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Britney Spears Press Confrence.jpg

Britney Spears is holding a press conference at the Los Angeles Convention Center today.  It’s almost been a millennium since she held her last conference, so this is kinda big, like her new look, big.  Anyone else miss the old Brit?  The attractive one with a convincing smile, not the one we see today trying to smile through the K-Fed marriage & dropped babies.

What is this press conference going to be about, Britney?  I’m thinking she either captured Osama bin Laden with her teeth in the woods; or she has converted to Scientology; or she’s finally coming to her senses and leaving her red neck husband Kevin Federline; or she’s going to reveal what everyone and their brother already know- she’s pregnant yet again, and a baby girl is on the way. 

Britney has yet to reveal why she has invited select media, journalist and record industry reps to the convention center, but one question seems to tap at my brain- will K-Fed be a part of this special Spears talk? With his new record on the loose, will he try & upstage his wife for musical attention?

“K-Fed’s the bomb now,” says a friend of the couple. “He’s the one who’s cut a record and performed in public most recently—and who doesn’t look totally gross in sweat pants. Britney’s got to do something other than drive around with her baby on her lap to get attention. I guess this ‘mysterious’ press conference is it.”

News has circulated that there may be marital problems between Britney Spears & Kevin Federline.  Reports of K-Fed’s marijuana use, compulsive spending and his practice of a hands-off theory of parenting have culminated to an unhappy marital affair.

“She can’t stand the thought of playing second banana to a guy who used to carry her [sanitary napkin] bag,” said the friend. “But whether she’s leaving Hollywood, quitting show business, or running for governor, all eyes are going to be on K-Fed if he shows up today.”

To tell you the truth, I’m hoping for the Laden in her teeth scenario.

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Atlas Shrugged.jpgIt looks like hot couple Angelina Pitt & Brad Jolie, I mean Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt will again hit movie screen together.  The Mr. & Mrs. Smith duo have recently been linked to the much-talked-about-but-never-actually-goes-into-filming movie based on Ayn Rand's famous novel Atlas Shrugged.

Lionsgate Films purchased the rights to the film version of the 1957 novel, which is considered to be one of the most influential books of modern history.  I dunno, I'd pay good money to see gambler & fellow Russian writer Fyodor Dostoevsky take on Rand in the literary ring.

According to Variety, the paper which subscribes to the spice of life, Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt would play the lead roles of Dagny Taggart and John Gault.  I can see that.

Here's an excerpt from Atlas Shrugged that describes Dagny in alluring detail, is this the perfect role for Jolie?

"He saw a girl standing on top of a pile of machinery on a flatcar.
She was looking off at the ravine, her head lifted, strands of
disordered hair stirring in the wind. Her plain gray suit was like a
thin coating of metal over a slender body against the spread of sun-
flooded space and sky. Her posture had the lightness and unself-
conscious precision of an arrogantly pure self-confidence. She was
watching the work, her glance intent and purposeful, the glance of
competence enjoying its own function. She looked as if this were
her place, her moment and her world, she looked as if enjoyment
were her natural state, her face was the living form of an active,
living intelligence, a young girl's face with a woman's mouth, she
seemed unaware of her body except as of a taut instrument ready to
serve her purpose in any manner she wished."

You know, the more I read it the more convinced I am that I am the one to play this part!  Get Lionsgate on the phone, Jeeves!

The story revolves around the futuristic economic collapse of the US and illustrates Rand's philosophy of objectivism.

Producers Howard and Karen Baldwin will adapt the 560,938-word novel into a feature film, a task I do not envy. 

Over the many years Clint Eastwood, Robert Redford & Faye Dunaway have had ties to the project.  It's just another Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.  We'll probably be lucky if we see it in our lifetime.

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Britney Spears Pregnant Again.jpgIs seems like it was just yesterday that Brit was pregnant.  Ah well, I guess we're going to need another birthing sculpture.  As if dropping one child repeatedly wasn't enough, Britney Spears, 24, and Kevin Federline, 28, are expecting another child.  Does this news in some way relate to the Brit & K-Fed ruckus this weekend & Spears skipping out on Federline's Las Vegas debut party (pronounced 'parte')?  Hmmmm...

