Performancing Metrics


Archive for the ‘Conscience & Morality Tales’ Category


Mel Gibson told Good Morning America‘s Diane Sawyer that he’s been sober for 65 days and that he’s trying to put his Jew-hating July 28 drunk driving arrest behind him.  Mel is even calling the anti-Semitic rant “the stupid rambling of a drunkard.”

50-year-old Gibson revealed to Sawyer that he had started drinking again two months before being pulled over by the police in Malibu.  Here’s Mel now.

“Years go by, you’re fine.”

“All of a sudden in a heartbeat, in an instant, on an impulse, somebody shoves a glass of Mescal in front of your nose and says, ‘It’s from Oaxaca.’ And it’s burning its way through your esophagus and you go, ‘Oh man, what did I do that for? I can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.'”

In August Mel pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor charge of drunk & was sentenced to three years probation, was barred from driving for a three-month period & had to pay a fine of $1,300- which I’m betting he can afford.

Responding to those who shun him professionally for his drunk anti-Semitic comments, Mel stated, “I feel sad because they’ve obviously been hurt and frightened and offended enough to feel that they have to do that. Um, and it’s their choice. There’s nothing I can do about that.”

“I’ll always continue to work. I’ve never much depended on anyone but myself, as far as that goes. And, hey, I’m not under the illusion that everything’s just going to be hunky-dory work wise forever. I’ve never been under that illusion. Things could go away tomorrow.”

What would Mel like to tell his critics? Gibson said, “Give me a chance to show you who I am?”

“Well, hopefully, in time they’ll know. And, you’re powerless over everything really … All you can do is take another step, keep breathing.”

And watch out where he’s breathing, that can be some stankin’ anti-Jewish drunk breath you’re getting.



Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie made a $100,000 donation to the Daniel Pearl Foundation in memory of the American journalist who was kidnapped and tragically killed in Pakistan February 2002.

The monetary gift was made through the Jolie-Pitt Foundation and was presented Tuesday, what would have been the late Pearl’s 43rd birthday.

Pitt & Jolie made a statement released by their rep, “On this day our thoughts go out to Danny’s family.” 

“The Daniel Pearl Foundation is celebrating this day, his birthday, with music festivals around the world. The festivals are a great reminder of not just Danny’s work as a journalist but of his life and his love of music.”

Brad & Angelina arrived last week (see rickshaw pictures) in Pune, India to film a biopic of the Wall Street Journal reporter Pearl.  Angelina will be playing the part of his wife, Mariane Pearl. 

Brangelina strikes again, making the world a better place.



Sienna Miller may think monogamy is dead, remember that infamous quote?  “I don’t know, monogamy is a weird thing for me. It’s an overrated virtue, because, let’s face it, we’re f-cking animal.”

But 21-year-old starlett Scarlett Johansson recently told Rolling Stone that she is a one-man woman.  Here she is now.

“When I’m in a relationship, I’m in a relationship. [My boyfriend] Josh [Hartnett] is very sweet.  He’s a good boy. A great person. I’m very lucky and I’m very happy. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not promiscuous. ”

“There does seem to be a mistaken belief out there that I am sexually available somehow which is not to say that I’m not open-minded about sex. Yet I wouldn’t say I’m a serial monogamist, either. I mean, I went through periods of time when I was, ah, single. I do think on some basic level we are animals, and by instinct we kind of breed accordingly.”

Scarlett does insist on being on the safe side all the same, “I get tested for HIV twice a year…one has to be socially aware. It’s part of being a decent human, to be tested for STDs. It’s just disgusting behavior when people don’t. It’s just so irresponsible.”

So true, so true.  Do you think Scarlett has a good head on her shoulders or just a good pair of shoulders?






Larry Birkhead, one of two men claiming paternity on Anna Nicole Smith’s newborn baby, was snapped outside of Toys ‘R Us in NYC September 26. 

The photojournalist has claimed that he, not Anna Nicole’s lawyer & semi-husband Howard K. Stern, is the father of Dannilynn Hope.  Birkhead recently filed a paternity suit in order to establish that he is the real father, not Stern.

But I have to say, isn’t it a little early to start buying pink bears?


