Why She’s Today’s Hottest Woman:
Oh, Lady Gaga. You could have been so much hotter than you are right now. After you allowed someone to puke on you at SXSW, you just had to show us photos of you bathing in what looked convincingly like swamp water. Your hotness wasn’t supposed to have peaked at your The Fame Monster era. It’s not too late! You still manage to look really hot in photo shoots, but that’s only when you attempt to resemble a normal human being. But hey. Do you, girl.