Posted by Allison as Mischief & Mayhem at 8:36 AM EST on Jun, 12 2006
AngelinaÂ Jolie & Brad Pitt’s chief & beloved bodyguard Mickey Brett isÂ facing legal action in Namibia on charges of assaulting a restaurant owner.Â The Irish-born hooligan will be summoned before a Namibian court for reportedly beatingÂ up Thenus Duvenhage &Â subsequently damaging his eye.Â Â
Brett has been widely criticized for his heavy-handed approach to bodyguarding & caused controversy while taking care of the Jolie-Pitt family as they were preparing for the birth of their first biological child together in the African country.Â Duvenhage stated that he was escorted off from an area where the Hollywood couple were present & made an “offending sign” before driving off.
The Namibian local alleges Brett gave chase after the finger was produced, forcing Duvenhage’s car off the road.Â He goes on to state that he was kickedÂ & punched by the bodyguard Brett & has serious injury to his eye.
Duvenhage’s lawyer announced, “Since Brett is a foreign national and about to leave the country, we abandoned the arrest because he deposited a sum of money as security at his lawyer’s office, covering the damages claimed plus legal costs.
“We now contemplate when to have the summons issued to Brett and the law will take its course.”
Meanwhile the Jolie-Pitt tribe left Namibia Saturday following their April 5th arrival.Â In a recent press conference Brad Pit offered, “We are very proud that our daughter was born here, and we leave with fond memories and definitely hungry to return.”
OK,Â I have to come out and say it:Â Marc Anthony is ugly.Â There’s really nothing left to say.Â He looks like a gerbil & I feel like I should put him in a nice, fresh cage with a running wheel.Â Does Jennifer Lopez dig the whole gelled up thing?
And according to my pals at Celebitchy, he’s kinda cuckoo too.Â How do you go from Ben Affleck- no top ten hottie, but better than gerbil boy- to Anthony?Â I don’t know.Â Maybe J-Lo just likes herÂ pets.
Two Angelina Jolie postsÂ in one day?!Â Â I know, I know.Â But apparently she’sÂ happier than she’sÂ ever been and that’s damn important,Â right?Â According to Jolie’s brother James Haven Voight with whom she received much attentionÂ due to their affinity for open-mouth kissing each other, Angelina is a happy girl.Â Â
Haven & Jolie are very close siblings & it was James who she trusted to watch Maddox & Zahara as she was giving birth to Shiloh.Â Haven is ecstatic forÂ Angelina & Maddox has welcomed his new sister into the Jolie-Pitt circle of trust.
Haven stated, “I walked into the room and it was so overwhelming I had to walk out. To see the father, mother, daughter–it was such a beautiful image that it overtook me.”
JamesÂ said the children “were very, very excited–especially Mad (Maddox), who was very aware of what was happening, that he was about to have another sister.”
After Shiloh was born, Haven brought Maddox to meet his new sister and says he “imitated the way Brad held her just perfectly.
“When we got back to the car, I asked, ‘So what’d you think, Mad?’ He just said, ‘She’s beautiful.’”
“I’ve obviously seen my sister since her first year in this world, and to see her with her three children and Brad, I’ve never seen her happier.”
Gossip Or Truth:Â One of my new favorites, check it out
The Superficial:Â James Blunt’s magical powers
Defamer:Â MTV Movie Awards coverage
The tattoo reads:
N11Âº 33â€™ 0â€ E104Âº 51â€™ 00â€
N09Âº 02â€™ 00â€ E038Âº 45â€™ 00â€
Interestingly enough they are the longitude for Cambodia (son Maddox’s birthplace) & Ethiopia (daughter Zahara’s birthplace).Â I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw “S22Âº00Â´ E17Âº00Â´” to celebrate the birth of Shiloh in Namibia.
Editors at In Touch magazine gave Scarlett Johansson’s “irresistible assets” the top prize in their Best Cleavage In Hollywood poll, thankingÂ Isaac Mizrahi’s wandering hands for finding the best boobs in town.
In Touch spokeswoman Lindsay Loderstedt stated, “It’s not unusual for Scarlett Johansson to receive loads of compliments on her ample chest but the level of appreciation reached a new high at this year’s Golden Globes when fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi couldn’t help but reach out and touch the 21-year-old’s assets during a red-carpet interview.”
