Yesterday I spoke about Ashley Greene dressing plain and causing a revolution that might cause violence to spread across the globe. I was truly worried for the existence of mankind and was already making plans for a new bunker under my house. Thankfully, Ashley has come to her senses and released a new set of pics that show she still has a little bit of style, albeit strange as hell.
Again, I’m not sure what is going on with these pictures, but they are definitely better than the one we saw yesterday which honestly isn’t that hard to beat. I truly believe she read my words and thought long and hard about her actions and I don’t think we will be seeing her in such an outfit again for a very long time. In my own way I just saved the world from total disaster so there should be a parade thrown for me.
I don’t want any marching bands in the parade though. They take up too much space and play music that nobody really cares about. Instead, all I want are those giant balloons you see in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. I mean at least 100 of them because those are what people come to see at a parade. I don’t want to ride on a float, I want to ride Garfield.
That is how I am going to do a parade and it will be popular because as you can see it is fun. I’m betting you would even pay to come watch my parade because you have nothing better to do that day. The first pay to watch parade in existence and it is all because of Ashley Greene. I probably owe her lunch for this or something.