Matt Dillon Blasts President Bush Immigration Policies

matt-dillion-immigration-10-3-2006.jpg42-year-old Crash star Matt Dillon has blasted President George W. Bush’s administration’s immigration polices.  Dillon has accused the leader’s tactics of “denying everything that America stands for.”

Dillon went on to state that he believes that the Bush administration has forgotten the roots of the country and is stunned by plans to build an actual fence along the U.S. & Mexico border in order to curb illegal immigration to the States.

Dillon reveals, “If we deny other people coming to our country then we’re denying everything that America stands for.

“I feel that way especially with our neighbors in Mexico.

“It’s complicated. I don’t have a solution and I don’t pretend to have one.

“We’ve gone backward in many respects.”

I’m glad Matt Dillon has found something worthwhile to be passionate about.



Mel Gibson Hates Jews & the Iraq War

mel-gibson-iraq-war-9-25-2006.jpgWell, it looks like Jews are not the only thing Mel Gibson hates.  Gibson made a surprise public appearance Friday at the Fantastic Fest in Texas to promote his new film Apocalypto.

During his first public appearance since his drunk driving & Jew hating comments, Gibson slammed the war in Iraq and warned festival goers that the war would be the downfall of the U.S.

Mel stated, “The precursors to a civilization that’s going under are the same, time and time again. What’s human sacrifice if not sending guys off to Iraq for no reason?”

I wonder, what are the precursors of a dead-end career?  Why I think it might have something to do getting drunk and slamming Jews.


Dave Navarro Trashes ‘Life & Style’ Magazine

dave-navarro-blog-9-22-2006.jpgRocker & Carmen Electra ex Dave Navarro has a lot of time on his hands lately & has been a busy, busy bee.  Recently on his blog, Navarro has let loose some steam on Life & Style magazine.  Here is the man now.

“Life & Style are now officially the new Kings of the Bottom feeders…L&S has stated that I am homeless and heartbroken after being kicked out of someone’s home (whom I never dated or lived with).

“As you know, I don’t like to respond to this stuff, but my real issue with them isn’t the story or my denial, it’s the fact that they called for a comment and chose not to run it because it made the story less dramatic and sensational. What did they think I was going to do? Confirm? When they asked for my response, I informed them that not only have I never dated the woman in question, but I have never even been to her home, let alone lived there.

“I am also very much housed, living in a comfortable residence situated in the heart of fabulous Hollywood, CA. In true L&S form, they chose to go with the “source”, instead of the facts that came directly from the center of their story… Me.

“Is it worth my attention? No, not at all… But it sure is fun! HAHA! Plus, I like to give you, the reader, an inside look at how this shit goes down. (It also doesn’t suck that I get to trash L&S in the process!)”

Ahhh, Dave and your many, many, may women.  How does he keep up with all of them?


George Clooney Attacks Media

george-clooney-darfur-media-attack-9-21-2006.jpgHollywood hunk, actor & activist George Clooney has launched an attack on the media at large, and most especially the New York Times.

A staunch opponent of President George W. Bush, Clooney charges the media with beating around the Bush when it comes to George W’s performance as the country’s leader.  He blames the American public for focusing too much on reality TV instead of real news.

Clooney states, “In the year-and-a-half or two years leading up to the war in Iraq, both in print and in broadcast journalism, the media took a pass on its responsibilities. I don’t think there’s anyone that would deny it–The New York Times certainly hasn’t.

“And if The New York Times and The Washington Post and USA Today are all reneging on their responsibility, then believe me it’s going down to the local news level as well.

“This has really been a poor time in journalism. We already had a Congress on the same side as the White House. We needed a Fourth Estate more than ever, to say, ‘Let’s at least ask questions before we do these things.’

“The media’s failings reflect on the rest of us too. It took, what, three months after September 11 before reality shows became big again? There’s a responsibility to be upheld.”

I have a weak spot for George Clooney, that’s all I’ll say.


The Manny is Back: Now Protecting Jude Law


The Manny is back.  Perry Taylor who we know & love from protecting Britney Spears & family looks to now be employed by none other than Jude Law.

Why the new Law assignment?  Did Jude see a little something extra in this one?  Well, maybe the on-again-off-again Sienna Miller will reap some rewards.


