Performancing Metrics





In an apparent attempt to one-up John Mayer, Sheryl Crow donned a bikini at one of their concerts this weekend.

Last week John Mayer walked on stage in a bear costume & played on as if nothing was wrong, so it looks like Crow tried to bring the concert competition to a standstill with her bikini taunting.

I wonder if Lance Armstrong is thinking twice….


The Celebrific Lowdown


Celebitchy:   New Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt & family pictures

Bastardly:   Nick Lachey red carpet pictures

Perez Hilton:  Linday Lohan served red carpet papers

I’m Not Obsessed:  It’s all about Jessica Simpson candid pictures

Mollygood:   Madonna goes home without Malawi baby

Yeeeah:   Ashlee Simpson has no pals

Glitterati Gossip:   Don Johnson dirty old man?  I’m going with probably.

Hollywood Tuna:  Listen here, dammit, if Scarlett Johansson wants to show off her breasts, who are you to prevent her?



Nicole Kidman has taken on a new role, that of a United Nations goodwill ambassador.  Kidman was named a goodwill ambassador of the UN Development Fund for Women (UNIFEM) in January and her tour of Kosovo is the first visit for that role.

“I’m here … to learn so that I can help your country at this crucial, crucial time for the future, to meet people, hear their stories and educate myself, and I suppose be a voice for you if you need it,” Kidman stated Saturday.

Kidman will be in the area for two days concentrating on women’s issues & getting a feel for the country’s heartaches.



Quote of the Day: Christina Aguilera on Husband Jordon Bratman




“It used to be, the only good relationships I ever had were with gay men. That was before I met Jordy.”

~Christina Aguilera


Cuba Gooding Jr. & Sesame Street’s Elmo Pictures




Cuba Gooding Jr. & Sesame Street’s Elmo get ready to shoot segments for an upcoming PBS special.

I think this is the best picture yet of Cuba Gooding, he just needed a muppety red monster to jazz him up a bit. 

‘Dancing with the Stars’ Singer Sara Evans Divorce Update


As reported on Friday, Dancing with the Stars contestant & country singer Sara Evans has filed for divorce from her husband of 13 years, Craig Schelske.  After making the announcement that she would be dropping out of Dancing for personal reasons, the country singer went on to state that she was divorcing her husband & needed to concentrate on her children and take time off the show.

35-year-old Evans filed for divorce in Franklin, TN where the couple & their three children reside.  Evans & Schelske have been married since 1993.  43-year-old Schelske ran for Congress as a Republican from Oregon’s 5th District in 2002.
A source reveals Evans’ reason behind the divorce, “Her husband has had a long time porn problem. He’s addicted to web porn and it’s been a strong source of contention in their marriage.  She very recently found out that he had struck up a relationship with another woman he met on the Internet and began having an affair.”
“Sara is devastated, this has left her breathless, and all she can think about is getting back to her children.”

In the divorce papers, Evans alleges that husband Craig Schelske committed adultery, was verbally & emotionally abusive and drank excessively.  Sara goes on to allege that her husband “frequently watches pornography” & has “at least 100 photographs” of himself posed in a sexual way on top of “several photographs showing [Schelske] having sex with other women.” Evans apparently also shared Schelske’s postings on CraigsList where he requested “three party sex and anal sex.”

Wow.  100 pictures of himself!?  The man has a lot of time on his hands, and maybe something else too.
Evans is seeking child custody, possession of their Tennessee home, as well as child support.

She better get the money while she can, I’m thinking Schelske’s political career may just about be over.


Celebrity Look-Alike Pictures: Billy Idol & Pink



I’m thinking this look-alike is more sad for Billy Idol than Pink.

What do you think?

Dress Like Ashley Judd Pictures



The Celeb Life had a great post on Ashley Judd today. Wanna dress like a celeb?

Take a look at Ashley in a Dolce and Gabbana dress with Jimmy Choo Velvet Sandals.  Take these $585 babies out on the town & you will be mistaken for a celeb, I promise. 

Can I have a pair in baby pink, please?

paris-hilton-dating-model-10-13-2006.jpgIt looks like Paris Hilton has a new man at her side, surprise, surprise.  Hilton has set her sights on Canadian-born model James Neate.

