So the story goes like this, John Mayer goes to Butter nightclub in NYC. Lindsay Lohan goes to Butter nightclub in NYC. Samantha Ronson is DJing at Butter nightclub in NYC. Do I even need to finish?

Lindsay sat at John’s table. John worked some moves with Samantha and got her to come join his table. The three had a great time and went their separate ways…or did they? Have you ever known John Mayer to pass up on a piece of the pie? Have you known Lindsay Lohan to miss eating the last sausage on the grill?

This is what came from their Twitter accounts that fateful night.

@johncmayer shhhhhhhhhhhhhh butter-face

@lindsaylohan

I’ve got to finish boning my mistress early so that I can go home and explain to my kid that he’s lost a role model. What a shame.

@johncmayer

Now I’m not saying they boned, but they had sex. Please do not bother to reach the CDC in Atlanta because the whole facility has been relocated to New York to handle the STD apocalypse. The Mayans believed the world would end in 2012 through natural disasters. This is completely and utterly false. The world will end when the orgy of Lindsay Lohan, John Mayer, Paris Hilton, Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt and Carrot Top has reached its pinnacle and giant crab-like monsters roam the Earth.

I will be safely stowed away in my Trojan covered bunker. Did you know Twinkies last forever?

If you really care to follow these events, Celebitchy has much more info.

If sources are right, then Jen and John are a couple again! Goodbye Gerard Butler! Goodbye Bradley Cooper!

A source close to Jennifer Aniston says that you won't see her dating normal guys; that what she does is to go after the hottest guy at the moment, so that she will get herself in the limelight. Think Brad Pitt, John Mayer, Bradley Cooper, and Gerard Butler. I think, it's circumstantial evidence at best. I think that someone might be having a little spat with Jennifer and feels like getting back at her, but then again, I have been wrong many times.

Don't ask me what kind of fun, except that Scheana Marie simply said that. Rumors are going around that she and John Mayer are dating. They're not "together" but they're having fun, OK.

Again? This pair has been going on and off for as long as we can remember. Rumors are going around that the couple have – again – split after Jen came back from Europe to promote Marley and Me. Sources say that it is John who dumped Jen. Poor girl!

The couple threw all inhibition to the air as the paparazzi snapped photos away on their double date night. Jen & John are normally reserved in public but that night, it seemed that they didn’t care that the whole world was watching them as they showed their affection for each other. Happy for them!

But reports are now starting to come out that as part of Aniston’s condition to take back Mayer, she made him promise that they will get married.

Is there such a term as a shotgun proposal?

There are reports that the two of them were seen kissing in Los Angeles two days ago. A reconciliation after Mayer basically pratted on about how they broke up? Only in Hollywood I tell you.

Bad move, John. Sources say that John Mayer’s lost a lot of his publicity appeal now that Jennifer Aniston’s gone. What, you thought people just wanted to see more of you?! Yeah, right. No wonder Jennifer looks sooooo happy. Loss of celebritydom is the best revenge.

John Mayer speaks up on the break up with Jennifer Aniston. No, it’s not what people think — no ugly cat fights or third parties. Just no chemistry.

He seemed emotional, nervous and sad. “She is one of the smartest, most sophisticated women I know.”

So is it true? Have John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston split up?

Multiple sources have confirmed it, with one adding that “they are in different places in their life.” That’s funny. Jennifer Aniston’s done nothing but go to his concerts since they started dating in April.

No wonder Jennifer Aniston goes to all of John Mayer’s concerts — the singer candidly admitted that he had once hooked up with a fan.

Well folks, the word on the street by a pimp named Slim is that John Mayer & surfer girl Cameron Diaz might be trying to get into each other’s pants.

The rumors are flying that Mayer & Diaz were seen enjoying a romantic dinner in New York City earlier this week.  The duo were spotted cozying up & doing  their fair share of canoodling. 

While it’s always super crazy exciting when new couples develop, I think I’m going to have to wait on some hot images before I can believe this one.  But go ahead & tell me, what would you think of the team-up?

“To the 46 people accused of underage drinking [at one of his concerts]; what were you thinking? You have your whole life to engage in underage drinking. What’s the hurry?

“I didn’t start underage drinking until I was 26. Underage drinking is not an function of age, but of style. And you kids are way too young to truly appreciate the nuances of true underage drinking.”

~John Mayer

What a joker, that one…

Well, it appears as if the on again off again relationship between John Mayer & Jessica Simpson is once again off.  The duo tried to work out their differences recently on a trip to Cabo San Lucas, which should obviously cure everything, but to no avail. 

