So there are still heiresses around not named Hilton. Even better, they are crazier than that one Hilton girl who is pretty damn crazy. As you can see she is on crack and Tila Tequila is her usual self. I mean look at them. Don’t they look so adorable together?
Wait, I’m supposed to report something here. Oh yeah, they are supposedly engaged. Her family is worth billions and their daughter is set to get all the money when they die and she is a lesbian, which don’t get me wrong isn’t bad, it’s just that she is a crackhead lesbian.
Do I have a thing against crackheads? You’re damn right I do. You invite them in for some food and next thing you know you are missing a toilet and a leg from your chair. Do you know how disconcerting it is to wake up in the middle of the night and take a dump on your floor and sit in it? Of course you do, those are probably your usual Friday nights.
Here is Tila saying some nonsense.
“This is exclusive and going to be all over the news tomorrow, but because I love you guys so much, we are giving you the exclusive first — Tila army fans — tonight, my girlfriend has asked me to marry her!”
She then flashed a ring, which she said is a “17-carat diamond ring from my baby. It’s so fat you can’t even see it! So yeah, my baby got me this 17-carat ring. My baby takes care of me. Beat that J.Lo! Beat that Khloe and Lamar!
When I want to throw something in someone’s face I always talk noise to the bench warmer basketball player and his red-headed stepdaughter wife.