Did the conversation go a little something like this, "Listen babe, I love you.  What I mean to say is that I love your tight ass, which isn't looking so tight these days by the way, and I love your retail value.  But damn, girl.  I can't help it if I'm a fertile son-of-a-bitch.  I can just walk by a woman and get the bitch pregnant.  I'm what you would call a walking sperm bank.  Yeah, that's it, a walking sperm bank.  Damn, that's pretty good, I'll have to remember that one."

"But, K, I don't know if I want to have another baby.  I've already dropped this one too many times to remember, we've had DCFS out to the house and I can't even think to put baby Sean in the car seat.  What are we going to do with a second child?  And I need to start getting this bod back in shape for MTV, not stretching it back out again for another red neck child.  I just don't know.  Maybe we need some time apart.  Yes, that's it, some time apart.  Time for me to get my sanity back & try to understand why I married you in the first place."

"Listen bitch, our situation is different. I ain't gettin' no divorce. F%$k that! I don't believe in that shit. Once you get married, you're in it for the fight. Nick and Jessica did their whole thing together. They really blew up together on that show. They deserve whatever they get and you deserve whatever you get, Brit.  Is that what you want, to fight?  'Cause I'm ready for that shit, Brit.  You bring it on, girl."

"I'm going back to the hotel, enjoy your stupid little debut party.  By the way, the critics are right.  You really do suck."

I think it went exactly that way.

Apparently the pregnant news was finally confirmed by US Weekly when Spears was spotted poolside at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas this past weekend sporting a red bikini and with a new bump.

This will be the second child for Britney Spears and husband Kevin Federline.  The couple, who have been married since late 2004, have a seven-month-old boy, Sean.  Federline has two children from a previous relationship with Moesha star Shar Jackson, whom he ran out on while she was six months pregnant.  What a hottie.

All I can say is that I hope Britney Spears comes to her senses and soon, K-Fed is an irksome fungus swallowing the poor girl into redneckness.

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Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie Homeless Sign Baby GIft.jpgIt's a happenin' place, Namibia these days. Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt have turned the spotlight on the African country. Jolie recently threatened to leave Namibia, however, where she plans on giving birth to her & Brad Pitt's child, if the couple does not receive any privacy from the press.

In a statement delivered by Jolie henchman Mickey Brett, the Jolie-Pitt family pleads for privacy. "We love Africa and to be here in Namibia with our family is very special for us. To the local people who have been so kind and gracious, thank you for making us feel at home. As for the press, we kindly ask for privacy so we can be free to enjoy this beautiful county with our children. Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt." It think they forgot to put in, "If you don't leave us be bitches, I'm going to release the bloody hound Mickey Brett and it's not going to be pretty, I can tell you that much."

Hmmm, so do Jolie & Pitt think the press will just pack up and leave after that moving statement? I wish the J-P fam solitude, but I fear it may be in vain. Or maybe not. Three French photographers were ordered to leave Namibia this week or face arrest. Others, including a Sunday Times photographer, have been issued statements that they are "prohibited / illegal" immigrants and have been given 48 hours to pack up, or face arrest themselves.

So, it looks like Namibia is trying to help Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt out by ousting the bad eggs. Namibian Prime Minister Nahas Angula has been a strong supporter of the J-P fam and has defended their right for privacy. He disagreed with the "public figure in a public place" principle saying, "They are not public people in the sense that are elected persons. An elected person has got a responsibility to the public, but someone who has a talent to be a good film star, that person is entitled to peace of mind like everyone else."

"If that person says they don't want to be photographed then, of course, that person deserves protection." And isn't that what nice boy Mickey Brett has been doing?

Sounds like some sucking up going on "a talent to be a good film star," a little bit of Indecent Proposal on your mind, Minister. I do wonder, what about those other famous celebs that visit Namibia, do they have to qualify as a good film star to receive some peace & quiet?

Despite their need for seclusion, the J-P fam has taken in the sights. They made it to Walvis Bay to feast on some local cuisine at a queer hole-in-the-wall restaurant called Kentucky Fried Chicken. Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt have been spotted coming out of a jewelry store & at a pet shop where they were shopping for a turtle for Maddox. The celebrity couple also posed for a private photo session amid the dunes at Swakopmud, the photographs are said to have been sold for $700,000.

