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Archive for the ‘Paris Hilton’ Category

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Wow.  Who would have thought that hotel heiress Paris Hilton would really face jail time for driving with a suspended license?  This should be an interesting experience.   I wonder if Martha Stewart has any words of wisdom for the club-hopping blonde?

But it looks like Paris isn’t going to go down to her 45-day jail sentence without somewhat of a fight, telling the paparazzi Saturday, “I told the truth yesterday. I feel that I was treated unfairly.

Hilton said the jail sentence at Lynwood Correctional Facility is ”both cruel and unwarranted”.

“I don’t deserve this,” Paris ended.

I dunno.  What do you think, folks?  Does Paris Hilton deserve to go to jail after driving on a suspended license?

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The artist that brought you a Britney Spears giving birth sculpture is now bringing in their dead.  Daniel Edwards has finished his most recent celebrity work, the "Paris Hilton Autopsy" number.  Man, this guy sure does like to get attention with these celebs, doesn't he?

The life-size clay Paris Hilton, with little Tinkerbell by her side, was created by Edwards to counter "the disturbingly glamorized trend of Hollywood's girls gone wild."

Whose lesson is sure to hit home, as Hilton's "removable innards" are laid out on a coroner's table.  So, next time you hear of a Hollywood DUI, just think about this cold, naked & dead Paris Hilton & then wonder, which Paris is the real one?....

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Drunkypants Cameron Diaz was spotted last week leaving none other than Paris Hilton's house completely wasted.

Diaz even needed help from a supposed pal to help her into the back seat of her car.  Wow, must have been one wild night at the Hilton house.

Why are Cam & Paris even friends anyway?  It seems like good ole Cameron would be above that by now.....

What do you think?

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Ummm, something just doesn't seem right about this image of Paris Hilton.

Oh, I know what it is!  Paris isn't showing off her uglies to the cameras.  No wait, that isn't it.....  Oh!  Paris freeking Hilton has boobies!  Now, how did that happen?

Recent images of the socialite have surfaced & it rather looks like this Hilton may have gotten herself a good case of  breast augmentation.

While Paris is denying these rumors, I kinda have to believe them.  Unless there is some very magical bra out there that I am unaware of.

You tell me- Are those babies real or not?

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In a move that probably didn’t surprise anyone, Paris Hilton decided to celebrate the Easter holidays with not only an incognito (not really) brown wig but a pair of cuddly bunny rabbits as well.

Hilton was spotted sporting two small rabbits on her lap over the weekend, whom she apparently stored in her Chanel bag.  Hmmm, I didn’t know that Chanel even made bunny storage bags, did you?

I wonder what Peta thinks about this whole thing, especially since Paris probably opened up her serpent-like mouth at midnight & ate the bunnies whole…. 

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Not many people are digging Paris Hilton these days & it’s just as well if you ask me.  The 25-year-old hotel heiress visited Vienna, Austria Thursday but locals were anxious to get rid of Paris from the get-go.

After Paris had posed for many a picture & started signing only a few autographs (as no one really seemed to care for one), Austrians began pelting Paris with Camel cigarettes & lipsticks.  After seeing some Austrians myself, you would have thought they would at least want to keep hold of that lipstick.

After getting hit with a few too many Mac Hot Tahiti’s, Hilton had had enough & was escorted away by her men in black.  I guess getting hit with cigs & lipwear isn’t really what you’re hoping to find on your European tour.  I would hope more for rose petals & confetti myself.  But what are ya gonna do?  That’s just Paris freeking Hilton for you.

Thanks to Us Weekly for the scoop & image.



Paris Writes Letter to Fans on MySpace

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In response to ParisExposed.com publishing all of her medical secrets as well as a few sex tapes for all the world to see, Paris Hilton constructed a MySpace message on beau Stavros Niarchos’ page.  Here’s what the heiress had to say. 

“Hey,

I’m sure you’ve heard it over the news on on some gossip blog – but, there has been a website that was made. On the website contains personal things, pictures/videos/writings, etc.

Yes, I am ashamed and overly embarrassed about my personal items being put publicly out there. The videos and pictures contain some explicit things, and things I’ve done in the past. PLEASE note that the pictures and videos were from years ago, when I was wild and just partied all the time.

