Performancing Metrics


Madonna’s Malawi-Adopted Son David Banda Arrives in UK

madonna-adopted-boy-10-17-2006.jpgWell, we have a Madoption update, it looks like 1-year-old Malawian David Banda has arrived in the UK via South Africa on the chartered flight that left Monday.

Police officers were seen escorting the infant off a British Airways flight this morning.  David was carried off the Boeing 747 in the arms of an unidentified woman who covered his head with a gray coat.

Three armed officers along with airline & airport officials escorted the madoption party through Heathrow’s Terminal 1 to the baggage hall where they were promptly pickup up & driven off in a silver Mercedes minivan.

Madonna & her hubbie Guy Ritchie were not seen at the scene.  And thus begins the 18-24 month temporary custody of the little boy David Banda by his caretakers, a pop diva & a director.


madonna-adopted-child-10-17-2006.jpgThere has been controversy throughout the Malawian adoption process for 1-year-old David Banda.  Madonna & her husband Guy Ritchie have begun the paperwork to adopt the boy, but have run into many snags & slaps on the hand.

For one, Malawi has a law stating that a child cannot be adopted and taken out of the country, which they lifted for the queen of pop.  Also, the father has made many attempts to have a say in his son’s life, but has been ignored.  With David Banda already on a chartered plane to London to meet Madonna at her UK home where she will begin her 18-24 month interim adoption, there are still questions that remain unanswered.

Take a peak at this article from London’s Daily Mail newspaper where the father of the 1-year-old Yohane Banda speaks out.

[Yohane Banda] said: “They told me a mzungu (white foreigner) had seen a picture of David and liked him very much.

“They said she wanted to adopt and take him to America. They said that she would give him a better life.

“At first I wasn’t very sure. I asked if it meant that I would never see him again.

“They said I would be sent pictures and when David was older he would be able to visit the village.”

“My family and I agreed that this was a very good opportunity for David to get an education and grow up healthy.

“There were some minor disagreements about his Malawian culture but we said yes.”

Yohane had never heard of Madonna, or her raunchy songs. He was told only that she was “a very nice Christian lady“.

“I am a single man with no experience of these things. My in-laws, who live in Zambia, did not want him and my extended family is too poor to take him in.

“I was scared he would die like my other children so I took him where he could be looked after properly. I felt very sore in my heart, but I could think of no other way.

“He was one month and seven days old. The orphanage made me sign a letter to show that I was handing him over to their charge, but I suppose deep in my heart I always imagined that when he was better, or I had got another wife, I would go and take him back. I did not think anyone would want to take him away.

“But I was persuaded by Rev Chipeta. He said that I was to hold fast and not waver in my decision.

“He said many people would come to the village and tell me things but that I should go ahead and let the woman have my son – that it was the best thing for David’s future…”

Meanwhile Yohane still struggles to come to terms with what he has done. He says he has received no money in connection with the adoption of his child, but there is a sense that this committed Christian, who sang with his late wife in the local church choir, has a niggling suspicion that what has happened is not right.

Certainly he has never behaved like a man who willingly abandoned his son.

For the past nine months he has visited his son whenever he could – regularly cycling the 25 miles from his home in the village to the orphanage along treacherous dirt and stone tracks more suited to rugged four wheel drive vehicles.

He said: “I would bring him food from my garden, then sit and play with him for a while. I wanted him to know that I was his father, that I love him very much.

“He is my only child still living and I think of him as a gift from God. He is also the best memory I have left of my wife.”

Was Madonna right to adopt the young Malawian David Banda?


The Celebrific Lowdown


Celebitchy:   Linday Lohan age 11 video

Bastardly:   Holly Valance does Waldo

Perez Hilton:  Wesley Snipes busted with a tax bill, there goes another one just like the other one

I’m Not Obsessed:  Katie Holmes loves to ride in hearses

Jossip:  Too much of the Red campaign?

Yeeeah:   The six rules to abide by when dating a coked-up supermodel

Glitterati Gossip:   Vince Vaughn will sue your ass

Hollywood Tuna:  Victoria Beckham is very talented

George Clooney: The Ladies Just Can’t Get Enough


George Clooney is an object of affection?  Give me a break, Clooney is the object of desire from Lindsay Lohan’s drooling mother to costar Ellen Barkin, the man is a sexual myth & legend.

Friday night American Cinematheque paid tribute to the 45-year-old actor at the Beverly Hilton hotel and we have a little scoop on what the ladies are saying about the George.
“Yes, I have f— George Clooney. I always heard that George has amazing chemistry with all of his co-stars. Now I see why. … I’m probably the only one of many actresses to stand up here and admit yes, I have f— George Clooney. I’m very proud of it actually. … If you don’t have chemistry with George Clooney, you need to check your pulse,” Ocean’s 13 costar Ellen Barkin revealed. 