Hilton & the New York-based model hit Koi restaurant Thursday night in L.A. and plan to go to dinner at Mr. Chow tonight to kick off LA Fashion Week.

“He’s sweet, but he’s from New York, which sucks,” Paris told a pal.

After leaving the 6’1 James last night, Paris hung out with kiss-and-tell partner Travis Barker.  Later the never-sleeps heiress headed to Hyde nightclub where she joined company with newly reunited BFF Nicole Richie & was spotted dancing on tables with teen queen Lindsay Lohan.

Ahhh, the carefree life of celebrities.  I’d like to see how the Sizzler would take it if I started dancing on their tables.


Qutoe of the Day: Madonna on Making a Difference




“Can I really make a difference? That’s what I like to wonder to myself when I put on my diamond bustier and have my assistants oil my buttocks before each and every show.”





Bono & Oprah made time for a picture at the “Project Red” campaign meeting in Chicago.

The famous U2 frontman & talk show host are trying to raise awareness as well as money to help fight AIDS in Africa.

You know, they kinda look like a natural couple.  Bono & Oprah sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.  First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Stedman in a baby carriage!


The Celebrific Lowdown


Celebitchy:   Britney Spears & Kevin Federline update

Bastardly:  Jessica Alba looking hot & drinking coffee

Gossip or Truth:  Nikki Hilton visits David Letterman

I’m Not Obsessed:  Kid Rock gets booed at baseball game for hat choice, I would bo at him for much less than that

Mollygood:   Lindsay Lohan pictures for your Friday happiness

Yeeeah:  Harry Potter masturbates?

Glitterati Gossip:   Boy George is queer, I’m so surprised about that one

Hollywood Tuna:  Even Big Bird loves Maria Menounos


Reese Witherspoon was spotted with The Normandie Freedom School Choir at the
Children’s Defense Fund’s 16th Annual “Beat the Odds” Awards presentation.

Guests included Jennifer Garner, Keri Russell, Ben Affleck & Maria Bello.  The event took place Thursday at the Beverly Hills Hotel where the Children’s Defense Fund honors five of its local Beta the Odds program participants, Witherspoon & husband Ryan Phillipe were honorary co-chairs for the event.

It’s so great to see celebs giving back to the community.


Usher Has Strep Throat & Pulls Out of ‘Chicago’

usher-sick-10-13-2006.jpgDoctor’s orders, Usher has had to pull out of the Broadway run of “Chicago“.  The singer has been diagnosed with an “extreme” case of strep throat, his mother/manager Jonnetta Patton stated Thursday. 

You know if my mother was my manager & I was sick, I think her announcement would go something like this, “I am so sorry, ya’ll, but Allison is feeling sickypoo & isn’t going to be able to share her beauty, charm & wit with you today.  So sorry, get well flowers are being accepted at the back door.” 

Before his Broadway run, Usher stated, “If you think that you will be able to indulge in the nightlife, the wild life of New York City and do Broadway, it’s impossible.”

“If you do catch me out, it’ll be a miracle, because I take this that serious. It takes a lot to give 120 percent of yourself as an actor, as a vocalist, as a performer, and do it again and again, for eight shows a week. Broadway is no joke.”

But unfortunately Usher fell sick on Friday, just on the heels of his final week, so understudy Bernand Dotson (don’t you know that was a happy man!) took over the part Billy Flynn.

However, Usher fell ill on Friday, the beginning of his final week, so his understudy, Bernard Dotson, began filling in for him. As his condition progressively worsened, Usher continued to miss shows throughout the week, and fans began demanding refunds. But Usher’s doctor diagnosed and is treating him for an “extreme” case of strep throat, according to his manager (and mother), Jonnetta Patton, and has instructed him not to perform.

“He is really saddened that he cannot close out his last week in ‘Chicago’ with a bang,”  mother/manager Patton said.

“He expresses his sincere apologies to all of his fans who purchased tickets to see him this final week.”

“Chicago” producer Barry Weissler stated, “The entire ‘Chicago’ company is sending their thoughts and best wishes to Usher for a quick and speedy recovery.”

