Posted by Allison as Career Moves, Conscience & Morality Tales, Mischief & Mayhem, Scientology, Tom Cruise- Only a Matter of Time Before He Kills Me at 1:12 PM EST on May, 17 2006
Tom Cruise has lost.Â What has he lost?Â Well- his dignity, his mind, Nicole Kidman is no longer a Scientologist and Katie, I mean Kate, Holmes looks a little blue these days.Â But Mr. Cruise has also lost his battle to stop a certain episode of South Park from being shown in the UK.
The “Trapped in a Closet” episode mocks Scientology beliefs and shows a cartoony version of Cruise who locks himself in Stan’s closet while under the impression that the born again L. Ron Hubbard sees him as a failure.Â
On Monday the much-fought-over episode was shown at London’s National Film Theatre.Â The show was originally take off the air by British TV network Channel 4 in January due to complaints.
An event planner stated, “If we were charging there may have been legal problems, but it was a free event, so it should be fine.”Â
During the free screening at the theatre, creators Matt Stone & Trey Parker gave a brief talk about free speech and handed out free copies of “Trapped in a Closet”.
I like the way Matt & Trey work it.Â Destroy & humiliate your enemy through open discussion and information, and then pass out the copies in the millions.
So, it’s going to be a different brand of surviving when Survivor winner Richard Hatch, or asÂ Letterman calls him, ‘the fat, naked guy’,Â enters jail for his 51-month term.Â Hatch, who won $1 million in the debut season of the show, was sentenced Tuesday for failing to pay taxes.Â Oops!
The 45-year-old Hatch was convicted in January of failing to pay income tax on his reality TV prize monies as well as other unidentifiedÂ earnings.
The charges against Richard Hatch carried up to 13 years in prison.Â WhenÂ he was convicted in January UD DistrictÂ Judge Ernest Torres said he expected to sentence himÂ somewhere between 33Â & 41 months.Â After the sentencing Torres stated that he issued a harsher sentence because Hatch had committed perjury repeatedly through the trial and that Hatch never gave him a chance before voting him off the island.
Judge TorresÂ said, “It seems unfortunately very clear to me that Mr. Hatch lied.”
Hatch made his won statement before receiving his sentencing, “I believe I’ve been completely truthful and completely forthcoming throughout the entire process.”
Hatch’s defense during the trial was that he thought Survivor’s producers would be paying his taxesÂ & pleaded ignorance about money matters, stating that he forgot to tell his accountants about some income.Â Â
Hmmm, I don’t think Richard Hatch is a big enough celebrity to go with that approach, he’s no Pete Doherty.Â Should have been straight up at the front, received a 12 month sentence then signed a contract for a ‘Surviving Jail with Richard Hatch’ reality TV special series.
Doug tellsÂ Star magazine that momma Jane speaks toÂ Aniston on the phone at least once a week even though it’s been 18 months since the couple split in January 2005.Â I dunno, seems like a hard thing to do to just quit Jennifer cold turkey, there could be major psychological consequences to this action.Â
Doug says, “Brad is not happy about Mom talking to Jennifer.”
“He feels that Mom should move on now, and cut the link that was there. But she is in a difficult position–she has great affection for Jennifer–born out of the fact Brad once loved her and did marry her.”
Brad Pitt swiftly moved on to a new relationship with Angelina Jolie and is now a father to adopted children Maddox & Zahara.Â The wave-making couple are expecting their first biological child together at anytime.Â
I wonder if Jen sent Jane a Mother’s Day card…….
Desperate Housewives Eva Longoria has scored again.Â Longoria remains the number oneÂ hottie in Maxim’s annual Hot 100 list for the second yearÂ running.
Maxim’s list names the mostÂ beautiful & successfulÂ women in film, TV, music, sportsÂ & fashion,Â or as they put it, thoseÂ who have “a tremendous amount of buzz surrounding them, undeniable beauty and a promise of greater things to come.”
Eva Longoria is the very first to receive the top hottie spot back-to-back. Which eitherÂ means she’s the sexiestÂ woman around or the girl knows her way around a bribe.Â Â Â Â Â
LongoriaÂ was ecstaticÂ with the honor saying,Â ”I was actually really shocked last year when I made the list and then to get it a second time in a row–I just couldn’t believe it.”
Here’s a sneak peak at the top ten Maxim hotties:
Notable omissions on this year’s list include Britney Spears- gee, I wonder why; new mom & Scientologist in-training Katie Holmes; Jennifer Lopez- if your husband grabs himselfÂ more thanÂ he does you,Â I think you get the bootÂ & Salma Hayek- she’ll always be in my top ten.
