Kevin Federline’s lawyer says he’s “happy” that Britney has gotten some of her act together. “Before, it wasn’t a question of what was going to happen, but when,” he says. But he says that reports that she’s fully recovered are premature.

“Jamie is doing a really good job,” he says, refering to her father. “There was a situation and that seems to be stabilized. Does that mean she’s cured? Of course not.”

Oh, my. Britney Spears — who has about $100 million in assets — is stuck to a measly$1,500-a-week allowance which she has to get via a debit card.

What the hell? Okay, so her property’s under conservatorship, but what would merit cutting off her access to her own cash? (What — so her Dad can spend more of it?)

Well if that’s the case, Kevin’s got to shoulder some of the legal fees, her lawyer argues. After all, who can you hire with $1,500 a month?

While ex wife Britney usually gets the spotlight, now it’s Kevin Federline’s turn to talk .

And no, he doesn’t have a British accent.

The judge in Britney Spears’ custody battle has found that ” there is a habitual, frequent, and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol by (Britney).”  RuRoh!

Judge Scott Gordon has now ruled that Brit will have ”to undergo testing for the use of controlled substances and alcohol.”  Apparently the testing will occur twice a week, randomly.  RuRoh!

Looks like Britney may not get the kids after all…..

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Jeez, this whole Britney Spears / Kevin Federline divorce crap is almost turning into a David Hasselhoff / Pamela Bach situation, and you know that that’s never a good compliment.

Brit’s ex-manager Larry Rudolph must feel the same way & has basically gone into hiding, hoping to avoid being served with papers to appear as a witness for the couple’s custody hearings. 

Doing his best to dodge a subpoena, Rudolph has released the following statement:

“Despite the things that Britney has publicly said about our relationship in the past, I truly understand where she’s coming from and why she’s said the things she said about me post-rehab and I don’t take it personally. As her former manager, I know and understand Britney better than anyone, I know what makes her tick and I understand everything she’s going through.

“With that being said, my loyalty will always stay strong with Britney. I have consulted with my lawyers and I do understand that eventually the time will come when they will find me, but until then, I’m trying to avoid being brought into this mess. She’s going through so much right now and I wish Britney the best.”

Well, it looks like Larry is sticking with Team Britney & for that I think I’m rather proud of the man, or fool, though the case may soon show….

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As Kevin Federline prepares for his guest appearance on ”One Tree Hill”, I wonder if anyone really wants to see more of the K-Fed.

I mean, isn’t everyone just about over this redneck turned rapper?  There’s only room enough for one of these greasy fellows & unless you’re willing to give up Kid Rock, we’ve got some problems.

You tell me, are you tired of K-Fed?

Britney Spears was all about pouting after dinner at Cravings Monday night.  The rocker was seen sporting a green mini at the trendy restaurant while toting the kids around town.

The word on the street for Brit’s pouting is that over the weekend, Spears found out that ex-husband Kevin Federline is subpoenaing some of her people, including her longtime bodyguard, to testify in the custody hearing for their two children.

Man, this is going to get bloody, isn’t it?

Well, it looks like it ain’t over till it’s over, ya’ll.  Kevin Federline & attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan filed documents on Wednesday evening to gain more custody to K-Fed than was originally awarded in the Britney Spears divorce settlement.

The papers were filed in Los Angeles at 4:15pm by a very pleased-with-himself Federline.  The documents & contents are under seal, but it appears as if the petition is questioning the decision to make Brit the primary caregiver of 23-month-old Preston & 11-month-old Jayden James.

Hmm, I guess we’ll just have to wait & see about this one.  With Britney making more of a spectacle of herself these days, who knows what the courts will decide….

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Okay, ya’ll.  With Britney Spears’ attorney & Kevin Federline’s lawyer meeting up on Monday to finalize the divorce & settlement proceedings, I’m curious all over.

Who got the kids?  Spears’ lawyer asked the judge to keep the custody & child support payment under wraps, which he has agreed to, but we need to know the goods.  I guess we’ll just have to speculate.  So, who got Sean Preston & Jayden James?  You tell me!