Last Pictures of Anna Nicole Smith’s Son Daniel Sold

anna-nicole-smith-son-daniel-pictures-last.jpgYou know, I never quite know how to take these types of things.  Reps for Anna Nicole Smith have sold the last known photographs of Daniel Wayne Smith for more than $600,000.  Daniel tragically & suddenly died in the Bahamas last week shortly after seeing mom Anna Nicole & his newborn sister.

The pictures of Daniel, Anna Nicole & her newborn daughter were taken just hours before Daniel’s death.

Reports are in that In Touch magazine paid $400,000 for the print exclusive, beating out People’s $350,000 bid.  Entertainment Tonight and The Insider paid an estimated $250,000 for the TV rights to the photos.

An In Touch rep stated, “Our story will be a tribute to Daniel’s life as well as a celebration of it.”

Hopefully the photo money will go to charity or a fund set up in Daniel’s name.


Winona Ryder to Save Your Ass from Skin Cancer






Skin cancer sucks, but Winona Ryder naked certainly does not.  So, when you combine the two it isn’t so bad, right?

Ryder is helping to raise awareness (and will probably raise some other things in her efforts) for skin cancer.  The actress has posed nude, thank the heavens for us, for t-shirts and posters only covered by the words, “Protect the Skin You’re In” & “Save Your Ass”.

The ads are to be featured in Marc Jacobs stores & will also other celebrities such as crazypants Naomi Campbell, Christy Turlington & sexy Dita Von Teese.


George Clooney Speaks to UN



Hollywood hunk George Clooney delivered a speech yesterday to the United Nations Security Council.  The actor, as he has done in the past, urged the UN to finally act on the continuing violence in Sudan. 

Clooney warned members that the genocide in Sudan was taking place on their “watch.”

He stated, “I’m here to represent the voices of the people who cannot speak for themselves. We know how difficult a task this is… but you are the UN and this is the task that you have been given.

“It is the first genocide of the 21st Century and if it continues unchecked, it will not be the last.

“How you deal with it is your legacy. It’s your Rwanda, your Cambodia, your Auschwitz. We are one ‘yes’ away from ending it.”

Clooney is referring to the last rejected resolution that would have seen 20,000 UN troops move into the region.




Death of a President, the fictional documentary by British director/creator Gabriel Range, is set to be released in the United States.  One of the most talked-about movies from the Toronto Film Festival has sold the distribution rights to Newmarket Films.  This will not be the first provocative film the company has handled, Mel Gibson used Newmarket to distribute The Passion of the Christ.

Nemarket reportedly paid $1 million for Death of a President and is expected to release the film in the US in the coming months.  The movie is set around events that eventually culminate in the assassination of President George W Bush.  Maybe a good holiday movie?

The film was shot as if it were a TV documentary, although, obviously the events are fictional.  Range used film stock from three visits President Bush made to Chicago.  The movie opens with demonstrations in Chicago against Bush as he visits the city in 2007.  As the US President is leaving a hotel after giving a speech, he is shot by a sniper.

In an interview Range explained audience reaction, “The reaction of the general public was very good.

“People didn’t know what to expect. Our film has a very striking premise but it is not sensational or gratuitous. I hope people will see it as a balanced film and compelling drama. It is an oblique look at the ways the United States has changed since 9/11. We use the lens of the future to explain the past.”

“We portrayed the horror of assassination. … I don’t think anyone would get the idea of assassinating Bush from this film,” Range said.  

Hollywood legend Kevin Costner, on the other hand, was negatively affected by the assassination film.

He says, “It’s awfully hard if you’re his children, his wife, his mother, his dad; there’s a certain thing we can’t lose as human beings, which is empathy for maybe the hardest job in the world.

“Whether we think it’s being performed right or not we can’t, like, wish…or think that’s even cute.”

Ever the patriot, Costner.  Well, I suppose he has played enough of the American hero roles…


You Can Breathe- Lindsay Lohan’s Bag Recovered




We can now all go back to our life, teen queen Lindsay Lohan will be able to hold & cherish her orange Hermes Birkin bag once again.

The bag in question was “stolen” yesterday at London’s Heathrow Airport as Lohan & beau Harry Morton were returning from their Venice travels.

A Metro Police spokeswoman has just announced, “A member of the public contacted us to say they had found it and brought it in.”

“We have not yet established what, if anything, is missing.”

We can all breathe a little easier knowing that Lindsay Lohan has been reunited with the orange monster bag.  And it feels so good.