Longoria adds, “I would have voted all of our Housewives on the list.”Â Eva’s thought process on that one- “I would make Nicollette #99 & that evil bitch Teri at #100.”
Eva states that her beau Tony Parker is thrilled with the top hottie news, “He’s very proud. He thinks he’s with a beautiful girl every day, so for him, it’s you know, someone else solidifying what he already thinks.”
Sure, like a mirror or a set of eyeballs wasn’t enough.
Take a detailed peak at the full list here.
In a hilarious new turn of events, Denise Richards has launched thrown another blow at the estranged husband Charlie Sheen.Â Richards has begun development ofÂ a kids’ clothing line, one month afterÂ Sheen debuted his own collection of kidswear.Â Maybe the new Richards’ line should be called ‘KickAssWear’.
It’s funny isn’t it, the crazy couple are now taking their fight to the shopping malls and boutiques of America where their clothing lines will bitterly compete in the oh so lucrative children’s clothing market.
Bad boyÂ CharlieÂ launched his Sheen Kidz last month, we justÂ love to play around with those letter ‘z’s, whileÂ Denise has announced she is launchingÂ ’Kidtoure’ this summer.Â I think I still like KickAssWear.Â
Kidtoure will feature applique t-shirts for young girls and will be carried by posh little stores like Barney’s New York.Â Charlie & Denise’s children Sam, 2, & Lola, 11 month, have already been spotted sporting their mommy’s tie-dyed collection of t-shirts.Â
Maybe next they will take their battle to the streets, I’m thinking of a clothing line for pimps & sex workers.Â It could be called ‘I Just Might Kill You Wear by Charlie & Denise’.
NickÂ Clooney was terrified when his son George Clooney dropped out of college and turned to an acting career.Â The Kentucky native quit college and headed to Los Angeles to give acting a try.Â His first major breakthrough was playing Rosanne Barr’s overbearing boss Booker Brooks on the long-running TV show Rosanne.
But George’s father Nick, newscaster & TV host, admits he feared his son wouldn’t succeed withoutÂ getting his college degree.Â He went so far as to plead & beg with George toÂ go back to school and complete his four-year degree, to be a newsman like him.Â
He recalls, “I thought that was terrible. I wasn’t worried about things like drugs. He knew those dangers. I didn’t want him to be a failure.
“I said, ‘Finish college. There are only 3,000 actors in the United States who make more than $50,000 a year, but there are 50,000 broadcasters making a good living.’
“But he was insistent he didn’t want to be a broadcaster like me. I don’t think it was my idealism that put him off. I think he didn’t want to go into an industry where he would constantly be compared to me.”
Both father & son recently visited the Darfur province trying to boost humanitarian efforts.Â
Dave Chappelle is still struggling to explain to his wife Elaine why he left behind a $50 millon contract from Comedy Central.Â While onÂ Late Night With Conan O’Brien last night, the comedian joked about how he’s still licking the salt off his wounds.Â Â
“My wife is still a little salty with me.Â She’s not mad at me, but don’t think you can walk away from $50 million and your wife is just going to be cool with it.”
Dave Chappelle has repeatedly defended his sudden retreat from his lucrative & popular Chappelle’s Show over the past few months, laughing over the claims that he is “crazy” and seekingÂ psychological help.
Chappelle & O’Brien joked about his swift exodus to Africa where he went immediately following his departure from Comedy Central’s Chappelle’s Show.
“When you go to Africa, especially your first time, you have this overwhelming feeling like you’re home,” he said. “I had a feeling of `man, this feels like home.’
“I think I felt that way because there was a McDonald’s in the airport.”
Bruce Willis & Halle Berry are in the midst of filming the James Foley-directed psychological thriller Perfect Stranger.Â Filming is on schedule & everything’s going well with production, expect Willis appears to be blinded by BerryÂ on set.
Bruce said,Â ”I get all awkward. She’s beautiful. It’s almost like looking at an eclipse of the sun.Â You have to take a pin and poke it through a card and look at her through that.Â You could damage your retina.”
Bruce Willis has sought medical attention from professionals for his blinded retinas.Â It has now been announced by the medical world that one should avoid looking at Halle Berry at all costs, as looking directly at the vixen will cause permanent damage to your retina, a similar effect to that of looking into a solar eclipse.
Willis has apparentlyÂ taken this advice to heart and skipped out on the sex scene with Berry, leaving her to fake it on her own.Â Halle acted out the solo love scene by writhing around on a bed while the sound crew played a tape of Willis’ voice.Â
A set source says, “Halle wasn’t fazed performing solo. Although she, in effect, keeps her hands to herself, she is very convincing indeed in the love scenes.”
