Performancing Metrics


Paris Hilton’s Day as Kathy Griffin’s Assistant

kathy-griffin-paris-hilton-assistant-10-9-2006.jpgIt looks like everyone is trying to be gainfully employed, first Tori Spelling’s OK! pregnant magazine photo shoot, now news has come out that Paris Hilton was allegedly comedian Kathy Griffin’s assistant.  What is going on in the world when Paris has a real job?

According to Kathy herself, she hired hotel heiress Paris Hilton to be her assistant for a day while working on a photo shoot herself.

Kathy states, “We were doing a shoot by Mario Testino for Italian Vogue, and Paris was there – and so I put her to work and hired her as my assistant.”

“I had her get me reservations at Mr. Chow – but I didn’t invite her; I took Lance Bass. Then I had to explain to her the meaning of the word ‘versatile’ – she had never heard it before. I ended up firing her. It was just too tedious. She wasn’t versatile enough.”

Either Kathy can be actually funny & this is a joke, or Paris Hilton really is an idiot.  No, wait, the latter is already true…


Matthew McConaughey Hates Shirts


Matthew McConaughey apparently hates shirts & loves his chest.  No big surprise there, since we only ever see him with just his shorts on. 

But really, when have you ever seen a Matthew McConaughey movie where he did not take off his shirt.  How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days, Sahara, Reign of Fire & Edtv all had the McConaughey topless.  And really, who’s complaining?

According to an insider these shirtless scenes are no mistakes, and actually planned.

The source states, “And trust me, he makes sure that scene stays in every movie,” the insider says. “He knows that’s where his strength is. He’s not the best actor, and without that body he’s not the best-looking, either.”

That Matthew McConaughey, he’s such a planner.




Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt are in India to shoot scenes for a new movie about slain journalist Daniel Pearl.  On a quick break, Angelina, Brad & their 5-year-old adopted son Maddox went on an autorickshaw ride Sunday. 

But the ride turned out to be more of a spectacle as photographers, cameramen & reporters ran around the trio asking questions & shooting pictures, such as this one.  Jolie & family were forced to turn their rickshaw around after just 20 minutes & head back to the hotel so they could hole up once again & escape the ever present media.

Poor, Mad.  He’s going to be such an odd bird after this kind of Hollywood raising.



Tori Spelling Does Pregnant Shoot for OK! Magazine


Tori Spelling has landed a job, and it’s not even porn.  Since being booted out of her father Aaron’s $500 million fortune, Tori has been trying to make ends meet, especially with that bun in the oven from new hubby Dean McDermott. 

On Wednesday Tori flew from Toronto to New York for a four-hour long pregnant photo shoot with OK! magazine.  The mag has been known to pay up top $250,000 for an exclusive shoot, but I’m thinking for Tori it was about $10 an hour.

Wondering how estranged mom Candy Spelling is feeling about the pregnancy?  It looks like the evil of the evil Spelling mom is actually “ecstatic” that Tori is pregnant, but that’s probably coming from her publicist anyway.

Candy revealed to People recently that, “If Aaron were here, I know how thrilled he would also be to share in such a happy occasion.”

Miss Candy doesn’t really say how she feels about the pregnancy though, does she?






Katie Holmes & Victoria Posh Beckham hit the Paris Fashion Week pretty hard last week.  It looks like Katie managed to find some rather cute outfits, while Posh, while still looking fairly lovely, still looks like a FemBot.

Which outfits are the best for Katie & Posh?

Jessica Biel Sighting Pictures




Wow.  Jessica Biel is one pretzely girl.  The starlet was spotted trying to get limber outside the Pro Gym in Brentwood.

My, if Jessica’s acting career doesn’t work out, it’s nice that she has “other” options.


Katie Holmes & Victoria Posh Beckham Sighting Pictures


Katie Holmes & pal Victoria Posh Beckham were spotted walking the streets of Paris.  I love Katie’s jacket & her new non-pregnant look is amazing. 

I guys the girls are getting together more so Katie can be prepared to play the part of Posh in the upcoming David Beckham biopic.

Thanks to PopSugar for the pics.


Queen Latifah NYC Book Signing Pictures






Queen Latifah was in NYC this morning signing copies of her newly released children’s book Queen of the Scene.  At Barnes and Noble in NYC the Queen bent over & showed us all her goods for the sake of good reading.

I wonder how much of this book was her actual idea, or more of those around her?  What do you think? 

You know, everyone is out there writing & signing books.  Maybe I should write one.  Or maybe I should just sign other people’s books & pretend that I wrote them.  Yep, much better idea.

Dirty Old Man Jack Nicholson Bedridden & Put Up Wet





Jack Nicholson is apparently bedridden after straining his neck last week right after taking model Paz de la Huerta to the NYC premiere of The Departed.

Translation:  Dirty old Viagra Jack rode Paz a little bit too hard, yelled & craned his neck at just the right time & was bedridden & put up wet because the old man can’t take a good bed beating.

Celebrific Out Friday



We here at Celebrific will be out Friday gallivanting around the Southern city of Atlanta.  We promise to bring back any & all celebrity info and pictures, although it may just be of Daffy Duck.

We will see you back here bright & early Monday, until then may your weekend be better than Paris Hilton’s sense of ladylike behavior.


