Performancing Metrics


Posts Tagged ‘Lindsay Lohan’

Weird Celebrity Tattoos – Britney Spears, Avril Lavigne

A lot more celebs have tattoos than many of us might have guessed, but the latest bunch of misfits to get some ink done are Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. Lindsay had a swallow (above; pic: inked on the less fleshy part of her right forearm (i.e., probably somewhat painful). The swallow is said to be similar to the one for the Chanel logo.

Well at least LiLo’s tat isn’t too stupid. Brtiney, on the other hand, supposedly paid $5K for a red crown — as in what a queen would wear on her head, except Brit got it inked on her butt cheek. For $5,000. No pics have surfaced yet of this ridiculous waste of money. (I think I need to move to Lala land and take up a new profession.) Maybe she’ll tweet a pic to her followers on Twitter. After all, she’s about to have the most followed Twitter profile, about to beat out Ashton Kutcher.

Miley Cyrus has what seems like an innocuous tat, with the word ‘love’, but it it’s on her right ear. Considering the actual location, which is not very fleshy, it was probably a painful inking to sit through. That still doesn’t make her a big girl now, and hopefully she saves the bump-and-grinding of older men until she’s at least of age.

Avril Lavigne might be a bit tougher than I’ve given her credit for. She’s on the cover Inked magazine and apparently she has the four-letter word “F*CK” on her rib cage. Not sure how long she’s had it, but it’s the full word, not the censored version. As in forever. Until she dies. Unless she gets painful laser surgery to remove it. Yeah, that’s really the kind of girl you want to take home to mom. Who knew Canadian chicks could get so tough, swearing like a sailor, eating Tim Horton’s donuts and playing in the snow all year. Maybe Lindsay and Avril can have another fight, this time over who has the stupider tattoo. Wonder what they’ll tell their respective grandchildren.

Wow these are tough starchicks. Ryan Phillippe is a bit of a softie in comparison. He has a tat of his son and his grandfather, as a symbolic gesture, since the two never met. Aw.


Lindsay Lohan Lucks Out: No Jail

Oh Lindsay, what happened to the sweet girl we knew and loved? So little Lindsay LiLo Lohan was no doubt really scared up until the mean old Judge Marsha Revel revealed her ruling for the notorious party monster, who has been running rampant lately. You ask me, Lindsay got off easy. Me, I would have asked the judge to turn Linds over to me, taken the girl across my knee and given her a spanking guaranteed to scare the freckles off of her.

Of course, that’s not going to happen, so Lindsay is damn lucky that even though the judge is pissed-off and won’t accept any of her excuses, she still got off fairly easy. Lindsay said she doesn’t need prison or rehab, though that’s probably out of fear. But she wantonly went to woo funds in Cannes for her still unconfirmed role as porn star Linda Lovelace. As an excuse for why she didn’t make it to her scheduled court date last Thursday, she claimed that her passport was stolen (but the French Police didn’t know about it), that she applied for a replacement (but the U.S. Embassy in France says she only faxed a copy), and that she had to wait for it before she could fly back. That would still make her late, unless she could get on a private jet — which begged friends for via an email. And all that’s not before she was pictured partying it up in Cannes, sporting an ugly new tattoo, and falling down on her knees supposedly due to being tired. (Yeah, Linds; partying all night kinda does that to you.)

Of source, she not at fault. It’s everyone else’s fault. In fact, she claimed that that her father orchestrated the theft of her passport. It’s possible, since Michael Lohan is reputedly trying to gain conservatorship of Lindsay’s estate. Her attorney also tried to blame her no-show at court on her uncle’s recent death. Um, no. It’s because she went to Cannes despite being fully aware that she had a pending court date.

So, she’s lucky that the judge didn’t give her any jail time. (Lindsay even showed up over 10 minutes late for court; couldn’t any of her people at least get her there on time?) She has to yet again wear a SCRAM bracelet on her ankle, which is an alcohol monitoring device. She has to refrain from alcohol and drugs and have random drug testing every week. Sounds easy, but if the girl has an addiction, then it really isn’t all that easy. The last time Lindsay had to wear a SCRAM bracelet, a couple of years ago, she had it removed. The girl is a party monster — she’s spent millions on partying over the years — but she’s also a troubled soul and these legal measures just aren’t going to work on her, even if she had gone to jail. Even her own friends think that she doesn’t have the discipline to stop. I say turn Dr. Phil on her.