I’m writing this because I want my fans to know that I am no longer that way that is shown on the website. It’s unfortunate that things had to be let out this way, and I am extremely sad that some one would go out of their way just to make me feel low. It just go’s to show that I have people out there to get me for something I haven’t done…& it’s too bad that people treat me in such an unkind and cruel way, when I have done nothing to anyone.

I know that my true fans will stick with me until this goes away. I want to thank those who have been nothing but possitive with this situation.

Love always,
Paris”

The first thing I thought after reading this was, Paris has fans?

You tell me- Did you in any way feel moved by Paris Hilton’s plea to ger “fans”?

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If you ever wondered what would be inside a storage unit rented by Paris Hilton, we now know.  Thanks to ParisExposed.com, who revealed Paris’ belongings worldwide, we can now confirm that not only does Paris Hilton have the dreaded herpes, but she also may have had a miscarriage.

But Hilton isn’t standing for this type of exposure, even though she kinda forgot to pay the rent on the storage unit & that’s how ParisExposed got a hold of her items.  Hilton filed suit on Monday to shut down ParisExposed.com which displays very personal photos, sex tapes & prescription drugs. 

ParisExposed had the great idea of offering visitors a glance at Hilton’s medical records, diary entries & sex tapes for the small fee of $39,97.  Seems reasonable.  What you were subjected to after the fee was paid included:

· A prescription for the herpes medication Valtrex

· A bill for the abortion pill

· Some video footage of Hilton calling Girls Gone Wild czar Joe Francis her “daddy”

· A great photo of Paris & Nicky Hilton, Nicole Richie, Michael Jackson, and some old dude on an oxygen tank (eww)

The Associated Press has reported that the lawsuit states that Hilton put these belongings in a storage unit two years ago when she & sister Nicky were moving out of a house after it had been burglarized.

25-year-old Paris stated that the moving company was suppose to be paying the storage fees & was “shocked and surprised” when she found out that her personal (very) items were sold at public auction.

“I was appalled to learn that people are exploiting my and my sisters’ private personal belongings for commercial gain,” Hilton revealed.

The lawsuit states that the defendants, Nabil & Nabila Haniss, paid some $2,775 for Hilon’s possessions who later sold them for an astounding $10 million to savvy entrepreneur Bardia Persa, who created ParisExposed.com.

Wow.  That’s a hefty price for some prescriptions & sex tapes, wouldn’t you say? 

What do you think?  Does Paris Hilton have a leg to stand on in this lawsuit?

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Thanks to ParisExposed for the great images.



God Help Us, Paris Hilton Still Wants to Act

paris-hilton-acting-1-9-07.jpgParis, Paris, Paris.  Don’t you know that not only are you a terrible singer, you are a horrible actor.  Anyone who has seen House of Wax, can certainly agree with me here.  Now, if you saw One Night in Paris, you may not agree, but I’m willing to take that chance. 

Hotel heiress Paris Hilton  recently told Hello! magazine that she is ready & willing to embark on a serious acting career. 

“I’m serious about acting and I have a bunch of movies lined up,” the 25-year-old delusional Hilton stated.  Yeah, I’ll bet more than half those movies are porns, wouldn’t you think?

Apparently (laugh, laugh) Paris has even been reading The Power of the Actor by Ivana Chubbuck, acclaimed acting coach, so she must be serious about something.  I don’t think Paris reads unless her life depends on it, she’s more of a picture-looker.  Maybe she has a “special” edition of Chubbuck.

“I think I can become a good actress,” Hilton goes on to state.

“It’s something I want to prove to myself and to other people. I feel I’m getting better and feeling more confident about what I can do as an actress.”

Yes, what you can do as an actress.  I’ll give you the porn gamut, but I just don’t think The Pursuit of Happyness or any other serious role is your gig, babe.

You tell me- Does Pairs Hilton have a chance in hell to become a serious actress?

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They’re Back: Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie Pictures

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We all knew they would get back together, it was just a matter of time. Paris Hilton & newly-renewed BFF Nicole Richie reunited (and it feels so good) in West Hollywood’s Dan Tana’s restaurant on Sunday.

Here’s what I’m hoping: Paris can help Nicole rediscover food & Nicole can help Paris rediscover un-hoebag-like-behavior. It’s a lot to ask, but there’s always that little thing called hope.



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