Telephone: Too Hot To Handle?

Ever since Lady Gaga released her official “Telephone” video on March 11, it’s become a favorite topic online. The nine-minute video just has too many things going on at the same time—just like Gaga’s wardrobe. Here are the trending topics:

1. It has a whopping number of product placements. And yes, people have nothing better to do than to actually count them. According to Advertising Age, there are at least nine different brands appearing in the video. But despite the cornucopia of products, only a handful of brands paid for placements, Lady Gaga’s manager Troy Carter told Advertising Age. Among them are Miracle Whip and Virgin Mobile. The rest were simply given free airtime as thanks for a good partnership with Lady Gaga’s previous shows and projects.

2. The Youtube video has gained over 14,000,000 hits since it came out last week. Enough said.

3. Sexiness is all over the place—from the bra-flashing guards to the sexy jailbirds dressed in bondage attire.

4. Violence is all over the place—from fighting inmates to a poisoning spree.

5. Lady Gaga addresses the hermaphrodite issue. In one scene, the busty lady guards strip an already braless Gaga down to her bare essentials. One of them quips, “I told you she didn’t have a d—k.”

6. Gaga makes out with a girl—but then again, everybody does that these days.

7. Beyoncé is in it, and she was very, very naughty. Although I believe Lady Gaga could’ve done her magic on her own, Beyoncé’s role was interesting. She played the ruthless Honey B, who bailed Gaga out of jail so that they could go on a sexy, killing rampage.

8. Quentin Tarantino lent his bright yellow Chevrolet Silverado SS—a.k.a. The Pussy Wagon, the truck that the bride drives in Kill Bill: Volume 1. Beyoncé and Lady Gaga look much better driving that truck.

9. It has a lot of PG lines, such as the part where Beyonce’s ruthless character tells the guy she killed: “I knew you’d take all of my honey, you selfish motherf*****.”

10. The end of the video flashes “to be continued,” which means we’ll definitely see more of Jonas Akerlund’s creative Gaga genius.

11. MTV banned the video. Yes, sir, the famous music video network found the mini movie-cum-music video too provocative and controversial. I wonder if it has anything to do with Lady Gaga’s team choosing E! as the official channel where they premiered the video. According to reports, other music channels may also ban the video from being aired. Who cares? We still have Youtube.

If you haven’t seen the video yet, spare nine and a half minutes of your life watching below. You won’t regret it.

One fan said it best: “Anyone who’s ever seen her live can testify she is nothing like Britney Spears or Madonna. [Lady Gaga] really is everything.”