Which brings us to the biggie, when are we going to get to see baby Jolie-Pitt? It looks lilke People have the answer. Who would have guessed it? Just about everyone. People magazine have purchased the exclusive rights to the first photo of Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt's baby. How much you ask? People will donate $3.5 million to Unicef in exchange for the sought-after pics.

Meanwhile, listeners to a Namibian radio station have urged the J-P fam to name the child 'Naledi' meaning 'star' in Setswana. The seond favorite name was 'Katiti' which translates to 'little one' in Herero and Oshiwambo. How about just naming little Jolie-Pitt '$3.5'. I think it has a nice ring to it.

BTW- Is that Heath Ledger holding the carboard sign?

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Charlie Sheen Denise Richards.jpgAccording to legal papers filed by former Bond girl and Richie Sambora kisser Denise Richards, she left Charlie Sheen last year because he’s a crazy son-of-a-bitch.  
 
In legal documents filed Friday in Los Angeles, Denise claims Sheen was obsessed with conspiracy theories surrounding the 9/11 terrorist attack and the death of O.J. Simpson’s wife, Nicole.  I guess he thinks the glove did fit.  Sheen reportedly even showed Richards photographs of the slain Nicole (how does one get those?) and appeared to be mesmerized by the autopsy photos.  At this point, Richards knew it was time to get packin’, grab the gun and the luggage.

Richards reveals, “Respondent’s (Sheen) behavior was totally irrational. The Respondent became paranoid.

“Respondent began to obsess about vaccines being poisonous, about 911 being a conspiracy, purchasing gas masks on the Internet, and putting guns under our coffee table so that they would be within reach if someone broke into our house.

“Respondent also displayed what I can only describe as an abnormal fascination with Nicole Simpson’s death and showed my mother and I her autopsy photographs, which I found very disturbing.

“I had one small child and was pregnant and I was afraid to leave him; I was also afraid to stay with him.”

Richards also claims Sheen has abused prescription drugs, suffers from violent mood swings, has a porn addiction, classifies him as an extremely paranoid man, gambled compulsively, frequented prostitutes & that he has threatened to kill her on at least one occasion.

Sheen denies all the claims against him, don’t they always?  I mean come on!  If any one of these things are true, you have a true head-case on your hands. 

Richards eventually filed for divorce but the couple tried to reconcile at the end of last year (yeah, I too think it’s hot when my beau threatens to kill me), only to say goodbye for good in January.

The Wild Things actress recently won a temporary restraining order, which does not allow Charlie to come within 300 feet of her or their two children, with claims that the actor has made threats to her life.  Does this explain why she ran into the arms of her best bud Heather Locklear’s soon-to-be-ex-husband Richie Sambora, I don’t know.  It might, however, explain that sling on his arm.  The Sheenster can be quite an ominous enemy.

Now, we can’t leave sorry Charlie out, here he is now.

“I move forward and I maintain my integrity … and focus on my children,” Sheen told Entertainment Tonight.  “Richards’ filing is a “heinous document of fiction.”  Then what a work of fiction it is.  Maybe Denise should consider a career as a writer is she’s that creative.

“I’m deeply saddened because this is clearly demonstrating a wanting and willful attempt at what I describe as a radical and transparent smear campaign and clearly a departure from sound, sane, responsible co-parenting,” Sheen said.  I’m sorry, you cant say ‘smear campaign’ without sending me into fits of giggles, especially when you’re talking about a Hollywood divorce and not a political election.  Who even says smear campaign? 

“It is a reaction to a failed marriage, a reaction to some twisted desire–real or imagined–to hurt, to punish, to discredit, to completely torpedo, to undermine my perception as a responsible father … a contributing father, a guy who would give his life for his children.” Sounds like he was prepared- ‘completely torpedo’?  Man, this guy can talk a hurricane into thinking its a puppy dog.

Charlie Sheen went on to say that Denise Richards is “the only one entirely culpable for putting these radical allegations out for public consumption … my children included.”

Whew!  What happened to making divorce easy on the kids?  I think Charlie Sheen & Denise Richards both need a visit from Oprah.

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Jennifer Ansiton Smoking.jpgIn a breaking news release, Jennifer Aniston has quit smoking though not because of pal Courtney Cox’s advice.  Aniston apparently has plans to try her voice at singing, outside the shower. 

