Performancing Metrics


britney-spears-sex-video-leaked-by-kevin-federline-11-8-2006.jpgWell, we said this Britney Spears / Kevin Federline divorce could get nasty, and it looks like it’s just started.  With the text message to K-Fed informing him of the divorce, we’re off to a good start. 

Now, looks can be deceiving, but it may be that K-Fed has already retaliated on estranged wife Britney Spears by leaking a reported sex tape of the two, or rather K-Fed, enjoying himself.

According to, this is the famous Britney Spears sex video that has gained fame & attention since the first mention & utterance of its existence.  I’m not convinced this is Spears, but you tell me.  I will tell you first, that this video contains adult material & should be taken as such.  Consider yourself porn warned.


britney-spears-kevin-federline-text-message-divorce-11-8-2006.jpgSo, it looks as if Kevin Federline might have found out about estranged wife Britney Spears filing for divorce via text message.  How classic, and yet somehow this all seems to fit in the Spears / Federline relationship extravaganza.

K-Fed spent the better part of Monday being shadowed by a news crew from MuchMusic, I guess they were trying to figure out why in the hell people actually buy his albums.  While the crew was filming K-Fed happy-go-lucky stated that his wife Britney was his “number one fan.”  Ha!  Yeah, like number one fan to kick your ass in court, buddy.

After some more filming Federline received the news about the divorce via Blackberry, he became quite visibly upset (’cause he’s gonna lose millions), asked to take off his microphone, left for a half hour with his posse and returned looking quite the troubled boy (’cause he remembered about that damn prenup).  Oh, well, Kev, it was a nice run all the same.  Make sure to check out the MuchMusic text message video here!

I dunno, it just makes the whole thing come into perspective when you get a text message that your ass is getting divorced from pop star Britney Spears.  Ha!



The Celebrific Lowdown


Celebitchy:  Lindsay Lohan gets rear-ended & likes it

Bastardly:   Nicole da Silva in Maxim

Perez Hilton:   Gwen Stefani & baby Kingston spotted at Heathrow

I’m Not Obsessed:   Madonna gets injured by paparazzi, oops

Gossip or Truth:   Prison Break update

Yeeeah:   Jessica Simpson is a Jezebel

Glitterati Gossip:   Hilary Duff’s stalker gets himself arrested

Hollywood Tuna:  Elle MacPherson & her fabulous nipples


Lindsay Lohan Lies to Oprah, Says She’s No Party Girl

lindsay-lohan-oprah-winfrey-show-11-8-2006.jpgWhat, is it about once or twice a week that we see pictures of Lindsay Lohan out partying in the wee hours of the morning?  Well, it looks like Ms. Lohan doesn’t feel that her reputation as a party girl is deserved, and that’s what she pretty much told Oprah Tuesday.

Lohan told Oprah, “I’m 20 years old. Is it a crime to go … dancing with your friends?”

In regards to her acting career, Lindsay revealed that she feels “lucky and blessed” that she has the ability to act.

“I’ve been acting my whole life and this is what I love to do,” Lohan stated.

Our response here at Celebrific is that Lindsay Lohan does love to act, act a fool.






It looks like Britney Spears has already started celebrating her split from estranged husband Kevin Federline.  Tuesday the pop star was spotted ice skating at the Rockafeller Center in New York City.

And who is this new cat you are skating with, Brit?  Rebound Britney already has an ice skating partner on the go.  Well, I have to say she looks beautiful, something that I have not been able to say of Ms. Spears since late 2004.  It looks like she has shed her reptile skin & gotten rid of the trash.  Way to go, Brit!  But damn, girl, aren’t your nipples just about to fall off from the cold?

Anna Nicole Smith Alive & Well Again



And speaking of Anna Nicole Smith, it looks like the former Playboy Playmate is among the living once again.  Smith has been released from the Bahamas hospital where she was receiving treatment for pneumonia. 

38-year-old Anna Nicole checked into a local hospital on October 30 complaining for a pain in her side, upon evaluation it was determined by physicians that Smith had a collapsed lung due to a severe case of pneumonia.  But now it looks like the lung has bucked-up and the lady is feeling much better.

“I think it takes quite some time to recover from a collapsed lung, and you have to keep up the breathing exercises for some time,” Anna Nicole’s attorney Wayne Munroe stated.

“But she’s shown a high threshold for pain, having been through so much recently.”

Damn straight, never again will I subject these eyes to that gruesome Cesarean section video, never again, never again.


Anna Nicole Smith Cesarean Section Video

anna-nicole-smith-dannielynn-hope-11-82006.jpgI’m not sure why this is on the web, but it’s here nonetheless.  I know you’ve been absolutely dying to see Anna Nicole Smith’s Cesarean section video as Dannielynn Hope was torn from her womb, and now you can thanks to YouTube.

