Enough with the sad Hollywood tales of drug overdoses and nervous breakdowns.

Let’s look at the glamorous and fun side of the celebrity scene — and no one does glamour better than these people. Madonna (remember when we thought she was a bad girl? she looks lke Mother Teresa compared to Britney) threw a star studded benefit for UNICEF, co-sponsored by Gucci. Next to here are the power couple Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, and Madonna’s now 11 year old daughter, Lourdes. Rosie O’Donnell’s there, too — though she won’t be touching the alcohol; she says she’s quit drinking.

You can probably guess who made it to Maxim’s
List of ”Sexiest Celebs” — like Charlize Theron and Jessica Alba. But guess who they slammed on their “Unsexiest” list?

 Sarah Jessica Parker was declared the “least sexiest girl in a group of very unsexy women” (guess she’s not getting sex in this city). Amy Winehouse made it to No. 2 thanks to her “hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat’s nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats.” Sandra Oh of Grey’s Anatomy was called “boyish” while Madonna and Britney (who were once thought the sexiest women of their generation) were declared either “self-righteous” or just nuts.

Watch out Israel, the material girl & her posse are heading your way!

Madonna & pals Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher & Donna Karan are fleeing the Sunset Strip for the Holy Land this week.  Madge plans on spending the Jewish holidays with her Kabbalah buddies & maybe a handful of Israeli soldiers as well. 

So, I guess there’s only one thing left to say, Shana tovah!

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We may have figured out the reason Britney Spears’ MTV VMA performance was so shabby & seemingly horrible.  Apparently Brit could not take her eyes off herself, as she was watching the whole terrible ordeal live on video.

The 25-year-old star left the Video Music Award stage crying, “Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!”  Poor little dear.  I’m afraid she might actually have something there.

I think Britney just needs some good mentoring time with Madonna, don’t you?

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Poor little ole Madonna, pal Angelina Jolie just made this whole adoption thing look easy, didn’t see?

Madonna & hubby Guy Ritchie took 13-month-old David Banda out of an orphanage in Malawi back in October of last year with plans on adopting the young child once all the papers & waiting periods were complete.

But now Malawi officials are coming to visit the family to make sure they are suitable parents for the now 22-month-old boy.  So, you tell me, do you think Madonna is a good enough mum for David?

Pop queen Madonna dissed her baby’s daddy this weekend.  That’s kinda funny, seeing as how she reportedly agreed to a meeting with her adopted son David Banda’s biological father.

The trio were supposed to meet-up on Saturday, but a source at the Home of Hope orphanage in Malawi siad that the meeting was called off, and no reason given.

Ironically, Madonna was to meet with Nelson Mandela in South Africa after her visit with David’s father, but his people told her people that Mandela was just a wee too busy to see her.  Ha!  Karma’s a bitch, eh?

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“Sometimes you have to be a bitch to get things done.�

~Madonna

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As wee reported earlier this week, Madonna’s former nanny Melissa Dumas was planning on writing a tell all book about her time as the pop queen’s nanny.

But the memoir, “Live to Tell: My Life as Madonna’s Nannyâ€�, doesn’t look like it’s going to live another day.  While Dumas is still breathing, it appears as if the publisher has backed out of the deal.

Publisher Lindsey Moore at Crown Publishing had plans to publish the memoir by late September but has now backed out of the deal, leaving poor old nanny Melissa in the cold. 

Wow, that didn’t take too long to work itself out for Madonna, did it?  I’ve always said Madonna is a good witch.

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48-year-old Madonna might have a little something extra to worry about, other than the fact that she doesn’t know how to buckle in adopted son David Banda.

Madonna’s former nanny Melissa Dumas plans to write a tell all memoir on her time as the material girl’s nanny.  The title of the book is tentatively being called, “Live to Tell: My Life as Madonna’s Nanny”.

Wow.  Live to Tell, huh?  Do some of Madge’s nannies not live to tell about the gruesome events going on in her & husband Guy Ritchie’s home?

According to the publisher of the book, the memoir “will detail, from the nanny’s perspective, what home life is like for the Material Girl and her director husband, Guy Ritchie.”

Dumas is working with another writer on the book & hopes to see the book in print by September, if she indeed lives to tell the tale.

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One of the bad things about being a celebrity is that you’re photographed doing just about everything from driving to taking a jog.  The good thing about it is that we get to see just about everything they do, except I’m still waiting on image of Jessica Alba taking a bath…

Anyhoo, Madonna was spotted recently pulling a Britney Spears.  Nope. she didn’t shave her head & gets lips tattooed to her wrist, the queen of pop did not even use a car seat recently while adopted son David Banda was in the car.

Apparently on March 2, the 48-year-old mom was snapped taking off in her Escalade ESV without even buckling-up her 17-month-old David. 

“There was no car seat,” an insider reveals.

“She sat in the middle row, and they left with David on her lap.”

Reps for the singer insist that “proper security measures are always taken for Madonna’s children.”

Ummm, well, from the looks of this image, reps, I’m going to have to disagree.

Here’s hoping that Madonna doesn’t do any more of this following in Britney Spears’ footsteps business.  I just don’t think I could handel a bald Madonna, could you?

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