“Usher made a spectacular Broadway debut, bringing a great dedication, work ethic, and his amazing talent to the show. We all hope that he might return at some point for the many fans that were unable to see his wonderful performance as Billy Flynn. Usher has found a new home on Broadway and is welcome back anytime.”

Wishing Usher a speedy recovery from his “strep throat.”



Hilary Duff & Joel Madden Have Stalkers


Hilary Duff has claimed in court documents that she fears for her life, saying that she & her rocker boyfriend Joel Madden are being stalked by two men.  Apparently one of the men is a paparazzi while the other is a homeless man.  Well, besides the bit about the paparazzi, I think I have gone through that same experience.  I must be a celebrity! 

Court papers were filed in Los Angeles Superior Court today stating that Duff & Madden are claiming that a 19-year-old Russian man (homeless at this point in his life) came to the United States “for the sole purpose of meeting and becoming romantically involved with Ms. Duff.”

Court documents name the man as ‘Max’ and go on to state that he, “admitted to being ‘obsessed’ with her, has stated his intention of ‘removing’ his ‘enemies’ (i.e., those who prevent him from being with her), has stated his intention of purchasing a weapon, and has threatened to kill himself and to engage in dramatic actions to get her attention.”

Wow, pretty powerful words there, Maxie-boy.

Duff & Madden are just requesting, at this point anyway, that Max & paparazzi David Joseph Klein, to stay at least 100 yard away from Hilary, her sister Haylie, Joel & his twin brother Benji.

That’s not a lot to ask, I would have asked for Max’s penis on a plate myself.  You?




Dancing with the Stars contestant Sara Evans, as posted earlier, will be leaving the show for personal reasons.  The country singer’s representative has come forward to comment on the unexpected departure.

Evans announced Thursday that she was leaving the show, as she was filing for divorce from husband Craig Schelske.  The couple live in Williamson County, Tennessee and the singer needs to draw her strength & energy to concentrate on the divorce.

Evans’ rep stated, “Recent events that shed light on the status of her marriage prompted Ms. Evans to make the filing.”

“Ms. Evans hopes that her fans and TV viewers who’ve supported her in recent weeks and throughout her music career will respect and understand her need for privacy in the face of these recent events,” her rep went on to say.

35-year-old Evans & Schelsk have been married since 1993 & have three children together.

Poor Sara, hopefully she can get back on her dancing feet soon.



Gwyneth Paltrow’s Nightmare Diet


Gwyneth Paltrow is known for her crazy strict diets, but boy oh boy, she’s really packing a whopper with this new one of hers. 

Platrow is trying desperately to lose the post baby Moses weight and sought the help of Dr. Nish Joshi to help her get super thin once again.  We thought Gwyneth look fab, but she confesses that she has been wearing corsets to give that willowy appearance that we have come to expect from the actress.

Take a look at the diet below, basically Gwen can’t eat anything.

“Gwyn is BANNED from wheat, dairy products, sugar, gluten, booze and red meat. She is allowed turkey, chicken and white fish but NO swordfish. Veg is OK but she can have NO tomatoes, peppers or other fruits, except for bananas.

“She is also taking various herbal supplements to flush out toxins and undergoes regular reflexology and cupping sessions and a rather unpleasant series of colonics. In case you’re interested, Dr Joshi, who is based in London’s famous Wimpole Street, charges $1400 for the detox diet and, er, accompanying procedures.”


Who the Heck is That Pictures Answer


Yesterday we asked who in the world is aiming for the most flexible butt award.  And the answer is… (drumroll, please) none other than the singing/dancing/acting sensation Beyonce Knowles.

Surprised?  To tell you the truth, I have no idea what she is doing or where she is doing it.  Maybe the music venue couldn’t afford a mop to clean off those floors?

Madonna Malawi Adoption Pictures



As posted yesterday, it has finally been confirmed that Madonna is adopting a child in the African country Malawi.

And to me it looks like Madonna is taking her Vogue to the streets of Malawi.  What in the heck is she doing in this picture?  It looks like she’s trying to find some fresh backup dancer talent.

Anyhoo, we’re all very happy for the queen of pop & wish her and the Madonna family a happy congratulations on the Madoption.


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