The former Friends star has been inspired by Reese Witherspoon & Nicole Kidman who surprised film goers with their vocal talents in Walk the Line & Moulin Rouge. 

“I have to quit the cigs so that I can get my voice in shape.”

No matter the reason, I’m sure we’re all happier knowing that Aniston is taking her health a little more seriously.  Why it seems like just yesterday that a Life & Style insider told us that, “Courteney (Cox) thinks Jen smokes and drinks too much.”

All I have to say is that it’s going to be interesting seeing Aniston carry a tune.

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Tom Cruise Katie Holmes Baby Suri News.jpgWell, it looks like Katie might already be giving baby Suri the high hat. Katie Holmes has begun making wedding plans. From the dress to getting her body back to its slim feminine self, Katie is getting ready for the Cruise / Holmes wedding day.

Holmes has met with the owner of Buff Brides, a company that sculpts bodies for the big day. Katie hopes to work on her shoulders and back so she can look stunning in her wedding gown. A source tells TMZ that Katie’s dress is a sleek strapless A-line cut straight across at the bust, form-fitted at the waist and falls to the floor. It should be a lovely affair, I wonder who will preside over the ceremony, the spirit of L. Ron?

In a related note, Nicole Kidman has congratulated Katie on her birth to Suri but made no mention of Tom Cruise in her statement released through her publicist, “I hope both mother and baby are doing well.” Which I think translates to, “Get out while you can, Katie. Get out while you can.”

Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes have their hands full these days. Planning a wedding, beginning the path of parenting as well as the new path for Katie of brainwashing, I mean Scientology. Speaking of which, it looks like Katie did indeed ask for an epidural despite the Church of Scientology’s belief in restraining from such drugs. Holmes did, however, seem to maintain a quite atmosphere during the delivery with everyone in the room staying silent and the nurses using hand signals.

Do you train for that in medical school? I guess it would be the In Case You Ever Have to Deal with Scientologists During a Delivery nursing lesson that reviews hand signals for “We may have to perform a Caesarean!” or “Is the head really suppose to look like that?”.

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Angelina Jolie Will Marry Brad Pitt

Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie Wedding.jpgAccording to Life & Style the Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt Namibian wedding rumors are true.  Brad has finally gotten his wish, Angelina will marry the poor boy.  This will be the third marriage for Jolie (third time’s the charm?) and the second for Brad Pitt, but who’s counting when it comes to this hot & heavy couple?

The wedding is not expected to be a typical one.  Well, how could it be when Jolie showed up for her first marriage to Hackers co-actor Johnny Lee Miller in black leather pants and a white shirt painted with his name in her blood on the back? 

Rumors are that Jolie & Pitt will have a traditional Namibian ceremony which is usually performed by a local tribal chief in the Bantu dialect.  With reports of the pairs’ families flying in, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Brad Pitt turned into Brad Jolie over the weekend.

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Tony Parker Eva Longoria Engaged.jpgJamie Foxx has leaked the news that Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria will marry Tony Parker.  On the “Ellen DeGeneres” talk show this past Monday, Foxx unknowingly let it slip that the pair would soon walk down the isle.  “I know her boyfriend and soon-to-be husband,” stated Foxx.

You know, I don’t know if I would want my chum broadcasting to the world that I was planning on getting hitched, seems like something Longoria & Parker would want to do themselves.  You sly Foxx, you.  This will be the second marriage for Longoria and the first for Parker.  The pair have not yet announced their engagement but are close friends with comedian Foxx and even teamed up with Parker to record a song, interestingly enough.  “We’re good friends.  We actually hooked up on a song.  He raps (Tony Parker raps?!) in French.  He kills in French (he kills?).  It sounds sexy, (hey, who’s marrying who here?) I don’t know what he’s saying.  He could just be saying, ‘Order me dinner.’  It’s a trip to hear it.”

Eva Longoria is apparently thrilled she met Tony Parker when she did or she may have turned out like a trampy Paris Hilton.  Here she is now.

“I love that I met Tony when I met him because everything was starting to get crazy and I could have been one of those Hollywood girls that partied.  It was like a magnet and he just grounded me before it got (crazy).”

“I can see where you can get caught up in it.  You think it’s the work, ‘I have to go out, I have to be seen, I have to be on every red carpet.’” 

