Zany Scientologist Tom Cruise & Katie, I mean Kate, Holmes refuse to be rushed over the unveiling of the Satan child, I mean, their baby daughter Suri. 

The Hollywood couple feel the pressure of the media to release photographs of the 12-week-old girl, but will release photos of the invisible baby when they feel good & ready.

We are all becoming more suspicious by the day & with the not-really-standard birth certificate obtained by TMZ.com, our heads are hurting from all the scratching & wondering.  

Even US Weekly, in their oh-so-cute fashion, have a clock ticking off the days since Suri’s birth on April 18 to indicate how this child probably doesn’t exist or looks just like L. Ron Hubbard & the Church of Scientology is scared stiff to release those images to the public at large.   

Cruise & Holmes’ spokesperson Arnold Robinson recently stated, ”If and when they do make a decision, it will be at their discretion and not anybody else’s.”

Which really means to me that the child does have a bifurcated tail & horns.

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