Can anyone takeÂ socialite Paris Hilton seriously in this hilarious picture?Â I mean,Â come on, shiny black pair ofÂ stilettos, leopard print swimsuit with puppy in suit to match.Â And to top off the ridiculous cake, Paris is apparently trying to put a pink surfboard in the back seat of her Bentley.
Seems like if anyone needs help these days, it’s Paris.Â At least in the surfing department that is.Â Par Par looks like Barbie out there on the California waves, and spills over just as easily.
It’s amazing how some folks can look like theirÂ pets without even trying.
Here, Paris Hilton was spotted casually sticking out her tongueÂ on the beach near her Malibu home.Â I guess the heiress was trying to speak teacup?Â
My god, all that money growing up & this is what you get?Â Jeez, I would have thought money could have bought you smarts, but doesn’t look like that’s the case here at airy Pairy land.
Hrmmm, I think I might need a t-shirt with my own mug on it, so folks know I mean business, serious business.Â
Ex-con & socialite Paris Hilton was spotted Tuesday sporting a tee with her own face gracing the front, apparently the
lady just can’t get enough of herself.
Hilton was seen leaving the Ole Henriksen spa in West Hollywood where she spent the afternoon enjoyingÂ aÂ massage & Hawaiian sugar scrub.
Paris, you should know by now dearie, that how ever much sugar scrub you put on that bod of yours, you’re never going to be very sweet…
Back from Hawaii & after a post that told her fans the wise thing to do on July 4th was to not drink & drive, Paris Hilton gets to her shopping.
Hilton was spotted with her sister Nicky on Tuesday for a bit of post-jail shopping.Â The Hiltons hit Fred Segal in Santa Monica & then tucked in a spot of lunch.
It’s nice to see that jail didn’t take the shopping out of our little trooper Paris.
And according to TMZ, it might actually exist!Â Apparently the couple were having some hard core sex in a Jacuzzi in Mexico & a source is revealing that the sceneÂ was of Paris Hilton sex tape fame.Â Now that’s hot!Â Can’t wait for this one, and the lawsuits that normally follow….
As you can see, Britney Spears was spotted pulling a Paris Hilton this weekend & was checking out a Chihuahua puppy at a Los Angeles pet store.Â If you can’t take care of two kids, Brit, don’t think you have an ounce of time for the pup…
Recently, Britney made a statement that she was at odds with her mother Lynne, saying, “I’m praying for her right now. [I hope] she gets all the help she needs.”Â Â Well, that’s a little brazen, now, isn’t it?
Lynne responded by stating, “I’ve got a strong family, and everything is going to be fine.”Â Hrmmm, doesn’t sound like the two are cuddly buddies, now does it?
It’s summertime for us & the stars.Â While I’m not likely to be able to afford Maui with Paris Hilton, maybe I can scrape together some Malibu funds.
Newly single Denise Richards was spotted Wednesday soaking up the rays with 2-year-old daughter Lola on the beaches of Malibu.Â You know, whenever I see a pic of Denise, I just see a crazy person.Â Anyone else suffering from this condition as well?
Unlike many released jailbirds,Â privilegedÂ incognito ParisÂ Hilton arrived in Maui Friday afternoon.
After an hour of “work” with Larry King, Hilton flew off to the tropical location to get away from it all.Â Looks like Paris & Britney Spears are still pals, as that wig looks like it came right out of the Spears wig collection….
“I have got to tell you, if part of being a celebrity is creating a mystique about somebody, sheâ€™s destroying it every time she opens that lip-glossed mouth of hersâ€
After aÂ 23-day jail stint, hotel heiress Paris Hilton is finally free to eat atÂ her favorite Taco Bell any timeÂ she chooses, which is whatÂ she was craving when she exited Lynwood jail shortly after midnight on Tuesday.
Hilton left prisonÂ after losing nearly ten pounds during her stay, but I’m sure Taco Bell can help her get past that.Â Paris’ parents were on hand to pick up the socialite & the reunion was a happy one.
