Sometimes I question if there is a time a celebrity is walking down the red carpet and the paparazzi simply have no idea who the hell they are so they have to ask them and write it on a note card just so the caption on the picture doesn’t say “Jane Doe”. I’m sure it happens all the time, but do you think it happens every single time Cavallari is walking down the red carpet? I think it does. How embarrassing would that be?

You have to figure these The Hills stars believe they really are global icons. They prepare for these events as if they are opening a Summer blockbuster. Is that ever the case? Lazy Eyes was in Sorority Row, but I can only assume that was for a short time because she is the one that gets hacked to pieces. As for the rest of them? Failed TV shows, failed clothing lines, failed relationships and failed plastic surgeries. A lot of failed plastic surgeries to be exact.

A quick sidenote, if you didn’t hear, Failed Fake Plastic Surgery Girl is now ready to show her nipples in Playboy. I’m shocked and appalled at this recent development and I will gorge myself in a mountain of CocoPuffs. True story.

Back to what’s her name. You see that? I don’t even remember her name and I am talking about her. These paparazzi definitely have to ask for her name when she strolls down the red carpet looking like there is a limbo stick in front of her. The nerve of these people.