How odd, Best Cleavage In Hollywood poll, eh?Â Well, I’m looking forward to the Best Dick in Hollywood poll myself.
Best Cleavage In Hollywood 2006 Winners:Â (Boobs in winning order)
1. Scarlett Johansson
3. Salma Hayek
4. Halle Berry
5. Jessica Alba
6. Tyra Banks
8. Rebecca Romijn
10. Brittany Murphy
Celebitchy:Â Russell Crowe, not such a moral guy
Posted by Allison as Celebrity Babies at 8:50 AM EST on Jun, 08 2006
I know what I’m doing this weekend.Â No, not looking longingly into a Pee-Wee Herman poster.Â People‘s much awaited Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie baby Shiloh edition is set to his newsstands this weekend.Â Hooray- we can now see the love child before she gets screwed up by growing up with super famous & hot parents.
Actually, the cover is rather sweet with Angelina looking lovingly at Brad & Shiloh cutely dressed & cuddled up.
Posted by Allison as Paris Hilton Needs Her Own Category at 8:40 AM EST on Jun, 08 2006
Oh, Paris- that thoughtful, conscientious, delicate & lovely lady is so misunderstood.Â Did I hear someone say ‘Not!’?Â
While visiting her latest prey, Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart, Paris Hilton seems to be admitting her mental handicap for the first time.Â According to the residents of theÂ exclusive apartment complex where Leinart resides, the pea-brained & mentally afflicted heiress thoughtlessly parks into handicapped spaces whenever she visits.Â
I feel like this is the first sign of recovery for Paris.Â First you have to realize that you do have a problem & then face it.Â And with Barbie purse in hand & pettiness on her sleeve, Paris Hilton will overcome her mental handicap, by golly.Â Or I’m not Brad Pitt.
At a press conference today in Swakopmund, Namibia, Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt denied rumors that they planed to marry following the birth of their daughter Shiloh Nouvel last month.Â Instead the couple insist on concentrating & being committed to raising their three children.Â This was the couple’s first public appearance since the birth of their daughter.Â And man, has Jolie already lost a ton of baby weight, that bitch.
Jolie stated, “There is nothing in the air. The focus is the kids, and we are obviously extremely committed to the children and as parents together.
“So that kind of says it for us, and to have a ceremony on top of it is nothing.”
Speaking to Namibia natives Pitt said, “We have been able to have a very special, peaceful time for our family here, exploring your country and more importantly helping with the delivery of our daughter Shiloh. So for that we are eternally grateful.”
The Jolie-Pitt tribe are planning to leave Namibia in the coming days after their two month stay in the African country.Â I’m seeing a new tourist t-shirt for the area:Â ‘My parents went to Namibia (the place where Angelina JolieÂ gave birth to Brad Pitt’s love child) & all I got was this lousy t-shirt’.
Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim has acquired all 45 half-hour episodes, along with Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special.Â Starting July 10, you will be able to see the show Monday-Thursday at 11pm.Â
Pee-Wee’s Playhouse has not been aired since theÂ original 1986-1991 run on CBS’s Saturday morning lineup.Â Â Pee-Wee Herman’s alter ego Paul Reubens careerÂ plummeted in 1991 when he was famously arrested for indecent exposure in a Florida porn theater.Â We’ve come along way since then, with Charlie Sheen receiving just a small slap on the wrist for his many irksome indiscretions.Â
“I’d say this was a dream come true, but I never dared to dream the Playhouse would join Adult Swim’s amazing lineup of cool shows!” Reubens said. “Well, maybe I did dream of it a couple of times. OK, it’s a dream come true!”
Pee-Wee’s PlayhouseÂ amazed kids & adults alike &Â won a mouth-gaping 22 Emmys throughout its airing.Â I fell in love with Pee-Wee in 1987 & a complete DVD box set was released in 2004.Â
Just another reason for me to love Adult Swim.Â Alongside Futurama, Family Guy & American Dad, where could you go wrong?Â It’s good to have the Pee-Wee back.
Posted by Allison as Celebrity Babies at 12:35 PM EST on Jun, 06 2006
Say your first, or second,Â hello to Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.
They look the proud parents, Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt.Â I wonder what Maddox & Zahara make of the new addition.Â
Thanks to Celebitchy for the pic.
Egotastic:Â David Spade not the slim guy you thought he was
Amid reports that Dave Grohl suffered a fatal accident, the one & only has stepped forth to say that he’s still alive & well.