EditorsÂ then put the pair togetherÂ throughÂ computer technology, the first time this technique has been used for a sex scene.Â Duh, becauseÂ mostÂ folksÂ do not wishÂ to forgo the Halle Berry sex scene.Â But you know, maybe they should haveÂ used this technique for the Monster’s Ball Berry & Billy Bob Thornton sexÂ scene, as doing the tongue dance with Billy Bob sounds not so appealing.Â Â What was Jolie thinking with that anyway?
Lesson to be learned- equip yourself with high-intensity sunglasses before stealing a glace at Halle Berry, else your retina will suffer the consequences.Â
Posted by Allison as Breakups & Goodbyes, Career Moves, Conscience & Morality Tales, Scientology, Tom Cruise- Only a Matter of Time Before He Kills Me at 9:09 AM EST on May, 08 2006
Nicole Kidman is stillÂ under the influence of Tom Cruise.Â KidmanÂ tells Ladies HomeÂ Journal,Â issue hitting stands tomorrow,Â that she’s still smitten with the Mission:Â Impossible star.Â The couple officially split in 2000, while Kidman was pregnant and who subsequently had a miscarriage.Â Â
Tom is now engaged to marry Katie, I mean Kate, Holmes & Nicole is engaged to country singer Keith Urban.Â But while Kidman has moved beyond her life with Cruise, she tells the Journal she still has feelings for the Scientologist.
“He was huge; still is. To me, he was just Tom, this lovely man, but to everybody else, he is huge. But he was lovely to me. And I loved him. I still love him.”
Nicole Kidman has always been very quiet & reserved regarding her split with Cruise.Â In one of the most revealing statements she says, “I knew I was going to get hit by something, but I think a divorce, and the demise of what your family is, is a little like a death in itself.”Â
Kidman is very carefulÂ these days who she lets intoÂ herÂ life these days.Â I guess I would be too if I was escaping a Scientology marriage.
She says,Â â€œI surround myself with truthful, kind people, most of whom are not in the business,â€ she says. â€œItâ€™s the life I want to have when Iâ€™m an old woman with long gray hair.â€
Last June former Penthouse Pet Choloe Jones was found dead in her Houston, Texas home.Â Her death occurred just months after going public with aÂ hot & heavyÂ affair she had with Charlie.Â
Jones’ mother Donna is mulling over filing a wrongful death suit against Sheen, thinking he drove her daughter to kill herself.
Donna Jones tells the Globe, “I’ve seen a lawyer about filing a wrongful death suit against Mr. Sheen. I think he didn’t slip her the pills–but he drove her to it with death threats.
“She’d (Chloe) call me 10 times a day telling me of her fears. She was terrified to death of the guy.”
Estranged wife Denise Richards also appears convinced.Â Richards confronted Sheen about Jones’ death when she learned the mother-of-three had died from liver failure after overdoing on prescription drugs.
Richards reveals, “I saw on the news that she had died from undetermined causes. When I asked him if he had anything to do with her death, he said he had ‘no comment’… This scared me.”
Posted by Allison as Career Moves, Conscience & Morality Tales, Mischief & Mayhem, Rumors & Whispers, Scientology, Tom Cruise- Only a Matter of Time Before He Kills Me, Top Ten Lists at 9:01 AM EST on May, 05 2006
So we were all waiting on sharp pins & needles for the mysterious Britney Spears press conference yesterday.Â But it looks like we’ve all been bamboozeled, the pop star diva never showed and we are now left to guess why.
Top Ten Reasons Why Britney Spears Did Not Show Up For Thursday’s Press Conference:
Someone has finally come out of the Mission:Â Impossible 3Â woodwork and defended Tom Cruise’s on-set behavior.Â Michelle Monaghan states the actor never promoted Scientology on the set and insists he never tried to convert her.
NewÂ daddy Cruise has facedÂ criticism worldwide for his staunch beliefs andÂ recentlyÂ received a backlash due to his non-certified ultrasound machine use.Â There have beenÂ rumors & speculationsÂ that Tom tries to convert everyone he knows to Scientology, and specifically on theÂ movie set.Â
But Mission:Â Impossible 3 co-star Michelle Monaghan insists that Tom Cruise’sÂ zany beliefsÂ do not playÂ into his professional life.
She says, â€œHe didn’t give me any Scientology advice and I never got any Scientology questions from him either.
“Should I hand him out books on Catholicism? I don’t know.
“I enjoyed every single minute of working with him. He’s such a complete professional and he couldn’t have been a more patient guy.
“On top of that, he’s such a generous guy. I’ve never seen any actor I’ve worked with treat the cast and crew the way he did. He’s incredible.”