Katie Holmes has spoken out in the latest edition of Vanity Fair.  Along with the first photographs of her & Tom Cruise’s daughter Suri, Holmes has revealed to the publication how the media made her feel during the much-covered pregnancy & after.

The October edition of Vanity Fair features the first printed photos of five-month-old Suri, as posted yesterday, and also gives us a glimpse into the mind of Kate.

The 27-year-old tells Vanity that the gossip surrounding her family, “eats away at me because it’s just not okay… Some of the crap that’s out there–the stuff that’s said about my parents and my siblings (implying that they didn’t approve of her relationship with Cruise)–it’s really frustrating the amount of s**t that’s out there.

“And the stuff they say about Suri? You shouldn’t say that about us, and you can’t say that about my child.”

Holmes stated that the reason she even reads tabloids is because, “This is my future. This is my family, and I care so much about them.

“To see how someone as caring and good as Tom is–to see how things just get so twisted and turned around. I mean, where does it come from?”

I’m not sure, but I think that’s a pretty silly reason to read what’s out there- from bifurcated tails to faking pregnancies.

When Katie was pregnant with Suri, she said she was humiliated by the media stating, ” (I) was overjoyed being pregnant, and then had to withstand ridicule about my pregnancy when it was the most normal, non-controversial thing imaginable.”

Poor Katie.  But I have to say, she asked for it when she got with the craziest loon in Hollywood, the Cruisester.



‘World Trade Center’ Movie to Donate $1.3 Million



The producers of World Trade Center are making good on their promises to donate five percent of the film’s weekend-box office receipts, kinda small in the longrun, to the September 11th memorial. 

The memorial foundation made an announcement yesterday that the producers of the Oliver Stone movie will be donating $1.3 million.

A further donation of $1.3 million is to be divided between three other 9/11 charities:  Tuesday’s Children, the Tribute WTC Visitor Center & the New York Police and Fire Widows’ and Children’s Benefit Fund. 

It’s great when Hollywood lends a hand.



Penelope Cruz Slams Teen Magazines

cruz_penelope2.jpgIt looks like beauty & actress Penelope Cruz has a soul, so I’m left wondering why she dated Scientologist Tom Cruise.  WhatEv.

The better Cruz has slammed teen magazines for promoting unhealthy role models for young girls.  She says the publications have a “horrific” influence on teenagers & would close them down if she could.

Cruz states, “I would close down all those teenage magazines that encourage young girls to diet. Who says that to be pretty you have to be thin?

“Some people look better thin and some people don’t. For example, I look better when I have three more kilos on me than I do now. The influence of those magazines on girls as young as 13 is horrific. At 13, you are still a child.”

Penelope Cruz wins Soul of the Day.


Rob Schneider Vows to Never Work with Mel Gibson



Former SNL star Rob Schneider has publicly (or as he would say, pubicly) announced that he will never work with Jew-hater & drunkypants Mel Gibson.  Which is most odd, since I feel more people would want to work with anti-Semite Gibson than the Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo Schneider.  I’m not even sure Mel would agree to that anyhoo.

Rob took out an ad Variety, I’m a little surprised he had enough money for that, slamming Gibson for his behavior in a little something he wrote called “An Open Letter to the Hollywood Community.”  Here’s Rob now, enjoy.

Rob Schenider.jpg


Hilary Duff & Her Possible Virginity

Hilary Duff.bmp

Hilary Duff seems to be in some strange waters after denying she told a reporter that she is still a virgin &  insists she would never discuss her sex life for public consumption, sorry guys.

The 18-year-old singer/actress, who is currently dating rocker Joel Madden, has blasted the Elle story & says the story is completely fabricated.  Do I hear a lawsuit in the making?

Here’s what Elle quoted Duff as saying:

“It’s harder having a boyfriend who’s older because people just assume.

“But (virginity) is definitely something I like about myself. It doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about sex, because everyone I know has had it and you want to fit in.”

But Hilary maintains that the June article just isn’t true.

She says, “The thing is that I didn’t say that. I wouldn’t say that. I don’t know how (the writer) got that out of what I said.

“(It’s) definitely not something that I would talk about or that I would want people to focus on. Or that I even think it’s appropriate to talk about. Whose business is that?”

Umm, our Hilary.  Ours.  And all those 14-year-old boys.


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