Halle Berry is my soulmate. It probably won’t occur in this life because I stalled out for too long, but we have eternity to work things out. We have the same birthday. We both have two eyes. Finally, we have both have an undying loyalty to the world to always look good no matter what. It’s not an easy task, but the beauty fairies have put us in charge of this task and I know she has yet to fail.

As for myself? I have come close to failing, but I was able to hide in the shadows before anyone could see me. Do I need to wear makeup at times? Of course I do, but that is only because I wear masculine makeup that you buy at the masculine store. The fairies are the only ones with access to these stores so please don’t try to pry the information from me or I lose my beauty card and I really need the money to finish up my Christmas shopping.

The pay is better than writing for this site, but I have to write here for the next two years as were the terms set by the judge for my probation. What was my crime you ask? I killed someone for asking too many questions. You have a picture of Halle Berry up here and down there and all you can think to do is ask me questions. It’s embarrassing to me and it should be humiliating to you.

Go get some face or at least try to save the last pieces of yours that remain.

Halle Berry and her boyfriend, model Gabriel Aubry, are slowly settling their new family in more private digs.

The two reportedly bought a house in St. Hippolyte in Quebec, the place where Aubry grew up.

Isn't it so sweet?

Halle Berry was chosen by Esquire magazine to be the 2008 Sexiest Woman Alive. Check out the hot photos!

How did Halle Berry regain her figure so quickly after giving birth? Read her fitness regimen here and be inspired to hit the gym.

Halle Berry looks absolutely gorgeous in a figure-flattering leopard print gown. Well you know how they say motherhood makes you radiant — or in her case, ggggrrrr-radiant! Can’t believe it’s been less than two months since she gave birth.

Halle Berry once told people she wanted to “stay pregnant forever” — but we doubt she’s complaining now, after giving birth to a beautiful baby girl.

She and partner Gabriel Aubry welcomed their daughter last Sunday. Berry first announced her pregnancy in September last year, when she was three months along.

Halle Berry was spotted in Beverly Hills earlier this week showing off her baby bump with yummy beau Gabriel.

The two were seen running some errands & possibly picking up supplies for the new coming attraction.  So, what are you hoping for, a boy or a girl for this beautiful couple?

I’m thinking a girl myself.

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Holy shitake balls, Batman!  Halle Berry is finally confirmed to be three months pregnant!  Now that’s going to be a beautifully stunning child, is it not.

41-year-old Berry was slated to take up a role in the Lionsgate film Tulia, but those plans have been changed, now that the star has revealed that she’s very preggers.

TMZ has learned that producers of the upcoming Lionsgate film “Tulia” have scrapped plans to start filming in October — as the film’s star, Halle Berry, is three months pregnant!

Halle, who has been dating hottie model Gabriel Aubrey for a while now, must be pretty damn excited about finally getting her wish come true.

Congrats Halle!!!

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This one’s going to be a tough call.  Usually whenever hottie Halle Berry is in question, she’s a sure win, but with Leonardo DiCaprio’s model girlfriend, I dunno.

Berry was seen gracing a pre-Oscar bash with this amazing golden gown by Elie Saab while Bar Refaeli was spotted wearing the gown at Cannes last week.  So, you tell me, who’s it gonna be?

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Last week we were all wondering why Parade magazine ran that decade-old Halle Berry interview about her suicide attempt years ago.  We figured it was because Parade couldn’t get a recent chat with the star, so decided to pull out some old stuff.

Well, apparently Halle is wondering why the magazine dished out the old dirt as well.   

“It wasn’t my wish to go into all of that again in this time of my life,” Halle revealed.

“I talked about it on Larry King Live and Oprah when it was relevant, and I felt like it was important to help other women and share it with them.”

“But it’s just not where I am today and I really hate that it’s been presented like it is… I’m in such a great time in my life right now, it wouldn’t be my wish to really revisit that period, but this outlet did and made it seem as if it were current again.”

Berry took another swipe at Parade, saying, “Because I have a movie out, some magazine has sensationalized some old material and it’s not something that I want to talk about. It’s 10 years old and I’m so past it.”

You go, Halle, we’re all behind you on this one!

Photo by Photorazzi

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It just doesn’t get better than sexypants Halle Berry bending over in a tight, black dress to kiss her new Hollywood Walk of Fame star, now does it?

I guess you could scratch the dress & it may be better, though I have some reservations about that.

Anyhoo, Berry was ecstatic to receive her very own Hollywood Walk of Fame star that she continued to bend down & kiss it.  And do you know what, I think she was thinking of me while she was…….

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Halle Berry was recently spotted in Los Angeles buying up some bottles of Chablis.  Does this possibly put an end to all those pregnancy rumors?  No, probably not.

Berry looks to be getting ready for a very romantic Valentine’s Day evening with hottiepants beau Gabriel Aubry.  I think someone’s getting plastered tonight with that much Chablis!

Thanks to PerezHilton for the image which they got from FlyNetOnline which they probably bought from a peddler which they got from a little blue birdie who stole it out of the hands of the paparazzi.