That kinda does sound like our ole pal Paris.  Congrats to the two for finding a deep relationship in the crazy, faux playground of Hollywoodland.

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Angelina Jolie Zahara Brad Pitt.jpgA local governor in Namibia has confirmed that Angelina Jolie, seen here with adopted daughter Zahara at an airstrip near Namibia, & Brad Pitt will have their baby in the African country. According to The Sunday Times of South Africa, Samuel Sheefeni Nuuyoma, the governor of the Namibian province where the couple is staying, met with the stars this past Friday.

“They are having the baby here, and they talked about giving the child a Namibian name,” stated Nuuyoma. He said Jolie had made the Namibian name choice because “she loves Namibia.” Although it remains to be seen if her love will be reciprocated.

After Jolie & Pitt hired security specialist Mickey Brett to securitize their resort lodgings at the Swakopmund Hotel & Entertainment Center, locals have been threatened and chased off public beaches. According to local press reports, Mickey Brett, the same Mickey Brett who worked for Nicole Kidman and was arrested and later released following the 1993 murder of a millionaire tycoon in London, has closed off roads around the Swakopmund resort and chased local children from nearby public beaches.

Brett has also threatened reporters and photographers with physical violence. Here he is now, “If I find anyone gettin’ a picture of Jolie, I will fu@*ing smash someone to pieces. I’m not joking. I’ll fu#$ing put someone in hospital. Tell your friends.” Wow, what a catch. What’s he like on a date?

Jolie & Pitt are expected to be in Namibia for the next six weeks, if they are not carted off and thrown into the Atlantic Ocean by locals first. One Namibian resident states, “I sympathize with Brad Pitt and Angelina because they do want privacy, but on the other hand they are public figures and there is a lot of interest in their visit. From what I hear they are nice people but their security guys most certainly aren’t.”

Well, if Angelina gives the baby a Namibian name, maybe all will be forgiven. Otherwise, Jolie should think of naming the love child ‘Crayfish’ after the ocean inhabitants they will meet in the Atlantic after being cast in by irritated Namibians.

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Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie.jpgBefore hitting Namibia last week, Angelina Jolie & love partner Brad Pitt stopped to take a quick shop at a Parisian boutique. What did they buy, you ask? Why it appears as if the couple may be expecting a little girl to come their way soon. People, as always, informs us that Jolie & Pitt stocked up on baby stuff including dresses, socks, a bonnet & a layette.

According to the People informer he overheard Jolie saying, “We think it’s a girl, but we’re not 100% certain.”

Earlier in the pregnancy Brad’s sister Julie went on a shopping spree in Missouri nabbing all little girls clothing for the couple. So, unless the master couple of misdirection pull the wool over our eyes once again, it looks like they just might probably maybe more than likely be the proud parents of Wookey the baby girl chimp, I mean the proud parents of a little girl.

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Nicole Richie Blowing Away in Wind.jpgThe Simple Life star Nicole Richie is having a case of celebself-innerflection which is my new word for celebrities looking inward and reflecting.  You like it?  Richie has a lot on her plate these days:  a big nose to look at, drifting away in the wind due to her diminishing body weight and listening to her ex-pal Paris Hilton diss her in the news every other day.

Let’s tackle the nose first, it might be a long climb getting there, but we’ll make it.  Nicole Richie is considering having plastic surgery on the thing she calls her nose.  She has apparently taken inspiration from the famous nostrils of Kristy Hume.

“If I could change anything about myself it would be my nose, I hate it.  I’d get a nose done like Kristy Hume’s; she has my kind of nose but smaller.  I see really good nose jobs in LA, but it’s a big decision.”

Richie is right about one thing, it is a ‘big’ decision, for the nose that is.  The daughter of Lionel Richie is dealing with something quite opposite regarding her body weight, she appears to be loosing pounds by the hour, growing smaller.  The incredible large-nosed shrinking woman?  One minute the dress fits, the next minute she’s blowing away in the wind without it.  But she doesn’t appreciate the thin accusations by the media and her friends.

“Am I thin?  Yes, no doubt about it.  But to say I’m on the verge of death is just untrue.  My family gets really upset to see people writing these lies about their child.”  And if you don’t want to hear Lionel sing 24-7, you had better watch the hell out.

Understandable.  But if Calista Flockhart looks like a buxom, voluptuous and shapely woman compared to you, I think I might consider a few extra milkshakes.