The Foo Fighters frontman’s wife Jordyn startedÂ receiving condolence calls after severalÂ websites reported that Grohl hadÂ died.
Grohl says, “I got a phone message from a friend saying, ‘Er, I guess . . . Jordyn, this is maybe for you. I’m so sorry to hear what happened.Â They were leaving a message on my cell phone saying, ‘I’m sorry Dave died.’”
“I guess I’ve finally graduated to the status of being an Internet rumor. It weirded me out a bit, but it’s stupid. I’m like a cockroach. Don’t worry. I’ll be around for a long time.”
Posted by Allison as Career Moves, Conscience & Morality Tales, Scientology, Tom Cruise- Only a Matter of Time Before He Kills Me at 1:34 PM EST on Jun, 05 2006
The new racing team, dubbed ‘Ignite Your Potential’ (barf!), will tour the NASCAR circuit with driver Kenton Gray.Â Thankfully a Dianetics, inspired by the book written by founder L. Ron Hubbard, Racing Website is being set up for fans.Â Whew!Â I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to share in this new Scientology glory.Â
Driver Gray credits Hubbard’s work with making him a good driver saying, â€œItâ€™s markedly improved my focus and my consistency.Â Through â€˜Dianeticsâ€™ Iâ€™ve handled stress and increased my performance and ability to competeâ€”both on the track and in life.â€
An unidentified source stated the reason behind the NASCAR move by stating, â€œScientology makes a point of recruiting celebrities as a part of itâ€™s marketing appeal.Â If this is another marketing appeal â€” reaching out to the NASCAR crowd â€” itâ€™s brilliant.â€
Yep, aliens & demons usually are pretty smart cats.
PopSugar:Â The arrival of the MTV music awards
The Superficial:Â Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban paranoid about wedding
Egotastic:Â Despite popular opinion, Lindsay Lohan & Paris Hilton can be adults
Just Jared:Â Cutie Kate Hudson pics
Socialite’s Life:Â Man goes a long way to not be Olivia Newton-John’s boyfriend
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah!
For the Britney Spears’ omnipotent reigneth!
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah!
For theÂ Britney Spears has come to her damn senses!
The pregnant pop diva allegedly signedÂ legal documents after consulting with lawyers about ending her marriage with K-Fed.Â About damn time.Â You know one kid, another on the way & an unsuccessful marriage under her belt by 24-years-old is a true feat.
A source told the British press, “It’s a stressful time. Britney has already started seeing lawyers about splitting with Kevin.
“She is serious about it. She knows she has to get things moving.”
We’ve all been suspecting this divorce for awhile, especially since the whole being-kicked-to-the-basement thing.Â And with last week’s post on Britney Spears’ website, it was only a matter of time.Â
Spears posted a poem entitled ‘Remembrance Of Who I Am’ as well as a photo of her giving the bird on her website last week.Â The poem describes Spears feeling tied down in “chains” & poses the question, to Federline supposedly, “How do you stand sleeping at night?”
The heart-felt poem continues with feeling of beingÂ ”manipulated” and “swallowed” &Â mentions “the sins of the Father”.
Hopefully, it’s finally over.Â We can forever put this K-Fed behind us & look forward to embracing the old & attractive Britney Spears.Â I’m thinking she’s going to be hotter than ever with the breakup.Â Just look what Nick Lachey & Beck’s albums did after their own heartbreak & disappointments.Â Yep, I’m thinking the “I’m Back & Reinvented Tour” should be the title of Spears’ reappearance.
Posted by Allison as Mischief & Mayhem at 12:39 PM EST on Jun, 02 2006
Well, normally when we hear of folks impregnating other folks, we’re not privy to the spectacle.Â ButÂ illusionist David Copperfield is changing all that byÂ stating thatÂ he will indeedÂ impregnate a willing female participant onstage in Germany.
Ha!Â That David Blaine & hisÂ fish tank are nothing compared with live sex.Â What?Â No real, live sex?Â What the hell?Â
Copperfield explains himself, “There is a great deal of new territory to conquer. I’m going to make a girl pregnant. Naturally there will be no sex.
“Everybody will be happy about it, but I’m not telling you any more.”
I would be more happy with sex, but you have me interested, Copperfield.Â Very interested.Â