You know what I’m left thinking?Â How much did it take the Church of Scientology to pay Monaghan off?
We all know & love CHiPS star Erik Estrada & WKRP In Cincinnati‘s blondie Loni Anderson, but how well do we know these middle-of-the-road celebrities?Â Well, we’re going to get our chance to find out whenÂ the TV Land network airs aÂ new reality showÂ thisÂ fall.
Back to the Grind reality series will feature Erik Estrada & Loni Anderson taking a stabÂ at the jobs they played on their respective shows.Â Â Estrada will attempt to be a highway patrolman & Anderson will be working as a secretary-Â or as we now say,Â ’administrativeÂ assistant’-Â for various radio stations.Â Â
I’m all about this hilarious new reality show but only if Erick wears his tight patrolman pants & Loni Anderson dons her revealing attire.Â Never mind, scratch the last one- has anyone seen Loni Anderson lately?Â It’s not so pretty.Â Now, is that going to make the reality series less or more funny?Â Either way, I think this is the best idea yet.
It’s like a party girl sandwich with a Greek in the middle.Â Paris Hilton, Stavros Niarchos & teen queen Lindsay Lohan have been quite the busy bees.Â Paris, who stole Stavros from Mary Kate Olsen, recently broke up with the shipping heir.Â Now it’s being reported that teen queen Lohan has stolen Niarchos from the open bachelor market.Â Who is this guy, Adonis reincarnate?
According to Life & Style just hours after Hilton let loose of Niarchos, Lindsay Lohan had a handful of theÂ Greek hotpants.Â Niarchos was seen â€œsipping cocktails and dirty dancingâ€ with Lohan at LA club Element.Â Â
A bartender told the mag, “Lindsay was all over Stavros.Â At one point, he had his hand up her skirt!â€Â Â Three days later, Stavros was spotted leaving Lohanâ€™s room at the Chateau Marmont.Â I’m sure he was just dropping by to say hello and making sure she had enough “fruit” in her “fruit basket”.Â Maybe she didn’t have enough Greek “olives” in her “fruit basket”.Â
Going back to the hotel heiress Paris Hilton, there are conflicting reports as to the motivation behind her breakup with Stavros.Â Hollywood.com reports that Hilton ditched NiarchosÂ because he wanted to spend the summer living it up on his yacht, while Paris plans to promote her upcoming album.Â Yes, I said it.Â Her damn upcoming album.Â God save us.
Paris dumped Adonis right before she left for Austria this past Thursday where she made a short appearance at a music festival for a whopping fee of $1 million.Â
A source tells Us Weekly, “Paris dumped him. He wanted Paris to spend the summer on his yacht, but she doesn’t want to party with kids on a boat. She’s going to promote her album.”
But hey, Paris is a bouncer, a get-back-on-that-horse-and-ride kinda gal and it looks like she’s doing just jim doodley.Â Hilton was back in states Monday, where she met first-round draft pick football player Matt Leinart for lunch in LA
According to a source, “There’s an attraction, but they haven’t hooked up.”Â Well, jeepers, she just jumped out of bed with Stavros, maybe she can handle being single for at least a week.
What a tasty sandwich that Paris-Stavros-Lohan sandwichÂ is.Â Â You know, to make things balanced, should maybe Paris & Mary Kate hook up?Â Â I can just see the videoÂ now.
Rosie O’Donnell will be cashing in a $2 million paycheck as the new co-host of The View, but only if she doesn’t do it upÂ butch-style.Â According to O’Donnell’s ABC contract sheÂ hasÂ been forbiddenÂ to cut her hair.Â Â
Is this some kind of SikhÂ movement?Â Nope, ABC & Barbara Walters, who created the show, have stipulated thatÂ Rosie mustÂ never return to that horrible cropped look which shocked fans in 2002.Â They are trying to make Rosie look at fashionable as possible when she sitsÂ down with the likes of Joy Behar, Star Jones &Â Elizabeth Hasselbeck.
Empathetically O’Donnell said, “I don’t blame them. I remember that haircut. The hair will be staying long.”
I’m thinking that’s a good idea, Rosie.
And the Anna Nicole Smith legal battle marches on. Yesterday the U.S. Supreme Court awarded Anna Nicole Smith the right to continue her legal battle in pursuit of her late husband J. Howard Marshall’s fortune.
As previously reported, the former Playboy playmate Smith married oil tycoon Marshall II, 89, in 1994 while she was a 26-year-old topless dancer in Texas. Marshall died the following year of their marriage and Smith contended that she was promised half his fortune, valued at $1.6 Billion. During their short marriage Marshall showered Smith with $6.6 million in gifts that included two homes, $2.8 million in jewelry & $700,000 in clothes.