Eva Longoria Flies to France to be with Tony Parker

tony-eva-10-5-2006.jpgColor me confused.  Apparently Eva Longoria is flying to France (quite a long trip) to be with her possible ex-beau Tony Parker once again.

Amidst the flirting & dancing with busty blondes, allowing your publicists to make comments that your relationship is in “a difficult time” and going out with other men, I am twirling about in confusion.

Maybe once you have Belgian, you never go back?

To refresh, Eva’s publicist stated that Longoria & Parker’s relationship was going through “a difficult time.”

Parker stated earlier this week, “Everything’s fine. A couple stuff happened, but that’s nothing. Everything is fine.”

A couple stuff happened, meaning a couple of blondes?

Well, we’ll keep an eye on these two & report back with any more juicy details.


Anna Nicole Smith & Larry Birkhead Paternity Update

larry-birkhead-10-5-2006.bmpNow that we’ve seen the semi-marriage ceremony of Anna Nicole Smith & Howard K. Stern pictures, let’s move on to the gory Larry Birkhead paternity details.

In court yesterday, a Los Angeles Superior Court Judge refused to grant an immediate order for Anna Nicole & her baby daughter DanniLynn Hope to return to the U.S. from the Bahamas.

Larry Birkhead, one of two possible fathers of DanniLynn, is requesting a paternity test to determine who the father truly is.  Birkhead’s attorney Debra Opri is also requesting that Smith be ordered to submit to a drug test. 

Well, that’s not a lot to ask:  relent to have your child’s paternity determined & see if you’re on crack.  I’m sure Anna Nicole will come flying back to the States to participate in that farce.

Directly after the hearing, Opri addressed Anna at a press conference, “Anna, I am talking to you directly now and I want you to listen to me and I want you to hear what I have to tell you.

“If you are so certain that Larry Birkhead is not the father, then you have nothing, absolutely nothing to lose by submitting to this jurisdiction and allowing a paternity test.”

Smith’s semi-husband & longtime lawyer, Howard K. Stern says that he is the baby’s papa.

My, oh my. 


Nicole Richie & Brody Jenner MySpace Comments



Nicole Richie made comments regarding her recent break-up with Brody Jenner on her MySpace page Wednesday.  Here she is now…
“Relationship? I know there are rumors regarding my “breakup” with Brody Jenner. The truth is, we were never really together. We hung out, and he’s a nice guy, but my heart was never in it. Anything further is just a cry for publicity.”

Hmmm, interesting.  However, I didn’t get that from the girl’s rep who stated, “Nicole and Brody are no longer dating but remain close friends.”

Maybe I just don’t get Hollywood relationships.  What do you think?

The Celebrific Lowdown


Celebitchy:   Always worth a visit

Gossip or Truth:  Kylie Minogue is a princess

I’m Not Obsessed:  J Lo up close & personal pictures

Mollygood:  Rosie O’Donnell sex, yuck

PopSugar:  Reese Witherspoon yoga pictures

Yeeeah:  The head case of Penelope Cruz

Bastardly:  Katie Holmes high resolution pictures

Glitterati Gossip:   The Shanna vs Paris update

Egotastic:  Are Rachel & Adam finished?

Perez Hilton:  Matt’s back & in fine form

IDLYITW:  Alicia Keys vacation pictures

Just Jared:  Madonna orphanage pictures

Hollywood Tuna:  Hilary Duff on horseback

PITNB:  K-Fed comes home, damn….


Kim Basinger in Contempt with Alec Baldwin Custody Case



Alec Baldwin had estranged wife Kim Basinger charged with contempt of court Wednesday.  Baldwin stated that she was defying court orders in the dreary custody battle over their 10-year-old daughter Ireland.

Baldwin claims that Basinger violated his visitation rights by not allowing him to speak with Ireland and has failed to let Alec know when she it out of town so he could keep his daughter at his house.
Basinger pleaded not guilty to the contempt of court charge.  This case has been going on forever, I do wish they could work out their differences already.  Baldwin & Basinger divorced in 2002 after nine years of marriage.


Jessica Simpson TRL Pictures



Bradley Cooper & Jennifer Esposito Engaged




Wedding Crashers star Bradley Cooper & Crash actress Jennifer Esposito have gone & gotten themselves engaged to one another.  Who even knew they were dating?

31-year-old Cooper & 34-year-old Esposito have kept their romance very low profile and even went so far as to deny their involvement.  But now it looks like the cat is out of the bag.

Congrats to the happy pair, may they last a little longer than Nicole & Brody.

Anna Nicole Smith & Howard K. Stern Wedding Pictures


Nicole Richie & Brody Jenner Break-Up


After two months of dating & god knows what else, Nicole Richie & Brody Jenner have gone their separate ways, spilt, broken up.

Richie’s rep confirms the news, stating, “Nicole and Brody are no longer dating but remain close friends.”

A source indicates that 25-year-old Richie initiated the break-up Wednesday at her Malibu home.
The source states, “Nicole just wants to be single right now.” 

“She felt it was a mistake to jump into a relationship so soon after her breakup with AM.”
Richie & Adam “DJ AM” Goldstein parted in May after a nine-month engagement.

She does seem to go through her men like hot cakes.



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