Interestingly a rep for Barkin, who is going through a divorce with Revlon billionaire 
Ronald Perelman, stated Ellen “was just goofing around. It was a roast. She was being funny.”  Yep, I’d watch those billions too if I were you.

“Before I met my husband, you were the best man I ever met. … You’re cute and funny and you do wacky things with shaving cream and Neosporin. I don’t mean that in a sexy way,” Oceans 11 costar Julia Roberts said.
“Girls, he’s the best friend you can have. But he’d make a lousy boyfriend.  For a non-Mexican, he makes the best shrimp quesadillas I have had,” From Dusk Till Dawn costar Salma Hayek stated.
And what did the man, the myth say for himself?

“I do have regrets in my life. I regret that Michelle Pfeiffer was married when we did One Fine Day. And that Julia and Catherine Zeta-Jones were married, too. Also Matt Damon, but that’s a different story. I’d like a crack at him.”

A lot of hilarity for one night’s work.  I heart the George.


Madonna Spotted in London Pictures



The queen of pop was spotted neat her London home Monday, probably to receive the special Malawian package that’s on the way.

Madonna was seen near her London residence with an assistant & her trusty umbrella.  As posted Monday, the pop veteran is expected to be greeting her adopted 1-year-old boy David Banda when he arrives by chartered plane later today.

Madonna looks like she’s prepared for the blizzard of motherhood.


Jennifer Aniston & Butt Glamour Reel Moments Pictures


Jennifer Aniston, and apparently her well-worked-out behind, were spotted Tuesday arriving at the Glamour Reel Moments Short Film Series.

The L.A. event is presented by Cartier and held at the prestigious Director’s Guild. 

Jen looks like she’s hanging in there, despite being with or without Vince Vaughn.  And may I say that her bootie looks like it could deflect an IED.


Marilyn Manson & Paul Reubens:  Why does this pairing make so much sense to me?  Pee Wee Herman meets death, goth rocker Manson- just seems to fit.

Paul Reubens takes charge with his own camera to grab a moment with Marilyn Manson at the El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood Monday night.

The two were attending Tim Burton’s world premiere of The Nightmare Before Christmas 3D.  And that, too, makes sense for this odd but understandable pairing. 

Heiress Nicky Hilton Dumps ‘Entourage’ Star Kevin Connolly

nicky-hilton-kevin-connolly-split-dumped-10-17-2006.jpgIt’s officially over for Nicky Hilton & Kevin Connolly.  We will always fondly remember these days of yore as the Nicky & Kevin era, but no more. 

After a two-year steady relationship, Nicky Hilton has apparently dumped actor Kevin Connolly. 

A Hilton rep was at the ready with a statement, “They’re no longer a couple.”

23-year-old Hilton & 32-year-old Entourage star Connolly began dating in 2004, just a few weeks after Hilton annulled three-month long marriage to New York businessman Todd Meister.

According to a friend of Hilton’s, Nicky “dumped” Kevin Monday because she suspected that the boy had been unfaithful. A rep for Connolly was unable to be reached for comment.

A 32-year-old man cheating on a 23-year-old Hilton?  What the hell was the boy thinking?






And the race to get rid of baby fat is on!  Just five weeks after giving birth to her second child, baby boy Sutton Pierce, momma Britney Spears is already kicking that post-baby body of hers.

The almost-back-to-her-original-form Spears was spotted showing off a new hair color & preppy style Sunday as she was shopping at L.A.’s Planet Blue.  Turtlenecks are so not Brit, so until we start seeing skin I’m saying that the old bod isn’t back as of yet.  The 24-year-old pop star & mother of two does look happy as she spends the day searching for a new wardrobe.


What the Hell Happened to Patricia Arquette Pictures


barrymore_moretti_inf.jpgLongtime couple Drew Barrymore & Fabrizio Moretti were spotted getting close in Soho on Saturday.  The Strokes drummer doesn’t seem to mind the photographers getting a few smooches on film. 

The couple stopped inside a local art gallery & then walked on to enjoy an autumn afternoon stroll.  I can’t wait till these two get serious & tie the knot, though with Barrymore’s months-long marriage history maybe a few more years ought to do it.

Via:  TMZ

Mary-Kate Olsen’s Mystery Boyfriend Revealed


Mary-Kate Olsen has been sporting a new man lately and it’s high time we know who this damn guy is!

