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Archive for the ‘Alyssa Milano’ Category

Alyssa Milano ‘Cooking’ Nude

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I, um, don’t even know what to say about this pic. It was taken by Dave LaChappelle who of course is a photography genius, but even this one might be too out there for him. Also this photo gives me too much to work with that I am having a hard time narrowing down the angle I want to go with it.

Do I focus on the weird eye makeup? The wearing a pot top as a hat? The leather gloves? The perfectly flipped eggs? No, I will focus on none of those things. Instead I will look at the horrible wall tiling behind her. Who would actually have a ceramic, checkerboard in their kitchen? Definitely not someone of the standard that Alyssa Milano is set at.

And seriously, if you are going to date a hot woman, make sure she doesn’t make a mess of things in the kitchen. Cooking naked is great, but wouldn’t your only thoughts be “great, look at the mess I have to clean up”? She isn’t even trying to put the egg in her hand into the pan.

Looks good. Fun enough personality to do crazy things. Makes a mess of things in the kitchen and you have to even question her ability to cook. This picture almost spoiled my appetite for eggs and Alyssa Milano. Almost.

Scared to see what she would do with spaghetti.



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Alyssa ‘The Munchkin’ Milano

Alyssa Milano

Wasn’t it just a couple days ago I was singing the praises of Alyssa Milano? Well today I see these pics of her and I’m not sure if it is the dress or she really is 4’3″. I’m pretty sure she stole Tinkerbell’s dress and you can tell that Tinkerbell is taller than her because this dress looks big on her.

And what is with the trashy tattoo around the ankle? You will see later today that I find some tattoos sexy, but this one just isn’t working. It’s bad enough she has the hairiest arms in Hollywood, but then she had to add a tattoo to the mix?

Alyssa, I am going to keep you high up on my scale, but you are dropping slowly. I’m sure in 2010 you will make it up to me. If you don’t, Tinkerbell gets her dress back.



Why Isn’t Alyssa Milano More Famous

Alyssa Milano

I don’t think I have ever seen her in anything besides Who’s the boss?, but why isn’t she more famous than she is now? She is mad hot and doesn’t seem to age at all. Deliciously hot. Did I just say deliciously? What in the hell does that even mean?

You see, that is the power of Milano. When you are named after a cookie you have to be delicious. Why didn’t she kiss me after our brunch in ’95? My breath was a little off back then because I was a on a Tang binge. I brushed my teeth with Tang, I ate my cereal with Tang and I bathed in Tang. I was a nice orange complexion, but I was still able to get the ladies.

I couldn’t seal the deal though because Milano is allergic to Tang. Anytime she got near my mouth she would break out in hives. Maybe she never recovered from that and that is why she doesn’t star in many things. Sorry Milano cookie breasts.



Alyssa Milano Loving Married Life

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Newlyweds Alyssa Milano and David Bugliari are loving married life. Alyssa says that so far, things are no different than they first got married. If anything, she says that she actually misses the wedding planning!



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Alyssa Milano Gets Married

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Former Charmed One Alyssa Milano has tied the knot! The lucky man? Hollywood agent David Bugliari. The couple met in 2006 and got engaged in December last year. Congratulations!



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“Charmed” star Alyssa Milano wants to go to second base with you, no really.  The actress is a longtime baseball fan, who even has her own line of ball wear, & she wants to give a lucky fan the chance to meet her at a Los Angeles Dodgers game.

Yep, you heard right.  You can win two tickets to two L.A. Dodgers games, along with hotel accommodations for three nights & the opportunity to shake hands with Milano herself.  Sounds just too good to be true…

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