The world may be reeling in from the shock of Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr‘s separation, but these divorces aren’t rare in Tinseltown. The others are just as shocking…
A heavenly body was spotted at the French West Indies last weekend, or so the guys will tell you.
The 26-year-old Australian model posed for a Victoria’s Secret photo shoot by the beach and gave onlookers an eyeful of candy. Sorry boys, the paparazzi caught her at a bad time; she donned mostly summer clothes and not too many bikinis when they snapped away.
Her boyfriend Orlando Bloom wasn’t at St. Bart’s to keep an eye on his lady. The actor was busy promoting his movie at the Sundance Film Festival.
Our 2009 model of the year wasn’t going to rest on her laurels and let others like Doutzen Kroes steal her crown. Based on these pictures though it seems that it doesn’t matter who throws their name into the hat, Miranda owns it for now.
I just took some special pills and am starting to feel a bit lightheaded. I’m not using that as an excuse for my horrible writing because we all know that I could be getting a lobotomy performed on me and I would still write better than you. I’m just that damn good and when you have Miranda Kerr gracing your page do you really need to have quality writing? I mean lets be honest. If you can’t be honest that means you are lying. Every time you lie, Miranda puts on another piece of clothing. That is a very, very bad thing.
DON’T LIE! It is worse than Santa finding out you are bad. Could you imagine how much better the world would be if every time we did something bad, half-nude woman would put on a piece of clothing? I guarantee the world would be a better place instantly. In fact, I suggest Obama pass this through the Senate immediately.
Now I’m a politician, Miranda brings out the best in me. Kisses sweetheart.
Here is Miranda Kerr in Jack magazine. I am declaring her the Model of the Year and if you know anything about MrAlmostWrong it is that he is MrAlwaysRight when it comes to declaring models of the year. My track record is impeccable. For the last 15 years I have chosen Tyra Banks as the model of the year and look at how far his star has risen. She even has the best show on television.
Who am I kidding, you aren’t even reading these words that are flowing off the page like Kool-Aid falls off the chest of a marsupial in the Amazon rainforest. I know usually I stay on track and focus on the topic at hand, but this time I don’t have to because you aren’t reading it. So let me think about what I should talk about freely in this space.
I saw Avatar the other day and all I could think about was that Zoe Saldana was the voice of one of the big blue things. For some reason that made me mildly attracted to the blue thing and I kept on asking myself if that makes me some kind of freak. I don’t think it does, but don’t people always say such things when they are trying to avoid the obvious?
So um yeah, ignore the above paragraph and focus on the pics below.