Performancing Metrics


What the Hell Happened to Patricia Arquette Pictures


barrymore_moretti_inf.jpgLongtime couple Drew Barrymore & Fabrizio Moretti were spotted getting close in Soho on Saturday.  The Strokes drummer doesn’t seem to mind the photographers getting a few smooches on film. 

The couple stopped inside a local art gallery & then walked on to enjoy an autumn afternoon stroll.  I can’t wait till these two get serious & tie the knot, though with Barrymore’s months-long marriage history maybe a few more years ought to do it.

Via:  TMZ

Mary-Kate Olsen’s Mystery Boyfriend Revealed


Mary-Kate Olsen has been sporting a new man lately and it’s high time we know who this damn guy is!

It looks like the guy is no one special, not famous I mean, just a NYC rocker-type that goes by the name Max Snow.

Mary-Kate’s rep has confirmed that the two have been dating for about a month now.  The couple have been spotted hooking it up at nightspots such as Bungalow 8 & Gramercy Park Hotel’s Rose Bar.

I dunno.  It looks like Mary-Kate is a 12-year-old trapped with her older, protective rocker brother.  I’m just not seeing it between these two.  Whatcha think?


Kate Moss & Pete Doherty Spotted Friday

kate-moss-pete-doherty-spotted-10-16-2006.jpgDespite Pete Doherty’s continued addiction to just about everything illegal, the boy managed to climb out from whatever hole he was cooped up in to join girlfriend Kate Moss for a drive.

Doherty & very-stupid-for-being-with-an-addict Moss enjoyed a drive in the English Cotswolds on Friday.  Well, I guess he looks sober enough, for now….

What do you think, should Moss be with druggieface Doherty?




Courteney Cox was spotted with her hilarious husband David Arquette at L.A.’s 6th annual Screamfest Horror Film Festival on Friday, October 13.

David is celebrating the premiere of his slasher flick The Tripper, which sounds rather like an Arquette-type movie to do.  In true-to-David form, the star showed up in a creative blood-splattered white suit, which was well-suited for the occasion.  I should be splattered with blood for that play on words, I know.




After the rekindling of the old flame, Eva Longoria spent some quality time with beau Tony Parker’s mother Pamela Firestone.  Let me just say right now, Tony must get those fine, good looks from his father; ’cause I’m not seeing a whole lotta pretty here.

Longoria & Firestone hit some Parisian boutiques Sunday and they seem to be enjoying themselves behind those big-ass bags of theirs.  Jeez, those look like a workout to carry around Paris. 

Avril Lavigne’s New Nose Pictures


It looks like Avril Lavigne is sporting a new nose.  The 22-year-old punk princess turned Ford model now has a picture-perfect nose for her new job and we don’t think she got the new shnazz from just working out. 

A New-York based plastic surgeon Dr. George Lefkovits reveals that he thinks Avril had a bit of the old rhino work done.

“Her old nose was too short and bulbous.  The new nose has better balance and proportion. The tip is more refined,” Lefkovits stated.

Either way, what do you think of Avril’s new nose?




Bill Murray Parties with Scottish Students at St. Andrews

bill-murray-st-andrews-party-10-16-2006.jpgWell, it looks like you can man out of partying, but you can’t take the partying out of the man.  Bill Murray created a little sensation in the Scottish town on St. Andrews after joining Scandinavian students at an all-night party & even staying to help with the dishes.  Kinda sounds like Lost in Translation for real? 

This weekend 56-year-young Murray joined up with 22-year-old Norwegian student Lykke Stavnef who showed off his new pal at party where many Scandinavian students were already in full-swing.

“Nobody could believe it when I arrived at the party with Bill Murray,” Stavnef stated.

“He was just like the character in ‘Lost in Translation.’”  So Bill doesn’t have a personality of his own?

Stavnef went on to say that Mr. Murray was completely content with drinking his vodka out of a coffee cup, and even offered to help with the dishes.

News quickly spread around the small city that Ghostbusters’ Bill Murray was in town, and many a people came by to say hello.

“He was joking with me about reheating some leftover pasta and how drunk everyone was,” said 22-year-old partygoer Agnes Huitfeldt.

“The party was overflowing with stunning Scandinavian blondes. He seemed to be in his element, cracking lots of jokes. It was the talk of the town the next day,” stated 22-year-old college student Tom Wright.

Hilariously, just after doing the dishes, just like that, Bill Murray was gone.  And was he truly ever there?



Madonna’s Adopted Child Leaves Malawi


It looks like Madonna’s mail-order baby has come in.  Madonna’s adopted 1-year-old boy left Malawi today on a chartered plane, an immigration official stated. 

The boy, named David Banda, was accompanied on the chartered flight by two Britons & two Americans.

The Malawian immigration official stated that the saw the one-year-old’s U.S. passport and was under the impression that they were headed to England where Madonna has a home.

