I’m going to tell you the worst movie of 2009. You will not argue with me because I am correct in my assessment. That movie was Land of the Lost. It was trash. It was filth. It made a mockery of the movie industry like no other movie besides Citizen Kane. The only redeeming quality of the movie was that Anna Friel was in it and she was banging. So you have to imagine my surprise when I saw her last night leaving my neighbor’s place looking like this.
This isn’t the Anna that I had grown to love over the summer. No, this was some other woman that was nothing like the one that carried that epic failure of a movie. Had she made the mistake of actually seeing the movie herself? I hope not because if so, she is lucky to only come out looking like this.
I’m not only having a hard time writing this entry because I can’t wait to see what my ex-wives got me for Christmas, but because I’m trying to figure out how many different pieces of human beings were used to make her face. She wasn’t born with that face. I just can’t believe it. She had to have surgery on it. A Frankenstein like surgery that combined the best pieces of ugly people. Big mistake Anna, not as big as the movie, but big anyways.
Oh, and if I see you leaving my neighbor’s house again without visiting me first, I will make you do Will Ferrell movies for the rest of your career. Don’t try me.