I guess we’re back to a Paris in the real world kinda place.Â Not sure which one I liked best…
Jailbird socialiteÂ Paris Hilton was able to visit with her parents TuesdayÂ afternoon.Â Rick & KathyÂ Hilton came a-calling yesterday amid a sea of paparazzi &Â enjoyed a 30-minuteÂ visit with theirÂ daughter between bullet-proof glass.Â
“She’s weepy,” daddy Rick revealed, “but she’s doing the best she can. It’s hard, but she’s hanging in there.”
Upon leaving the Twin Towers, mama Kathy stated, “It is what it is. [Paris] wants to just do her time, and get on.”
Hilton’s next visiting hours will be Sunday.Â I think ole Paris should hold a contest for who can visit her that day, I bet there’s one or two of you out there that wouldn’t mind the glass…
“I told him what prompted this is the feeling that … there is an unfairness in how reassignment and early releases have been meted out.”
~Reverend Al SharptonÂ on Paris Hilton’s early release from her first jail experience
So, we’ve finally all learned what the heck has been causing Paris Hilton to receive special treatment during her jail stays, freekingÂ Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD for shortsies.
Apparently Hilton’s case causes her to suffer bouts of claustrophobia, not such a positive thing for jailbids, as well as panic attacks.Â
Although Paris is taking Adderall for her affliction, Hilton still suffers the pangs of panic as well as fearing being in small, cramped spaces.Â Damn, seems like she should have thought about that before driving with a suspended license…
PoorÂ Paris Hilton,Â the hotelÂ heiress thoughtÂ sheÂ had it made in the shade when sheÂ wasÂ released from jail early last week.Â ButÂ the princess isÂ back in jail where her condition is monitoredÂ 24/7 at the Twin Towers Correctional Facility in L.A.
While Hilton’s medical condition has yet to be released, Paris is being given plenty of care.Â Twin Towers features several doctors & nurses that are assigned to each floor of the jail that, I am sure, is their dream to take care of such a loving & kind patient.
Well, a lot happened yesterday while I was being felt-up at the doctor’s office.Â It looks like Paris Hilton’s charms have apparently worked on someone as the princess was released from jail early on Thursday & placed under house arrestÂ due to”Â psychological reasons.”Â Yeah, how ’bout she was driving everyone crazy?!
After serving just three little nights in jail, privileged Paris was sent home because the staff could not administer her prescribed medication. What, they don’t know how to serve up Valtrex?
Reportedly Hilton was visited by her psychiatrist (who is probably making loads on this arrangement), Dr. Charles Sophy, three times.Â Sophy was a witness for Paris at her court hearing who stated that the heiress was too distraught to be sent to jail.
Well, Paris wasn’t too sad to do jumping jacks & Pilates in her cell all day……
Well, it looks like the tide mayÂ have turned for our little jalbird Paris Hilton.Â Despite her somewhat brave attitude onÂ her first day in jail,Â Paris seems now scared.
On Tuesday, Paris is reported to have been heard crying on the phone & saying that she’s not sleeping well or eating.Â Hilton also revealed that her cell was “freezing cold”, as she has only three little blankets, one of which she is having to use as a pillow.Â Quick,Â someone send the princess some proper down-comforters!
Paris’ cell mates appear to be not that scary, although they did break out in a chant of “Paris! Paris! Paris!” as the hotel heiress walked by.
Hilariously, there is already an eBay auction up for a jump suit that was supposedly worn by Paris.Â It’s only been two days & already an eBay auction.Â Wonder what will be next, Paris’ wee blankets?
Will the realÂ Paris Hilton please step forward?Â WhileÂ ourÂ true Paris is living it up in a small jail cell,Â her wax versionÂ is jailing it up old school.
Madame Tussaud’s in New York got in the spirits of things & added a nice, new & fitting wardrobe for Paris’ dummy.Â I wonder if she’s wearing undies….