According to Madonna’s rep, “Madonna and her husband filmmaker Guy Ritchie have been granted an interim adoption of baby David by the courts in Malawi. He was issued a passport and a visa was granted earlier today which allows him to travel outside of Malawi.

“This interim adoption grants David’s new parents temporary custody for l8 months during which time they will be evaluated by the courts of Malawi per the tribal customs of the country. It is expected that the family will be reunited within the next few days. No further information is available at this time.”

Baby congrats to Madonna & her family.


Nicky Hilton is a Lucky Woman Photo Shoot Pictures


Nicky Hilton was spotted Friday preparing for a photo shoot for Ocean Drive magazine.

Nicky & models did the spread at The Breakwater Hotel (a funny name for a hotel, if you ask me) on the beautiful beaches of Miami Beach.

Nicky is looking lovely in a black gown as she is surrounded by perfect-bodied models.  Didn’t I have a dream like this last night?…..


Jon Stewart Hosts ‘Night of Too Many Stars’ Pictures



Stars from Martin Short to David Cross appeared on Sunday evening’s “Night of Too Many Stars: An Overbooked Benefit for Autism Education” show.  Jon Stewart hosted the comedy-filled show dedicated to educating & raising money for autism.

Jon is pictured with Martin Short shortly after Martin’s rather gay routine that, well, kinda feel flat on its face.  But maybe that’s just Martin Short’s comedy.

It was a fantastic night anyway filled with a lot of open hearts & open wallets.


Rachel McAdams & Ryan Gosling Back Together Pictures


Well, it looks like Rachel McAdams & Ryan Gosling can’t make up their minds.  Together, not together, almost every day it’s something different.

Well, this weekend the couple seemed to be enjoying themselves Sunday in a Toronto park as they walked their dog.

The 25-year-old former Mouseketeer Gosling in is town shooting scenes for the new movie, Lars and the Real Girl.  And it looks like 30-year-old McAdams is trying to rekindle the magic between the two.

Brandon Davis is Bouncing Checks

brandon-davis-bounced-check-10-16-2006.jpgOil heir Brandon Davis seems to be having some money management problems.  The grandson of billionaire Marvin Davis bounced a $10,000 check he gave to Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis. 

Now, that’s pretty interesting about the bounced check & all, but I’m rather interested in why he gave Joe Francis a check for $10,000- that’s a whole lotta porn if you ask me.

According to Page Six who obtained a copy of the bounced check, the check to Francis was refused for “insufficient funds.”  I think I’ve heard those words before myself.

Apparently the list goes on of Davis’ money problemos.  Brandon also owes money to record producer Scott Storch (did Brandon pay him to produce Paris Hilton’s godforsaken album?) as well as The Palm casino owner George Maloof.

Right before Davis told Page Six, “F–k you,” & hung up, he stated that his check bounced because he was was in the process of switching banks.  He also said that he paid Francis back in cash, which the Girls Gone Wild creator denies.  

Davis’ spokesman stated, “There is no truth to these rumors.”

Ummm, right.  I think there’s about as much truth in that as there was in Brandon’s explanation of why his check bounced.  What do you think?





In an apparent attempt to one-up John Mayer, Sheryl Crow donned a bikini at one of their concerts this weekend.

Last week John Mayer walked on stage in a bear costume & played on as if nothing was wrong, so it looks like Crow tried to bring the concert competition to a standstill with her bikini taunting.

I wonder if Lance Armstrong is thinking twice….


The Celebrific Lowdown


Celebitchy:   New Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt & family pictures

Bastardly:   Nick Lachey red carpet pictures

Perez Hilton:  Linday Lohan served red carpet papers

I’m Not Obsessed:  It’s all about Jessica Simpson candid pictures

Mollygood:   Madonna goes home without Malawi baby

Yeeeah:   Ashlee Simpson has no pals

Glitterati Gossip:   Don Johnson dirty old man?  I’m going with probably.

Hollywood Tuna:  Listen here, dammit, if Scarlett Johansson wants to show off her breasts, who are you to prevent her?



Nicole Kidman has taken on a new role, that of a United Nations goodwill ambassador.  Kidman was named a goodwill ambassador of the UN Development Fund for Women (UNIFEM) in January and her tour of Kosovo is the first visit for that role.

“I’m here … to learn so that I can help your country at this crucial, crucial time for the future, to meet people, hear their stories and educate myself, and I suppose be a voice for you if you need it,” Kidman stated Saturday.

Kidman will be in the area for two days concentrating on women’s issues & getting a feel for the country’s heartaches.



Quote of the Day: Christina Aguilera on Husband Jordon Bratman




“It used to be, the only good relationships I ever had were with gay men. That was before I met Jordy.”

~Christina Aguilera


Cuba Gooding Jr. & Sesame Street’s Elmo Pictures




Cuba Gooding Jr. & Sesame Street’s Elmo get ready to shoot segments for an upcoming PBS special.

I think this is the best picture yet of Cuba Gooding, he just needed a muppety red monster to jazz him up a bit. 

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