Celebrific Lowdown – May 20, 2010

Supermodel Naomi Campbell might have a problem on her hands. She’s been asked to testify at an international war crimes trial because she might have received a “blood diamond” from an African warlord. In fact, Campbell might have received several uncut diamonds, according to a modeling agent, Carole White. Actress Mia Farrow might also be called to the trial, as a witness. If that news makes you think too hard like it did me, just concentrate onthe pic of a naked Naomi above.

Lindsay Lohan has had a hard week of partying in Cannes, and trying to come up with creative excuses for why she didn’t make it back to LA this morning for her court hearing. While the judge in her case did issue an arrest warrant, Lindsay’s bail deposit (10% of the $100K) has been paid and the warrant was recalled. So she won’t be arrested up on her return, but she sure has some ‘splainin to do, particularly the statement to US Magazine that her father had someone steal her passport.

Jennifer Aniston’s age must be catching up. She actually asked to be retouched on her new film, The Switch (Aug 20th), after watching cuts. Ah well, it’s all relative, I guess. Seriously, I could have sworn that ‘yesterday’ she was only 30-something and vibrant. Now she’s 40-something. And still pretty vibrant, if you ask me. Many women would be happy to look as youthful as she still does. Anyway, here’s a gratuitous pic of her, looking every bit of a film goddess.

It’s understandable that doctors would be worried that Kelly Preston is pregnant at 47, but she has already had two children, so being pregnant is said to be easier. (My grandmother had her 9th at 45.) However, doctors are concerned for Preston because older pregnancies bring increased risk of illnesses such as gestational diabetes. Increase of Down’s Syndrome in the child is also an issue. This makes me wonder how several 60-70 year old women have been having children thanks to advances in fertility science.

Miley Cyrus for Lilith Fair? Gahhh!! What a huge disappointment for a music festival that I have the utmost respect for. Or had. Sarah McLachlan’s eaten too many vegetarian meals and lost her mind. I have never heard Miley Cyrus’ music but I know I’d never associate her with any single artist ever attached to the Lilith Fair. It’s not like the girl’s head isn’t big enough. But maybe Sarah’s 8 year-old daughter, India, has something to do with the request. Then again, Miley did work with rapper Lil Jon to remix her new single, “Can’t be Tamed.” Maybe she’ll gain some big girl cred in a way that wearing corsets and grinding her underage body into a adult man won’t give her.


Will Cannes Trip Land Lindsay Lohan in Jail?

Lindsay Lohan is in a huge pile of doo and not a very good liar. It’s pretty obvious that she’s delusional and wantonly went off to Cannes last week to party, despite that she had an upcoming court hearing (scheduled for 8:30 am PST this morning). Then she found herself a bit stuck in Europe. Next she claimed that her passport was stolen and had to wait for a replacement, meaning she wouldn’t make the court appearance without a private jet. But today is another day and she’s in even more trouble.

First, the French police say she never reported the passport stolen, despite what her lawyer said at this morning’s LA court hearing — you know, the one Lindsay missed. Next, the U.S. Embassy in Marseille, France says she never applied for a new passport, though she did fax over a copy (I assume she already had a copy of the original). Which means if she really did lose her passport, she’s stuck there even longer. Then she apparently sent an email to friends and family begging for help in getting a private plane back to LA. Here’s the text of the email:

I need my friends, and people I work with to PLEASE help me get on a private plane tomorrow by at least 5pm. This is such a horrible thing that’s happened to me and extremely unfortunate. My passports been stolen and the day before my court hearing. I would never ask such a thing, but if there’s anything that I could ever ask of anyone, it would be to help me with this. I must get back on a jet to LA tomorrow. If anyone has planes leaving Nice/Cannes at any time after 11am when I get my passport, please, please, let me know if you can help me. God bless All my love Thank you, Lindsay Lohan [Radar Online]

Unfortunately, LiLo didn’t get a replacement yet for her passport. Oh and by the way, it’s her dad Michael’s fault for the passport being stolen. Why? To ensure she goes to jail and he takes over her finances? As for the missed court hearing today, the prosecuting D.A. wants to see proof that LiLo had bought a plane ticket, which would show her intent to return on time for the missed court appearance. But whether LiLo’s lying or not, Judge Marsha Revel has actually issued an arrest warrant and set bail at $100,000.