Well, I don’t know if anyone still wants her, but Britney crazypants Spears is once again free & clear as a Los Angeles judge has signed her divorce decree.  No going back, Brit.  You & good ole Kevin Federline can now go about your separate lives, thank god!

Britney’s attorney Laura Wasser as well as K-Fed’s lawyer showed up in court Monday to present settlement papers, I’m sure we’ll be hearing more about what transpired soon, except that Wasser made a motion to keep the custody & child support details a secret on the grounds that making the info public could possibly damage their two children Sean Preston & Jayden James.

And I’m thinking that that might mean Brit didn’t do so hot, but what do ya’ll think?

Crotchflasher Britney Spears has a new look in town.  We’re calling in the widow hooker look, whatcha think?

Apparently Spears isn’t just walking around the city in this outfit, she’s putting a music video together for her song “Get Back.”  Hopefully the video will bring back a little something that we actually saw in Brit several years ago.

You know, before the whole head shaving, K-Fed-loving, ranting & raving Britney took over.  Here’s hoping for a stellar performance!

 

Well, it looks like no one wants to live in the shoes of Britney Spears.  The singer is having a spot of trouble selling off her Malibu mansion & has recently had to cut the asking price of the property from $13.5 million to $11.9 million.  Oucharoo!

The 7 bedroom, 1.53-acre estate has been on the market for going on three months now & it appears as if Spears is ready to sell & quick. 

Brit purchased the home back in late October 2004, right after ruining her life by marrying Kevin Federline, so it’s no wonder the pop princess wants to sell this bugger off.  Any takers?

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Good ole Britney Spears was spotted out & about Thursday night at the Bridge restaurant.  Spears hit the town soon after signing divorce settelment papers with estranged husband Kevin Federline.

Although details of the agreement have not been released, it looks like Brit had something to celebrate last night.  But maybe she was celebrating the fact that she doesn’t have to raise those kids of hers after all……

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Thursday was a big day for Britney Spears & estranged hubby Kevin Federline.  After a five-hour long meeting, it looks like the duo have reached as well as signed a divorce agreement. 

“All parties signed a global settlement agreement on all issues concerning their marriage and custody of their two children,” a spokesman for K-Fed revealed.

We’re not clear on the details of the agreement as of yet, $1 million agreement as well as 50/50 custody have been leaked but not verified.

But you tell me, do you think Brit is a good enough mother to have full custody of sons Sean Preston & Jayden James?

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Despite the fact that 29-year-old Kevin Federline is spending some time with his 25-year-old estranged wife Britney Spears in Promises rehab center, doesn’t mean that the couple are thinking about rekindling their redneck love, thank the gods above.  While Brit is rebounding on fellow rehaber Jason Filyaw, K-Fed is busy sending his posse to interviews apparently.

A team Federline pal revealed to Us Weekly that Brit basically came crawling back for K-Fed after the shit hit the fan, but who really believes that, I ask you?

 ”I talked to Kevin about Britney and he said he’s not getting back together with Britney. At least not right now. He just wants to be a friend for her,” the insider stated.

“She has told him she would get back with him, but he’s trying to just do the right thing for everyone right now, but he doesn’t want to go back there again.”

Yeah, “pal”, I’m just having a problem swallowing that load of crap.  If Britney went back on her knees to K-Fed then she is way more messed up in the head that I had thought.  So, let’s just go with gut instinct on that one & say Brit would never so such a terrible thing.

At least Spears is reportedly having a better time in rehab this week, naming her rehab boytoy, Jason Filyaw, “Mr. Secret Underground Guyâ€� & “J-Sun”, while Brit answers by the names “Sugar,â€� “Kittenâ€� & “My Lady.”  Gagamaggot!  Where’s the closest trash can?  I think I’m going to be sick, very sick.

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Guess who’s back in rehab?  If you guessed Mel Gibson, you’re heart’s in the right place, but the answer is wrong.  Britney crazypants Spears thought she would give rehab a second third chance.