Pierce Marshall, J. Howard Marshall’s son & Anna Nicole’s stepson, though I doubt they have mother & son talks, disputes Smith’s claims that J. Howard intended to give her half his estate & insists that the $6.6 million worth of gifts she received during the 14-month marriage was all she was entitled to.
However, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (that’s a mouthful) has determined that the recent appeals court ruling, which entitled Smith to nothing, was wrong. And now mother & stepson will engage in all out war. Can’t we just decide this via mud wrestle?
Pierce Marshall made his voice heard with a warning to Anna Nicole Smith & legal team, “(I’ll) continue to fight to clear my name in California federal court. That is a promise that (Smith) and her lawyers can take to the bank.”
And I bet they will. I bet they will.
Katie Holmes, I mean Kate Holmes else Tom Cruise hits me over the head and says I’m not a woman, isÂ in the heat of weight loss battle after giving birthÂ to baby Suri on April 18.Â Holmes is hoping to shed the pounds inÂ preparationÂ for herÂ marriage to Tom this summer.Â These plans, however, haveÂ been met with opposition from Katie’s, I mean Kate’s, father.Â
As reported earlier, Holmes has already met with Buff Brides owner Sue Fleming who specializesÂ in diminishing pounds for bridesÂ in a matter of weeks.Â Tom Cruise is overseeing the fitness regime since Katie, I mean Kate, can’t really do a lot of sit ups with her hands tied.Â Much to the chagrin of her father,Â Holmes is dedicated to loosing her baby weight.Â
Martin Holmes tells British magazine Reveal, “My daughter needs rest, relaxation and recuperation. Katie is already doing exercises to build up her back and shoulders and I simply can’t go along with what is happening.”
Buff Brides Sue Fleming interjects,Â ”Katie can and will do it. She has great motivation. She loves her fiance and was proud that Tom oversaw this program.
“He told her he wanted her to be the most beautiful bride ever. She was in tears when he said that.”
I’m pretty sure Katie, I mean Kate, was in tears because she should already be the most beautiful bride to Tom Cruise, I mean Satan.Â And probably mingled with a little regret and painful chaffing skin due to the ropes on her wrist.
Posted by Allison as Career Moves at 1:22 PM EST on Apr, 28 2006
The comedienne let loose her own daytime show in 2002Â so she could concentrate on raising her children with partner Kelli.Â
Everybody Loves Raymond’s Patricia Heaton and news reporter Connie Chung have also been linked to the co-host availability.Â Apparently the winner was decided via mud fight and O’Donnell won with a surprising S & M studded leather whip to Chung’s backside.
It looks like hot couple Angelina Pitt & Brad Jolie, I mean Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt will again hit movie screen together.Â The Mr. & Mrs. Smith duo have recently been linked to the much-talked-about-but-never-actually-goes-into-filming movie based on Ayn Rand’s famous novel Atlas Shrugged.
Lionsgate FilmsÂ purchased theÂ rights to the film version of the 1957 novel, which is considered to be one of the most influential books of modern history.Â I dunno, I’d pay good money to see gambler & fellow Russian writer Fyodor Dostoevsky take on Rand in the literary ring.
Here’s anÂ excerpt from Atlas Shrugged that describes Dagny in alluring detail, is this the perfect role for Jolie?
“He saw a girl standing on top of a pile of machinery on a flatcar.
She was looking off at the ravine, her head lifted, strands of
disordered hair stirring in the wind. Her plain gray suit was like a
thin coating of metal over a slender body against the spread of sun-
flooded space and sky. Her posture had the lightness and unself-
conscious precision of an arrogantly pure self-confidence. She was
watching the work, her glance intent and purposeful, the glance of
competence enjoying its own function. She looked as if this were
her place, her moment and her world, she looked as if enjoyment
were her natural state, her face was the living form of an active,
living intelligence, a young girl’s face with a woman’s mouth, she
seemed unaware of her body except as of a taut instrument ready to
serve her purpose in any manner she wished.”
You know, the more I read it the more convinced I am that I am the one to play this part!Â Get Lionsgate on the phone, Jeeves!
The story revolves around theÂ futuristicÂ economic collapse of theÂ US and illustrates Rand’s philosophy of objectivism.
Producers Howard and Karen Baldwin will adapt theÂ 560,938-word novel into a feature film, a task I do not envy.Â
Over the many years Clint Eastwood, Robert RedfordÂ & Faye Dunaway have had ties to the project.Â It’s just another Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.Â We’ll probably be lucky if we see it in our lifetime.