To stay out of jail, at least until the next hearing, she can’t drink alcohol, has to submit random drug testing weekly, and has to wear a SCRAM bracelet, which straps around the ankle and monitors any alcohol intake. You know, like the one she wore in 2007 (in the pic above) but which she had removed? (Cue foreboding music here.)

LiLo supposedly partied until 5 am on a yacht, and is on some French party guest lists for tonight, but is expected to return to LA for Friday. (Her mother has recently said that reports of her partying, in general, are false.) U.S. Customs is planning to stop her when she arrives at LAX, then likely turned over to airport police or the LAPD.

Oh Lindsay, will you never learn? Such a diva. You’re always blaming everyone else, whenever you get in trouble. Did you even secure the porn star role you wemt to Cannes to promote? Are things that desperate for you that you need to get in trouble for one small role, or did someone twist your arm to go to Cannes? If you put in as much effort into your trade as you do in concocting stories, you’d do quite well.


Lindsay Lohan Won’t Make it to Court on Time

In the ongoing saga of all that is Lindsay Lohan’s life, she’s now claiming that someone stole her passport in Cannes, where she’s been attending the film festival. TMZ says that she has an US Embassy appointment to set things right, but that’s tomorrow. There was also the mention of the volcanic ash cloud keeping Lindsay and other air travelers delayed in Europe.

Maybe it was Indrani, the photog whom some people are claiming is LiLo’s new lesbian cougar lover — but which Lindsay denies. Regardless, this means three pending strikes against her when she does make it back to an airport in the United States: (1) not completing all of her traffic/ alcohol education classes; (2) not doing them with a certain frequency; (3) not making her court appearance Thursday of this week.

She may have gotten good grades for her classes, but the plain fact is that she’s missed them. And since the judge presiding in her case, Marsha Revel, is apparently ready to issue an arrest warrant, and the prosecutor saying LiLo should go to jail, things are not looking to good for her. And all this for what? Partying it up in Cannes but supposedly to get backing for her possible role as porn star Linda Lovelace? This is a role she’s apparently not confirmed for, depending on whom you ask. What’s more, the guy who owns the rights to the porn star’s moniker has even approved the use yet.

Does LiLo never learn? And you thought blondes were dumb. Lindsay is single-handedly reducing the average IQ of redheads everywhere. And seriously, what’s with the Plastic Vampirella look these days? I prefer the wholesome redhead she once was.


Lindsay Lohan Stuck in Europe, Headed for Jail?

Yay, my favorite freckle-faced former redhead, Lindsay Lohan, always finds away to stay in the news so no one will forget her. She now has a 36 year-old “cougar” lesbian lover, as PopEater puts it, who is a photog and what’s her name, Indrani Pal-Chaudhuri, suggests she’s East Indian. Given LiLo’s facial features have been transforming into something very Bollywood, I’m not surprised.

But wait, is LiLo’s new pal, Pal-Chaudhuri, paparazzi? No, she’s a reality show star, a Princeton graduate, and not a party girl. So what happened to the man whose arm she was on about Cannes? But LiLo told US Weekly that while the two have been spending time together, they are not dating. But Indrani’s own business partner, photographer Markus Klinko, is quoted as saying he’s seen the pair making out.

So why does LiLo’s lawyer think she’s going to jail? Well Lindsay was right, that she needs a few more weeks to complete her probation terms. She’s also supposed to finish up the last 4 classes of her traffic school cum alcohol education by Thursday. (Looks like she was educating herself about alcohol in Cannes, though, judge.) Unfortunately, because of the volcanic ash that’s still affecting airports in Europe, she might not make it back tin time, in which case she’ll have a bench warrant for her arrest waiting to greet her in the USA, whereupon she’d probably be ushered to a cell.

Wow, so much life lived and LiLo’s only 23.

Image: NY Post.


It’s Ok Everyone, Lindsay Lohan is Ok, Not Delusional

From the pseudo-real headlines of the celebrity blogosphere today, you’d think that it was Lindsay Lohan underwent brain surgery, not Barbara Walters. Oh no, wait, that was heart valve surgery. Anyway, Lindsay’s progress is very good right now, thank you very much. So you can stop worrying about her. She doesn’t need a brain transplant.