To celebrate Dannielynn Hope’s 2 months in the world, I thought you might wanna take a look at this fine cinematography, preferably after breakfast.

This footage, which ran on Entertainment Tonight, is a bit graphic so make sure your heart is devoid of conditions and that you’re tall enough to get on the ride.  Hold on tight, it’s a shaky one!

Britney Spears & Kevin Federline Divorce: Why Now?

britney-spears-on-top-again-11-8-2006.pngSo, we’ve all thought for a good while now that the best thing for Britney Spears would be to get the hell out of Kevin Federline land.  And it looks like Brit has finally come around to our side of thinking, but why now?  What happened to the pop star for her to make this step now?  Why has Britney Spears just now filed for divorce from hubby Kevin Federline?

Well, according to friends close to Spears & K-Fed, the two had a big blowout last week that may have pushed the marriage over the cliff & beyond, leaving it a battered, old thing with barely a heartbeat.  Did I go overboard there?

Reportedly at a party for Kevin’s new worldly terror, or as other people seem to like to call it, his new album release, Brit & Federline got into it.  On October 31 in LA at club Xenii while K-Fed was working the crowd, Britney was upstairs, hidden in a dressing room.

Before the Halloween night was over, the black minidress-wearing Spears made a dramatic exit.  According to once source at the scene, “She ran down the stairs crying and stormed out.  Her eyes were swollen and her eyeliner was smudged. She looked like a complete mess.”  Did Kevin try running after his upset wife?  Did dutiful husband run after his love?  Why, no he did not.  Surprised?  Probably not.

Still matters were made worse when Britney started crying in public on November 2 while was dining with a friend at Library.  An onlooker revealed, “She cried on and off the whole meal.”
So, there we have it.  The days leading up to Britney making the best decision this year.  Britney, we’re behind you 100% and we are so, so, so happy that you’re back on the sane side of things.


Britney Spears Files for Divorce from Kevin Federline

britney-spears-kevin-federline-11-8-2006.bmpOK, that’s it, bring out the balloons, bring out the singing band, bring out the flowers, bring out the whole damn party for Britney Spears has finally come to her ever-lovin’ senses!  Tuesday Spears filed for a petition of divorce from husband Kevin Federline in a Los Angeles court.  The pop star cited “irreconcilable differences” as her reason for such action, although had I been the judge, I would have been fine with “I finally came to my damn senses,” but that’s just me.

In her petition to the LA courts, Spears has asked for legal & physical custody of her & K-Fed’s children, 1-year-old Sean Preston & 2-month-old Jayden James.  Britney has also filed for Kevin to receive visitation rights, well at least she’s doing this thing right for once. 

Fortunately for Brit, when the couple married in September 2004, she drew up a tight prenuptial agreement.  Spears has waived her right to spousal support and has requested that each party pay for their own layer’s fees.  So, no wonder K-Fed is looking for every opportunity to make some cash, did I call that or did I call that?

The actual day of separation is recorded as Monday, the same day Brit made a un-Britlike surprise appearance on David Letterman.  I guess she needed a little pick-me-up, and what better place that David’s? 

As far as who’s representing Spears in this high-profile divorce, she has hired on powerhouse attorney Laura Wasser who names Angelina Jolie, Nick Lachey & Kiefer Sutherland as clients.  Good luck topping (and trying to pay) for that, K-Fed.

Wow!  I never thought this day would come, there were rumors, there were whispers, it actually almost happened earlier this year, but now, now, the terrible torture is over!  Hooray for Britney Spears!  The woman is finally free & has come around to the good side.  But I’ll tell you, I think this one’s going to be messy.  I wonder what’s on Justin Timberlake’s mind?……


Britney Spears On Letterman Pictures



I finally found a good picture of the new, lovely Britney Spears on the Late Show with David Letterman Monday.

Spears has re-invented herself into a much better Brit.  The pop diva has traded the extensions in for a blonde bob and that black outfit really works her legs & her baby-weight-free bod.

Congrats to Britney for coming out of the redneck closet for a day at least!

Kevin Federline is the New Google Search Engine

kevin-federline-next-google-search-engine-11-7-2006.jpgSo, umm, K-Fed thinks he’s a brand now, what do you know about that?  Apparently Kevin Federline is the new Google as he & Prodege Search have joined up together to start, barforama!  What the hell?  Kevin knows that his marriage is failing, that he actually can’t rap & this is what he’s come up with?! 

Basically this new search engine will give K-Fed fans what they were already getting through Yahoo! & Google, a place to search for the things you want & are interested in, but now you get to do it with K-Fed.  I guess this is the best way to do it with K-Fed, since you won’t be left with venereal diseases after, or will you?….