Remember that emergency custody hearing we reported about yesterday that was suppose to happen Thursday morning thanks to estranged husband Kevin Federline?  Well, it looks like that was actually postponed since 25-year-old Britney decided to return to Promises Malibu Treatment Center by Wednesday night.  Maybe this third swing into rehab will be the one that will stick.  Quick, someone throw honey all over Brit so she’ll be too sticky to leave Promises again!

According to gossip giant TMZ, this is supposedly Spears’ last chance to get her damn life together.  If Brit decides to take off from rehab once more before actually completing the treatment (which usually lasts longer than 24 hours), 28-year-old K-Fed will be able to seek unquestioned full custody of their children, 17-month-old Sean Preston & 5-month-old Jayden James.  The inpatient rehab program is generally around 30 to 45 days long.

According to Federline’s attorney, ”There was never a hearing officially scheduled and there’s not going to be a hearing today from what I understand. Kevin remains a very focused father.”

A public information director for the Los Angeles Superior Court, stated that there had been “an inquiry” made to the court clerk Wednesday, but did not confirm who had made the inquiry.

“The person who made the inquiry was told they would be accommodated.  However, nothing was ever officially filed,” the director stated.

A team Federline insider revealed that just because Spears entered rehab, doesn’t necessarily mean that K-Fed’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, won’t get into the custody battle with armor on, saying, ”Mark Vincent Kaplan is no shrinking violet.”

In the meantime, good ole crazypants Brit apparently turned up at K-Fed’s house Wednesday night where she rang the doorbell three times, but was not let inside the home.  Reportedly Britney then stormed off, to later be found reporting in at Promises rehab center with her bodyguard along.

Whew!  What a crazy ride this has been.  Let’s see if Britney can’t spend at least two nights in the rehab center.  I’m really rooting for Brit to do it right this time.  We’re pulling for you, crazypants.  Stay strong.

You tell me- How long do you think that Britney Spears can stay in Promises rehab center this go-round?

Thanks to Us Weekly for the scoop & the crazypants Spears image.

As we all know by now, Britney crazypants Spears has left Malibu’s Promises Treatment Center, after less than 24 hours in the rehab facility.  This is the second damn time that Brit has entered rehab & then left after under a day of treatment.  Well, at least estranged husband Kevin Federline & team K-Fed have the two kids covered. 

Jeez, predicting crazypants’ next move is like hitting a dart board covered in an L.A. map.  Brit might go shave her head at a shabby salon, she might go get some more tattoos, she might go into another rehab center or Britney might even visit some high-powered attorneys on Wednesday.

Yep, that’s just what Spears did after leaving the Promises rehab center.  25-year-old Spears was spotted at the law offices of high-powered attorneys Tarlow & Berk, the same duo that represented Mel Gibson on that DUI last year.  And believe you me, you really don’t want to have a lot in common with the Gibson, am I right?  Britney was seen sitting in the passenger seat of a blue Mercedes outside the office talking on her cell phone, while her cousin Allie Sims was apparently sobbing quite visibly.

One eyewitness to the scene stated, “Brit smoked cigarettes and talked on the phone while Allie had tears streaming down her face. Brit just has a blank look on her face.”

Apparently after all the crying was done & the cell phone had lost its apparent appeal, Spears left the law office around 2pm yesterday, where she was driven & dropped off at the Hotel Bel Air, on Hollywood’s Sunset Strip.  Yeah, that’s a great place to avoid the public eye.  Take Brit to the Hotel Bel Air.  Great idea.

A team Spears member stated that Brit is not doing so hot & is wearing the same pants she’s had on since Sunday, saying, “Britney has worn the same brown jeans since Sunday, because she has no credit cards or cash. She is basically on the run at the moment.

Which kinda makes me wonder how she’s going to take care of the bill at the Bel Air… 

Poor old gal, Britney needs some serious help & I’m quite serious myself about that citizen’s arrest I mentioned earlier.  If you see Brit, arrest the damn crazypants woman & take her to the nearest looneybin where she can get the help she so obviously needs. 