It looks like the guy is no one special, not famous I mean, just a NYC rocker-type that goes by the name Max Snow.

Mary-Kate’s rep has confirmed that the two have been dating for about a month now.  The couple have been spotted hooking it up at nightspots such as Bungalow 8 & Gramercy Park Hotel’s Rose Bar.

I dunno.  It looks like Mary-Kate is a 12-year-old trapped with her older, protective rocker brother.  I’m just not seeing it between these two.  Whatcha think?


Kate Moss & Pete Doherty Spotted Friday

kate-moss-pete-doherty-spotted-10-16-2006.jpgDespite Pete Doherty’s continued addiction to just about everything illegal, the boy managed to climb out from whatever hole he was cooped up in to join girlfriend Kate Moss for a drive.

Doherty & very-stupid-for-being-with-an-addict Moss enjoyed a drive in the English Cotswolds on Friday.  Well, I guess he looks sober enough, for now….

What do you think, should Moss be with druggieface Doherty?




Courteney Cox was spotted with her hilarious husband David Arquette at L.A.’s 6th annual Screamfest Horror Film Festival on Friday, October 13.

David is celebrating the premiere of his slasher flick The Tripper, which sounds rather like an Arquette-type movie to do.  In true-to-David form, the star showed up in a creative blood-splattered white suit, which was well-suited for the occasion.  I should be splattered with blood for that play on words, I know.




After the rekindling of the old flame, Eva Longoria spent some quality time with beau Tony Parker’s mother Pamela Firestone.  Let me just say right now, Tony must get those fine, good looks from his father; ’cause I’m not seeing a whole lotta pretty here.

Longoria & Firestone hit some Parisian boutiques Sunday and they seem to be enjoying themselves behind those big-ass bags of theirs.  Jeez, those look like a workout to carry around Paris. 

Avril Lavigne’s New Nose Pictures


It looks like Avril Lavigne is sporting a new nose.  The 22-year-old punk princess turned Ford model now has a picture-perfect nose for her new job and we don’t think she got the new shnazz from just working out. 

A New-York based plastic surgeon Dr. George Lefkovits reveals that he thinks Avril had a bit of the old rhino work done.

“Her old nose was too short and bulbous.  The new nose has better balance and proportion. The tip is more refined,” Lefkovits stated.

Either way, what do you think of Avril’s new nose?




Bill Murray Parties with Scottish Students at St. Andrews

bill-murray-st-andrews-party-10-16-2006.jpgWell, it looks like you can man out of partying, but you can’t take the partying out of the man.  Bill Murray created a little sensation in the Scottish town on St. Andrews after joining Scandinavian students at an all-night party & even staying to help with the dishes.  Kinda sounds like Lost in Translation for real? 

This weekend 56-year-young Murray joined up with 22-year-old Norwegian student Lykke Stavnef who showed off his new pal at party where many Scandinavian students were already in full-swing.

“Nobody could believe it when I arrived at the party with Bill Murray,” Stavnef stated.

“He was just like the character in ‘Lost in Translation.’”  So Bill doesn’t have a personality of his own?

Stavnef went on to say that Mr. Murray was completely content with drinking his vodka out of a coffee cup, and even offered to help with the dishes.

News quickly spread around the small city that Ghostbusters’ Bill Murray was in town, and many a people came by to say hello.

“He was joking with me about reheating some leftover pasta and how drunk everyone was,” said 22-year-old partygoer Agnes Huitfeldt.

“The party was overflowing with stunning Scandinavian blondes. He seemed to be in his element, cracking lots of jokes. It was the talk of the town the next day,” stated 22-year-old college student Tom Wright.

Hilariously, just after doing the dishes, just like that, Bill Murray was gone.  And was he truly ever there?



Madonna’s Adopted Child Leaves Malawi


It looks like Madonna’s mail-order baby has come in.  Madonna’s adopted 1-year-old boy left Malawi today on a chartered plane, an immigration official stated. 

The boy, named David Banda, was accompanied on the chartered flight by two Britons & two Americans.

The Malawian immigration official stated that the saw the one-year-old’s U.S. passport and was under the impression that they were headed to England where Madonna has a home.

According to Madonna’s rep, “Madonna and her husband filmmaker Guy Ritchie have been granted an interim adoption of baby David by the courts in Malawi. He was issued a passport and a visa was granted earlier today which allows him to travel outside of Malawi.

“This interim adoption grants David’s new parents temporary custody for l8 months during which time they will be evaluated by the courts of Malawi per the tribal customs of the country. It is expected that the family will be reunited within the next few days. No further information is available at this time.”

Baby congrats to Madonna & her family.


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