The Simple Life co-star and ex-pal Paris Hilton is even weighing in on Richie’s thin appearance, “That’s not normal.  I can’t believe it.  She looks horrible.  It’s really sad.

I’m not sure we can trust the place that Paris is coming from since the hotel heiress has vowed to “never speak with her (Richie) again- ever” despite the upcoming The Simple Life 4:  Till Death Do Us Part series, although it looks like they will not have to film any scenes together.  It does beg the question if the two can work together for the fifth season of Simple Life, which both are under contract for.  But, I’ve always liked a good little cat fight and maybe it will really be till death do us part.  Meow!

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Kate Moss Will Be No Jailbird

Kate Moss Skinny 2.jpgThe British newspaper Daily Mail claims that Kate Moss is unlikely to be charged or inkaterized over her alleged use of cocaine in a London recording studio last year.  Due to insufficient evidence and Kate’s lack of any admittance to the charlie charges, it will probably just slip by and take the backseat. 

In September the Daily Mirror published images of the supermodel which appeared to show her snorting cocaine in a studio where her then-boyfriend Pete Doherty was recording with his band Babyshambles, something he does rarely these days according to Morrissey.  Kate released a statement admitting “full responsibility” for her actions, although never stating what her actions truly were.  What a brilliant move by the Moss.

Interestingly enough, the police are concerned that Moss may have been set up by a music industry insider, who wanted the claws of Kate extracted from Babyshambles Pete no doubt, who had hoped to sell the images to a newspaper.  The image did catch a pretty penny, it is rumored that the Daily Mirror paid handsomely for the Kate-sniffing-coke photo, the likes of $262,500. 

It’s the George O’Dowd principle all over again.  Be a celebrity not for the worldly goods, but for the ability to weasel out of trouble.

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Paris Cafe Worker Spills the Beans on Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie

Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie Family Pic.jpgParis cafe worker Ahmed Shrir has us all wondering about the so-called happy couple Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie.  Apparently Brad is an unhappy Parisian camper and the relationship is on rocky ground since they moved into a less than desirable tower block in Paris.

Shrir told the British newspaper Daily Mail, “Brad is a really nice guy, but he’s not too happy about this area.  He says Angelina wanted to live in an ordinary Paris district, and that his security people put them in the high-rise block. 

Although Brad’s great with the kids, he says there’s nowhere for them to play properly and they’re both very worried about the pollution.  There are hundreds of cars going by day and night, not to mention the trains.  Brad came over here to get away from it all.  He finds Angelina very demanding and doesn’t seem to be very happy with the way their lives are going.”

I guess Brad was used to the luxury he & ex-wife Jennifer Aniston shared in their $25.5 million California estate.  But I’m not sure which is more unbelievable- that Brad would divulge this much personal information to his cafe server, that two of the world’s sexiest people who just happen to be in a relationship together are unhappy, or that the Daily Mail found a French citizen that was actually helpful and communicative.  You tell me.

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David & Pamela Hasselhoff Divorce at an End?

David & Pamela Hasselhoff.jpgAre Dave & Pam finally ready to move on?  The bitter divorce between David & Pamela Hasselhoff which has seen its fair share of domestic violence allegations and restraining orders may be close to an end.  It looks like both parties are agreeing to the terms reached in their divorce settlement.  David will be carted off to Germany to live out his days with a house of six sexy frauleins and Pamela will have her own reality TV show, “My Life with David- Living with the Ape Man”.

TMZ.com has allegedly obtained court documents which include David Hasselhoff’s lawyer, Marci Levine, stating in an email, “We believe that we may have reached a full resolution of the custody and visitation issue and are in the process of preparing a formal judgment.”

The memo asks that all restraining orders and ape hair removal regiments to stay in effect for the time being.  The former Baywatch star, David Hasselhoff is to “remove his personal effect from the family residence” on April 19, provided that there is a “neutral, third party present at the exchange”.

So, now that we have the kids worked out, what about the property settlement?  Man, are we going to have to go through this mess again?  One thing’s for sure, I know Pamela will be happy to start taking down all those tacky posters of David from the early years.  What was he thinking?  Hairy speedo ape man & the naked with shar peis poster?  The guy clearly has issues, or his agent does.