At this point, I just don’t think I can see a comeback album, but maybe good ole Brit can pull it off.  Any way you look at it, the Britney Spears sensation is losing its appeal.

You tell me- Is there hope for Britney Spears regaining a hold on reality as well as on her career?

Thanks to Us Weekly for the scoop & the crazypants image.

 

As Britney Spears left rehab for a second time Wednesday, after spending less than 24 hours in the Promises rehab center, estranged husband Kevin Federline has been working behind the scenes to not only care for their two sons, but to also take custody away from the unraveling Spears.

28-year-old Federline & his mother, with Brit’s mom Lynne, have joined up forces to aid K-Fed in caring for 17-month-old Sean Preston & 5-month-old Jayden James.  Looks like team Federline may be winning this round, which I don’t think many people would have forecasted, though it looks like player Kevin isn’t holding up too well.  

According to a K-Fed pal, Kevin may be cracking up himself, “He is beyond sad.”

“This is the worst week of his entire life. He doesn’t even want to pick up the phone. Things are beyond not well with Britney, and he still loves her.”

He still loves her, eh?  That is interesting & I’m not quite sure if I believe that statement, ole pal.

But don’t underestimate Federline, as he has asked for an emergency custody hearing Thursday in front of a Los Angeles judge. 

According to a team Federline insider, Kevin made a call to his mother Julie Bleak on Valentine’s Day asking for her help in caring for the children.  Mamma Bleak flew to L.A. the following day, the same day actually that 25-year-old Spears checked into the first rehab center.  Louisiana native, Lynne Spears, has also been helping K-Fed care for the children, aiding in round-the-clock care with the Federlines.

A team Spears source revealed that Brit has been thankful for Kevin taking care of the kids, as she doesn’t want to scare them in her current condition, saying, “Britney’s family feels that Kevin has been a blessing and they are very impressed with Kevin taking so much responsibility.”

“Britney’s family found out from the news this morning that Britney had left the rehab. Britney has not asked to see the kids because she knows she is not well and she does not want to scare Preston. She has no credit cards or cash. She is basically on the run at the moment.”

Woman on the run…….  Team Spears really needs to seek some damn mental health.  If anyone sees a bald Brit on the streets, you are freeking obliged to send her, in cuffs if you have to, to the nearest mental health center.  Team Spears is losing, folks, we cannot let this continue.  Poor Britney, she’s so totally lost right now & is acting so bipolar.  Chin up, crazypants Brit.

Photo Credit (bringing back an oldie, but a goodie)

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With Kevin Federline’s new ad for Nationwide Insurance coming along this Super Bowl weekend, Taco Bell thought they might as well offer K-Fed a job as well.

Taco Bell’s president, Greg Creed, is offering 28-year-old Federline to run for the border for a one-hour shift.  Creed even went so far as to promise to give K-Fed some free grub if he decides to accept the invitation.  Ha!  Hilarious.  Here’s the letter:

“Dear Mr. Federline,

First off, congratulations on your upcoming Super Bowl ad. We heard it’s generating a lot of talk, particularly about working in the fast food industry.

We know you respect those who work in our business. In fact, last year you said in an interview, “My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is. You don’t have it easy with me. Period. My kids are going to work at Taco Bell.”

We’re flattered, but obviously they’re too young to work for us. So here’s our offer to you: Come work for us, just for a one hour shift. We’ll get you a uniform, a custom name tag and show you what a great place Taco Bell is to work. We’ll even reward customers who visit that restaurant with an order of our new Carne Asada Steak Grilled Taquitos for free.

We encourage you to continue to “Think Outside the Bun” and hope you accept our tasty offer.

Sincerely,
Greg Creed
President
Taco Bell Corp.”

As of yet there is no word from team Federline if he intends to accept the mission.  But I’ll bet he doesn’t get another one quite as silly as this one again.  I love it.  I can just imagine K-Fed saying, ”Can I take your order?” 

Thanks to Us Weekly for the images.

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