Tiger Breaks Record On The First 9 Hoes

Holly Sampson

This is starting to get out of hand. A report by US Magazine states that 9 women have come out to claim they have had sex with Tiger since his marriage. One being a pornstar. Since this is all turning into a joke I have decided to make a game of it myself and predict what the final tally of women will be before the December 20th deadline (that is a random deadline). I’m going with 17.

He will fall one hole short of completing the course and play will be suspended due to bad weather.

Get this, the cow pictured above is the alleged pornstar that had a relationship with Tiger Woods, her name is Holly Sampson. Although she has come out and made these claims, she has no comment on the matter according to her attorney. How that makes any sense is beyond me, I am just a simple man who wishes nothing more that for peace on Earth.

If he hadn’t crashed that car this would’ve never happened. This is why George Jetson has yet to be caught. Can’t crash a hovercroft into a fire hydrant.