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Ford & Flockhart.jpgHarrison Ford, 63 & Calista Flockhart , 41 have been a couple for over four years.  Where did all the time go?  I remember when we first read about this handsome, if not vast age difference, duo.  Why, it seems it was just yesterday…… Well, rumors and whispers abound that the couple may well be on the road to tie that final knot, this would be the third marriage for Ford, the first for Flockhart. 

According to the weekly publication In Touch, Ford hid a two-carat diamond engagement ring in a bakery bag, so the actress would find it as she reached inside for her croissant.  Ahh, how sweet.  I’m not sure what surprises me most- the fact that they are finally going to take action on the marriage front or that Calista actually eats, a strong gust of wind would send the poor thing sailing away with Ford hastefully trying to catch her.   

A source told In Touch, “When Calista reached in the bag she found a gorgeous two-carat diamond from Tiffany’s.” Flockhart’s publicists insist the engagement story is false and that the couple are not planning to marry any time soon.  If I were Calista I’d get on the ball, I’m not sure how long 63-year-old Ford is going to be able to keep himself above ground.  {Source}   

 



Jennifer Love Hewitt Goes Public with Ross McCall at Oscars Party

jennifer_love_hewitt.jpgThe rumors have been confirmed.  Jennifer Love Hewitt loves Ross McCall.  During the Oscars post-show parties on Sunday, Hewitt revealed her date to be her boyfriend, Scottish actor Ross McCall. 

You know McCall from Band of Brothers as the sensitive Cpl. Joseph Liebgott.  Apparently Hewitt fell head over heels when he recently appeared as a guest on her hit TV drama Ghost Whisperer.  And now he’s whispering about more than ghosts into that pretty little ear of hers.  From the actress who has dated a Hollywood variety from actors Joey Lawrence (Woah!), Will Friedle, Carson Daly & That 70s Show’s Wilmer Valderrama, I’m interested to see how long she keeps this one.

A new little tid bit about Hewitt, she was recently left stranded by a “ginormous” man.  While at a gas station off trendy Robertson Boulevard, she gave a gas attendant $40 to fill up her Mini Copper’s tank.  it looks like the large gentleman pocketed the money and gave Hewitt the signal that she was ready to go. 

Here she is, “I gave him $40 and I drove away.  It never dawned on me to check he’d actually put gas in the car.  He pocketed my $40, never put gas in the car and I get to Roberston, the one street filled with paparazzi and I’m like, ‘Oh, it’s not going… This is not funny.’”

Hewitt proceeded to get out and push her Mini down the street (a taste of real life for the star) while several people offered their help and the paparazzi-studded street came to life.  There was an up-beat dancing number where Hewitt stripped down to a yellow sequined leotard with silver finge, camera flashes popping and Hewitt piroutting over cars.  Ross McCall enters, sweeps Hewitt into a sexy, sweet kiss, brushes the worries and fears from her face & gives the bad boy gas attendant a firm talking to.  It was fabulous, wish you could have seen it too.

Hewitt insists she will not be returning to the gas station where she was cheated.   She adds, “He was a ginormous man, what was he going to do?  He was not going to feel sorry for me.”

Who knew she could dance so well?

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Under The Sea With James Cameron

Cameron.jpgIt appears as if Titanic director James Cameron is a seafarer, he is just drawn to the waters of beauty and despair.  He will be heading back to the sea in his next movie project, The Dive. 

This film will tell the true tale of legendary free-divers and lovers, Francisco ‘Pipin’ Ferraras and his wife, the late Audrey Mestre.  In 2002 Mestre died attempting to beat her own world record.  The famous and admired couple participated in the dangerous and controversial sport of free-diving, which is a competition to see who can dive the deepest underwater on a single breath of air. 

The movie will begin shooting as soon as Cameron wraps up his latest film, tentatively titled, Project 880.

You think there’s a happy ending?

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Under the sea
Under the sea
When the sardine
Begin the beguine
It’s music to me
What do they got? A lot of sand
We got a hot crustacean band
Each little clam here
know how to jam here
Under the sea
Each little slug here
Cuttin’ a rug here
Under the sea
Each little snail here
Know how to wail here
That’s why it’s hotter
Under the water
Ya we in luck here
Down in the muck here
Under the sea
 



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