A Mayer insider revealed, “It has been rocky and it had been rocky, and it reached the end of the road.”

“It is definitely over – the relationship has ended.”

Team Simpson states, “They broke up Sunday night, but who knows what the future will hold.”

“This is the twelfth time they’ve broken up. Their relationship is volatile. Last week they felt better than ever. This week, things are rocky. Who knows what the future will bring. ”

I’m not sure the adjective ‘volatile’ is really the way you want your relationship to be described…. These two should maybe think about just moving on, you tell me.

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Fresh from Cannes, Jessica Simpson was spotted on the streets of Manhattan Monday sporting a Rolling Stones t-shirt.

Simpson was going it alone on the streets, but managed to squeeze in a date with her on again-off again beau John Mayer on Sunday.  What’s going to come of these two?

I’m thinking splitsville for good.  I just can’t see love & marriage for this couple, can you?

Photo Credit

Well folks, it looks like hot item John Mayer & Jessica Simpson have actually called it quits, but you know how those guys are, they’ll probably be back together by Memorial Day. 

According to an insider, the couple broke up because, ”[John] was just over her. He wasn’t into her anymore. He was ready to move on.”

While another source added, “Jessica and John are done. She is really bummed, but wants to put her best foot forward and continue being out and about. She is just having fun and not interested in any new boys.”

Either way, I bet we haven’t heard the last of Johnica.

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Now public lovebirds Jessica Simpson & John Mayer seem to be showing up just about everywhere these days in front of a camera.

On Saturday Simpson & Mayer were seen arriving in Australia where Mayer will be touring for almost two weeks.  It looks like these two can’t get enough of each other.  I wonder what the once single man Mayer thinks of having a traveling companion/girlfriend tagging along for the tours?

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In hilarious Jessica Simpson style, the actress didn’t pack light to join her beau on the European leg of his Continuum tour.  Upon arrival to Rome’s airport, porters had to lug more than five heavy suitcases into the back of a chauffeur-driven vehicle.

This has not been the first trip to Italy for Jess, as she & former husband Nick Lachey visited Tuscany in a last-ditch effort to save their marriage, they announced their official split a month later.  I guess Italy doesn’t heal all wounds, eh?

Apparently though, the trip hasn’t reminded the starlet of any bad memories, Simpson & Mayer have been all smiles during their Roman holiday.  The couple seemed to be enjoy themselves, and all their damn bags as well, when they check into their $2,000-a-night suite at Hotel De Russie, which is where you stay in Rome if you’re either a celeb or royalty, which is basically the same anyway.

After spending about two hours settling into their accommodations, probably took that long to lug all their suitcases up to their suite I would imagine, Jess & John dined at a Tom Cruise favorite for lunch, Dal Bolognese.

The duo were spotted spending more than two hours enjoying pasta & salad as they took some time looking over guide books. 

“They were smiling and laughing and just having a good time.  There was also a lot of hand holding going on,” an insider reveals.

After a long lunch Simpson & Mayer did some window shopping along the infamous Via del Corso where the couple stopped into Fendi & reportedly made several purchases.  Guess Jess is going to have to buy a new suitcase….

On the way back to the hotel that evening, in a scene right out of a Hollywood romantic comedy, Jess took a spill in the cobbled streets, but was able to get back up, laughing along the way.

Wow, now that’s how you should see Rome.  With a laughing Jessica Simpson, falling all over herself, and with more luggage than you know what to do with.

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Aww, what an adorable pair of brunette the newly-dyed Jessica Simpson & John Mayer make!

The couple were spotted Thursday enjoying some hand-holding in Italy’s capital, Rome.  Simpson & Mayer arrived earlier that day & appear to be enjoying themselves on Mayer’s European wrap-up of his Continuum tour. 

I wonder how long this pairing can last.  Four months?  A year?  I’m betting on at least a year, until Mayer gets sick of Simpson’s blonde ambitions & he takes up with a groupie.  What about you, what do you think?

Photo Credit

My goodness!  29-year-old John Mayer & 26-year-old Jessica Simpson do look lovely together, but in more of a ‘we work damn hard for this hair’ type way than a normal cute couple way.  You know what I mean? 

Mayer & Jessica were spotted in this hairy embrace at the Sony BMG party at the Beverly Hills Hotel.  They are certainly out of the closet, now aren’t they?  I just wonder how long they’re gonna last….

Thanks to Us Weekly for the image.