It would take a trained eye to spot any of these celebrities , let alone go on a full-on stalk mode especially when they have all the incognito tricks under their sleeves .Learning the art of disguise and blending in to evade the peering eyes of the public and the scrutinizing lenses of the media, has taught many celebs  countless ways to go out and just be themselves.

The hoodie, the baseball cap and bug eye sunglasses, floppy hats and even more over the top was Michael Jackson’s mummified get up.  Can’t really blame them for their  futile attempts on disguise, as they don’t always have their best faces on.

Glossy magazine covers can be very misleading, thanks to the wonders of airbrush and photoshop.  You’d be surprised how your favourite pin up celebrity gals look sans the magic touch of a make-up artist and a hairstylist.  Make-up may just as well be  a science than  art, when you see the big difference  of a dolled up face ready for the camera lens, and your celebrity diva in sweat pants , bare faced  and in a mussed up ponytail .

Can you guess who these bare-faced women are?

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Posing in a magazine is a fine art, but once you do it long enough you start to learn the exact pose you should do at the right time. When you are wearing a dress, you should always sit Indian style. That is your winning pose right there. It isn't a secret that only some people know. It's a secret that only I know and have now shared with you. Not only did I show you a hot pic of Eva Longoria, but I gave you the secret to success when posing in magazines.

You would think that this site has become an advice column or something, but it will never be something. It will always be everything. If everything includes an advice column then so be it because I am here to help each and every one of you out in the long term. You are my babies and I want to cradle you against my breast. Let us stay warm during this cold winter season.

Oh yeah, back to Eva. I tend to stray away from the celebrities that I am writing about I need to stop doing that. Maybe next entry I can focus less on me and more on them. However, it's not like they need more attention poured on them. If anything I am doing society a favor, but nobody wants to give me the key to the city. Instead they want me to write more and I sit there thinking why? Why do I continue to torture myself constantly day after day?

Damn, there I go talking about myself again. Till next entry folks...

Last time we saw Eva she was sucking up to Kim Kardashian. It simply wasn't a good look for her, but I'm glad to see fortunes have changed for her. I know her husband is in the middle of basketball season, but is he ever around in pics you see of her? She travels to all of these award shows and parties and he is never around. Sounds like prime pickings to me.

I'm not suggesting that she would cheat or anything like that, but lonely women are lonely. She looks like the type that would age gracefully as well, which is a definite plus. Not so sure about the outfit, but I can work with how it fits her so not too many complaints from me.

Is her show still on? You know the one with all the old women that seem to hate each other. I never watched it, but that was the impression I got from the commercials. It was like Sex In The City: PMS Edition or something. If it is still on I think they should make it a movie because I would watch it. I love to see what shape Teri Hatcher's face will be molded in from time to time.

That was mean? Eva told me to say it if I wanted to bed her at the next party. See ya Tony.

Isn't it funny how most celebrities hate the paparazzi, but if all the cameras stopped following them they would miss the lights? Even more humorous is how non-celebrities get more people following them than actual celebrities. Take for example, Kim Kardashian and Eva Longoria. Eva stars in an award-winning show and is married to a semi-famous athlete. Kim has sex with a has been singer, has the sextape leaked and is now more famous and well-known than Eva.

What happens if you are a celebrity in this case? I think you have no choice, but to join forces with the non-celeb just so you can get your picture taken as well. You know Eva doesn't give two rats' tails about Kim, but Kim has the photogs and the ego of a celeb needs to be fed.

Hey Kim, you know I don't like you, but where are you going tonight? Would love to do a fake hug for the cameras and pretend we are friends so let me know what your plans are. Looking forward to it, should be fun. Toodles!

Well it depends on who you ask what the real definition of newlyweds is, but for this tandem, they still feel as if they got married yesterday. Despite being married for a year now, Eva Longoria and Tony Parker seem to be feeling the same way they did at the beginning of their marriage. As for kids? They are very much looking forward to having little Tonys – or Evas for that matter – running around.

Knowing that going in and out of a car could be a chance for paparazzi to take pictures of her crotch, Longoria had a brilliant solution… wear spandex shorts underneath her dress.

Great idea!

Ahh, summer weddings.  Whether they’re taking place in southern France or the southern U.S., summer weddings are just fun for all.

But who has had the best style so far?

Do you go more for the casual cowboy ceremony of Rebecca Romijn & fellow actor Jerry O’Connell?

Or are you more of a French chateau wedding kinda person, like Eva Longoria & her Tony Parker?  You tell me.

Eva Longoria & basketball star Tony Parker tied the knot twice this weekend in France.  According to French law, the couple had to be married first in a civil ceremony before they could proceed to a religious ceremony.  More bang for your buck if you ask me.

Longoria & Parker enjoyed a civil ceremony on Friday & took their wedding places once more on Saturday for the official religious ceremony. 

So, it looks like the possibility of sweeping Tony away from the evil claws of Eva are now gone, but there’s always divorce, eh?

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“Desperate Housewives” actress Eva Longoria will be gracing the May cover of the German magazine Max.

Is it just me, or does Longoria require loads of makeup & PhotoShop to look this good?  I mean come on!  How can you go from this, to this?

You tell me.

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“Desperate Housewives” actress Eva Longoria cheered her fiance on as he released his very first (and last) rap album this week.  Unfortunately ”Balance-toi” was not the rap album of the year.

Parker basically brags (more than most) about his lavish life in a semi-rappish style, much to the chagrin of these ears of mine.  The only thing going for Tony with his new album, is that most of the lyrics are in French.  For some handy dandy (& a little scary) translations of his rhymes, check out the Village Voice. 

We all just think that Parker should stick to the things he knows best:  marrying older & uglier women and playing ball.

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I wonder if the French-speaking Parker is whispering her sweet nothings….  Probably more like, “So, Eva darling, how do you feel about a pre-nup?”  Or maybe that’s me just being cynical.

Thanks to People for the fab image.

Tony Parker’s fiance was spotted in Pasadena, California with an apparent case of the giggles.  Maybe it’s because she had a great morning of banging on those drums her neighbors constantly complain about, or maybe she’s thrilled because her charity PADRES Contra El Cancer just collected a large donation.

What ever the story on Eva’s giggle fit, it looks like she & all her many chins are having a good time.

Thanks to People for the image.

Desperate Housewives

Normally it takes a lot for Eva to look classy, but this Vera Wang was just the trick.  I’m sure that fiance Tony Parker approved all the same.

Thanks to People for the image.

In all the flurry of reporting that Eva Longoria & longtime beau Tony Parker were finally engaged, it slipped my mind completely so show off that huge rock. My apologies about that!

Eva Longoria was spotted at the VHI Big in ’06 Awards sporting her new diamond engagement ring from basketball star Tony Parker. I think he did a grand job of picking that one out, don’t you think?

Thanks to PopSugar for the pics!