A bonus feature of is that you get a search-and-win option, hooray!  There are, count them, 20 chances throughout the day to win K-Fed prizes such as autographed t-shirts & albums.  And isn’t that worth any venereal disease?

Director of business development for Prodege, Scott Dudelson, stated, Kevin’s a good, cool dude, and he’s popular.  He gets a lot of beatings, but a lot of people like him. Despite the talk about him, he’s got a lot of fans.”

Did you catch that, Kevin is a cool dude.  Well if that’s all it takes to get your won search engine, sign me up!


Ashley Olsen Spotted Sporting Brunette Hair





Newly dyed brunette Ashley Olsen was spotted Monday in Beverly Hills sporting her new locks. 

So, really, what do you think?  Is Ashley pulling it off?

brooks-dunn-cma-awards-11-7-2006.jpgWell, it was a night filled with spectacle & entertainment as the 40th Annual Country Music Association Awards hit the stage Monday.  Kenny Chesney won the coveted entertainer of the year while Brooks & Dunn’s hit song Believe won three awards including Single of the Year & Song of the Year.

“This year has in ways been the most emotionally satisfying year and also the most emotionally draining year of my life,” Chesney stated.  Kenny was of course referring to his roller coaster ride marriage & high-profile split with Renee Zellweger last year.

“There have been so many ups and downs, it’s been like a huge emotional roller coaster ride,” Kenny went on to say.

One of the most moving events of the evening was when the Top Male Vocalist award was announced, and Keith Urban won the prestigious award.  Urban, who is currently in an alcohol rehabilitation center, received a standing ovation while his award was accepted by Ronnie Dunn.

Dunn read a letter to the crowd penned by Urban thanking his wife Nicole Kidman, “To my wife, Nicole, I love you.”

“I’m looking forward to coming home and seeing you all soon.”

Dunn smiled & said, “We love you Keith good luck, brother.”

Wow, you gotta love how the country starts do it up.  Congrats to all the winners!


Jenny McCarthy & Jim Carrey Spotted in Santa Monica




Sharing the same taste in hairdos, Jenny McCarthy & beau Jim Carrey were spotted in Santa Monica.  The two had just come out of Fred Segal where they were seen doing a bit of shopping.

I have to say, they look quite natural together, or maybe it’s just the hair…





There’s only one way to really work a room, which is apparently to hide under your pal’s jacket.  Hotel heiress Paris Hilton & super skinny Nicole Richie were spotted heading to Hyde nightclub Thursday, with Nicole sporting some new locks.

The newly reinstalledBFF darted into Hyde right after we were able to recognize the new dark brunette Richie. 

Whatcha think, do you like Nicole’s new do?



I know it really looks like Jessica Simpson, but it appears as if Britney Spears has learned how to dress herself.  Spears was spotted Monday in New York City as she headed for the Late Show with David Letterman.

Britney has been all the talk lately as she has skipped out on any public appearances as of late with husband Kevin Federline to promote his new album.  Trouble in marital paradise?  Although I doubt being married to K-Fed is anything like paradise. 

What do you think?  Has Britney grown up & learned how to dress?


Adrienne Shelly’s Murderer Diego Pillco Confesses

adrienne-shelly-murder-11-7-2006.jpgOn a sad day on November 1, Adrienne Shelly’s husband found her hanging from a shower rod in her Manhattan office; police & family assumed the indie actress’ death an unfortunate suicide.  Until, that is, 19-year-old construction worker Diego Pillco was arrested Monday in connection to death of Shelly. 

Reports are now coming in that Pillco allegedly punched the petite Shelly when she complained about the construction noise he was making.  The heavy punch to such a small woman, reports claim, instantly killed her.  Pillco has admitted to dragging her body upstairs to her West Village office and positioning her body so that it would make her death appear a suicide.   

Adrienne Shelly is best known for her roles in the films Trust, The Unbelievable Truth & Sleeping with Strangers.  Shelly is survived by her husband Andy Ostroy and her 3-year-old daughter Sophie.  What a sad, unnecessary loss.



Keira Knightley & Rupert Friend Dress Like Mimes



I’ve come to expect just about anything in the outfit department from British actress Keira Knightley & boyfriend Rupert Friend, but dressing up as mimes is the last straw.

The couple were spotted doing a bit of shopping at Fred Segal on Melrose.  Apparently, in mime-like fashion, Keira consulted a sales clerk & the duo then made a purchase from the jewelry counter- assumingly some mime-loving jewels.



Michelle Williams & beau Heath Ledger were spotted Saturday enjoying a peaceful stroll in their Brooklyn, New York neighborhood.

Heath is looking a little less homeless and Michelle is as lovely as always.  1-year-old Matilda looks snug as a bug in a rug in her stroller and the whole family seems to be doing tip top.

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