LA Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel confirmed LiLo is progressing in her alcohol education program. Good on you, Lindsay. Maybe now when you party, you can control yourself. If you can’t, give me a call and I’ll set you straight. I’ll even drive you around for your traffic school classes. I mean, you already seem to have forgotten that you have certain obligations to complete THIS Thursday. Kind of hard to do from France, since you decided to go to Cannes instead of finishing up your final four classes.

Now what I’d like to know, Linds, is why the heck you’re promoting your Linda Lovelace role in Inferno when the word now is that you’re supposedly not confirmed for it? Oh and hey, I think you’d be a great “grindhouse” star. If you want to do any, give me a call; I have some ideas for you. Bring lots of money. If you have any left. If not, maybe you could try for Bollywood, because whatever you’ve been having done to your face is making you look “exotic”. In fact, you’re kinda starting to look like Aishwarya Rai’s weird cousin or something. Now whatever you do, please please please don’t pull a Michael Jackson and go overboard. You were actually a wholesome, cute redhead at one time, and now you’re verging on a strange sort of Vampirella. Wait!! Vampirella? Let’s do a remake: Lilorella. Have, um, your, um, people, um, call, um, mine.


Lindsay Lohan Can’t Stop the Partying

In the festival circuit, Cannes is the big thing right now and gatecrashers abound. Lindsay Lohan, for example, should be doing her alcohol education classes, not fraternizing at festival — especially since she’ll have to pay her own way. She has to complete four more classes or it’s to the slammer she goes. Her time might be better spent securing the Linda Lovelace role so many of us thought she’d already bagged.

Speaking of gatecrashing, a possibly wasted LiLo and as many as 30 pals showed up and snuck in to a VIP Iggy Pop concert, sponsored by Ray-Ban. While the event had numerous other celebs in the audience, most had a few guests, not 30. LiLo apparently told security off before being ushered out the side door.

Daddy Michael Lohan told X17online: “My God. Is this the kind of person Linsday and others idolize???!! This guy looks worse than Jesus Christ on the cross. That’s what heroin will do to you.” Well Michael, Iggy did make a comeback in his career — partly thanks to David Bowie. Maybe your daughter has a similar lust for life.


LiLo and Scrappy Lavigne Have Verbal Brawl in Hollywood

Ha ha ha ha. That’s rich. Avril Lavigne has a problem with false people? That’s apparently what she told Lindsay Lohan when LiLo tried to talk to the scrappy punk poser at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood. (Does Lavigne think she’s a punk rocker and not a pop sellout, just because she gets into scraps with other people?) There was apparently a lot of yelling and some threats from a hurt and embarrassed LiLo to get Lavvy booted out, but security treated LiLo like a buzzing fly, after which she huffed off.

My money on a real scrap between Lavigne and Lohan would be LiLo, but the latter has probably had her confidence shaken a lot lately. Now that’s something I’d pay real money for: a WWE-style street fight with no rules, no holds barred between LiLo and Lavvy. Since LiLo’s acting career seems a bust right now, other than her rumored playing of porn star Linda Lovelace in the indie flick Inferno, she might consider a career change to wrassling. Anybody have Vince McMahon’s phone number? Then again, if the Celebrity Death Match clip, below, of Lindsay Lohan vs Hilary Duff is any indication of LiLo’s skills, Vince might not return her calls.


Lindsay Lohan Channels Linda Lovelace?

Actress Lindsay Lohan, aka LiLo, is said to be gearing up to play another famous LiLo, porn star Linda Lovelace. Lovelace, who died nearly eight years ago due to injuries in a car accident, is best known for her role in the hardcore 1973 porn classic Deep Throat. She also appeared in 1974’s Deep Throat II as Nurse Lovelace.

Personally, I see no resemblance between the two, other than that they both had difficult careers. But with LiLo struggling in her career, complaining about her DJ ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson, fighting off her dad’s grubbing attempts at becoming conservator of her estate, and generally coming a long way from her sweet girl image, maybe she’ll find some direction.

