastic & happy and I can tell you that Julia made a good choice leaving celeb husband behind & choosing the muscular grip Moder.  What do you think?  He’s way better than Lyle Lovett anyway.


Reese Witherspoon & Ryan Phillippe Separate, Will Divorce

ryan-phillippe-reese-witherspoon-separate-10-30-2006.jpgWell, it’s finally be confirmed.  One of the most adorable couples Hollywood has ever seen is calling it quits.  Reese Witherspoon & Ryan Phillippe have decided to separate after seven years of marriage & two children.  

A rep for the couple stated, “We are saddened to announce that Reese and Ryan have decided to formally separate.”

“They remain committed to their family and we ask that you please respect their privacy and the safety of their children at this time.” first reported the couple’s split.

30-year-old Witherspoon & 32-year-old Phillippe have two children together, Ava, 7 & Deacon, 3.  The couple met when a mutual friend brought Ryan to Witherspoon’s 21st birthday party.  Two years later, after the two co-starred in Cruel Intentions, Phillippe proposed to the New Orleans native; they married in June of 1999 & had Ava three months later.  So this getting pregnant before marriage thing is really catching on.  Maybe I should give it a go. 

You know, I thought (despite the rumors) that Reese & Ryan were doing so well.  It just goes to show you that the divorce bug can bite just about anyone.




Paris Hilton & Stavros Niarchos Halloween Pictures



What the Hell Happened to Sheryl Crow Pictures



OK, Sheryl, we’ve all had enough of this crazy joke.  You’ve been stringing us along for quite a while now, and it’s just simply not funny anymore.  Enough with the terrible tanning & painfully hard nipple look that goes quite well with the I’m-totally-cracked-up look you’ve got going on.  Jeez, enough already!

Sheryl Crow was spotted looking terrible out & about the other day.  What has happened to the lady?  She was a cute with the teddy bear John Mayer & even ported that bikini on tour.  I think there needs to be some sort of intervention.  Sheryl, not funny anymore!

Madonna & Family with Adopted Baby David Banda Pictures


Goodbye Ryan Phillippe & Reese Witherspoon Montage



The Celebrific Lowdown


Celebitchy:  Madonna on Oprah video

Bastardly:   Boobies or the armpit?  Boobies or the armpit?  I just cant deicde!

Perez Hilton:   Crazies Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes spotting

I’m Not Obsessed:  Jessica Simpson plays promoter

Gossip or Truth:   Borat’s UK premiere video

Yeeeah:   Ashlee & Jessica Simpson do the Brits

Glitterati Gossip:  What is Chloe wearing?

Hollywood Tuna:   Avril drunk & showing off those panties, I know you wanna check it out


Lindsay Lohan Halloween Costume or Normal Wear?




So, umm, is this a Halloween costume for the teen queen Lindsay Lohan?  Or is this another one of those crazy outfits the actress is trying to get by with.

I’ll tell you, I just can’t tell anymore.  Until Lindsay shows up in a wolf mask with blood on its mouth, then I’ll say that’s a Halloween costume- and even then I might have to stop & think for a minute.  What do you think?

Brad Pitt Seeks Trespassing Charges Against E! Networks

brad-pitt-e-network-10-29-20063.jpgIt looks like it’s more battling for the Bragelina camp.  Brad Pitt is apparently seeking trespassing charges against E! Networks after a producer & cameraman walked onto Pitt’s property without permission.

Reps for the Pittster stated, “Yes, we have filed trespassing charges against E! and are exploring our legal options against both the crew that actually trespassed and the network itself.”

The alleged trespassing took place last week at Brad’s Hollywood Hills home.  I think Pitt should just go Deliverance on that trespass ass and take ‘em down without asking questions first.

The incident is still under investigation according to a Los Angeles police spokesperson, meanwhile E! says they are living clean.  The cable network does not admit to any wrongdoing, simply stating, “E! Networks is investigating allegations that a producer and cameraman who were filming locations for a program about Brad Pitt went onto property last week that is reportedly owned by Mr. Pitt.”

“E! Networks did not instruct or authorize anyone working on its program to improperly intrude onto private property, and the individuals involved have been terminated. While neither Mr. Pitt nor his family were at the property when the incident took place, the network in no way condones or encourages such behavior and would like to offer its most sincere apologies to Mr. Pitt and his family.”

I think they forgot part of their statement, “E! Networks also did not intentionally take nude pictures of Angelina & Brad as they were showing the washing machine how to really shake it and E! Networks in no way intends to use these hot pictures to the benefit of E! Networks.”

If only that were true.  Well, we do have a Pam & Tommy video, a damn Dustin “Screech” Diamond sex tape, along with probably millions of Paris Hilton porn videos, why not a Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie video?  Do you know how much they could donate to Africa with that kind of sex appeal?





The TV show phenom Days of Our Lives just got better, and you didn’t think that could happen, did you?

Clay Aiken is set to play himself on the NBC daytime drama and will be performing a song from his new album for a private concert for Steve (Stephen Nichols) & Kayla (Mary Beth Evans) in local club Dune.  Aiken will sing “Everything I Have” from his recently released album A Thousand Different Ways.

The Days of Our Lives episode will begin taping November 14 and will air December 22, so you’ll get to have Christmas a little early this year- a Claymas if you will.


Who Wears Pucci Better Lindsay, Sienna or Nicky?



How embarrassing! Teen queen Lindsay Lohan was snapped in her Pucci dress out on the town in London with boots and not one, but two bags.

While Sienna Miller donned the same Pucci while at the same designer’s show with tights & mary janes.

Better yet, hotel heiress Nicky Hilton took to the red carpet in the popular Pucci dress while in Los Angeles in September.

My question, who wears Pucci better?


Axl Rose Spotted on South Beach Pictures




Axl Rose was spotted on the shores of South Beach Thursday.  I’m not sure why we still care about the Guns ‘N Roses ex-frontman, but here he is all the same.

Well, that must give Axl some props to still have paparazzi following his skinny, white ass.

Brooke Hogan Celebrates ‘Undiscovered’ Album Release




Brooke Hogan celebrated her Undiscovered album release with her father Hulk & none other than Dennis Rodman.

The release party took place Tuesday at the Marquee in New York City where everyone was listening to the grating silence as no one was buying her damn album. 

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