I guess this explains the gritty ‘art’ photos Lohan has been tweeting about, shot by the very same photographer, Tyler Shields, who apparently revealed her landing the Linda Lovelace role in the indie film Inferno. Let’s just hope that the Mean Girls actress doesn’t permanently find herself with a new career. If she does, she might want to take care of her nasty toes and stay out of celeb bloggers closets. Oh yeah, and stay out of jail.


Lindsay’s Twitter Frenzy

Uh-oh. Lindsay Lohan’s recent tweets haven’t been very helpful in cleaning up her image.

Yesterday, she posted a Polaroid shot taken by photographer Tyler Shields. The photo instantly became controversial—she was provocatively holding a gun to her lips. The shot was part of a series of pictures for Tyler’s new book, The Dirty Side of Glamour. After an outpour of criticism, she replied to one of her fans: “It’s not soft core porn hunny, it’s called ART.”

A few hours later, she posted a behind-the-scenes video of the photo shoot courtesy of The crew disabled comments. Perhaps they had a hunch that haters would take it to their youtube site.

She also slammed her dad Michael Lohan, as well as her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson by tweeting: “[sic] tired of @samantharonson Playing the innocent card, while chatting to tmz just like my ex-father, when all I’ve ever done is fall for a girl.”

Yikes. Somebody’s having a bad week.


Hollywood’s famous gossip Perez Hilton turned 32 last week, and he made sure that he celebrated it with his favorite people.

Perez Hilton Carn-Evil 2010

Read the rest of this entry »


Lindsay Spends New Year at the Beach

While most celebs partied the night away in Vegas, New York, Hollywood, and other party spots in the US, Lindsay Lohan ditched the festive winter celebrations for the sunny Caribbean Islands.

Photo by: KG/ ©2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 1/2/10 Lindsay Lohan on holiday. (St

Lindsay Lohan in St Barths

Dressed down in bikinis and flip-flops, Lindsay and her sister Ali were spotted by the paparazzi around Gustavia Harbor as they welcomed the New Year. Their itinerary included shopping, boating, and frolicking under the sun.

Photo by: KG/ ©2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 1/2/10 Lindsay Lohan on holiday. (St

Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich was in charge of the celebrity-packed New Year’s celebration in St. Barth, and other VIP guests included Beyonce, Jay Z, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr.


Jason Segel Sexed Lindsay Lohan


While Tiger is trying his best to stop women from coming out the woodwork, Lindsay Lohan is trying her best to drive attention towards her. Last week it was John Mayer and Cash Warren and this week she has bagged Jason Segel.

You can say all you want about her having STDs and being raggedy, but if she can bang almost any celeb she wants, she has some mad skills. She has lost all attractiveness in my book so this is even more amazing feat to me and somewhere there is a lesson to be found for women across the world. I can’t teach you that lesson because I feel it is only fair that you learn it on your own, but to put things in perspective…


…she is having sex with the men you want to have sex with. And she is broke. And has no star power. And has nothing in life going for her.

It’s only Monday, things will get worse.


Lindsay Disses Dad, Michael

To say that her dad’s a loser apparently not enough for Lindsay Lohan. Now, she is giving her dad a dose of his own medicine. Using Twitter, she is dissing daddy: “He’s a deadbeat dad. He’s disgusting to do this he needs help.” She also says that he threatened to kill her mom. What a whacked out family!


Ouch. I believe there are things a child should never say to or about a parent, but I guess Lindsay and her dad have a different relationship. She just tweeted that her dad’s such a loser – a comeback for his releasing private information about a conversation they had a while back.

Photo courtesy of US Magazine


Lindsay Lohan Gets Extended Probation

The young actress has never been in good terms with the law since she became a teenager, and during the first part of her probation period for a DUI arrest, she missed a lot of her duties. Good thing for her, she didn’t get jail time, but got her probation extended for another year instead. Grow up, girl!


Lohan Furious With Facebook!

And I thought I was the only one getting increasingly annoyed with Facebook! Well, La Lohan was in a fit on rage recently when she discovered that the social networking giant had closed her account, claiming that she was a fake!

” At first I laughed, but then I got angry. Angry because, with ALL the people that PRETEND to be me on Facebook, they decide to say I AM THE FAKE.”

Lohan fumed. For now, the tres annoyed star will be sticking to her MySpace page.


Lohan drinking again


Celebrity Search


Useful Links