John Mayer Starts The Apocalypse


So the story goes like this, John Mayer goes to Butter nightclub in NYC. Lindsay Lohan goes to Butter nightclub in NYC. Samantha Ronson is DJing at Butter nightclub in NYC. Do I even need to finish?

Lindsay sat at John’s table. John worked some moves with Samantha and got her to come join his table. The three had a great time and went their separate ways…or did they? Have you ever known John Mayer to pass up on a piece of the pie? Have you known Lindsay Lohan to miss eating the last sausage on the grill?

This is what came from their Twitter accounts that fateful night.

@johncmayer shhhhhhhhhhhhhh butter-face 🙂


I’ve got to finish boning my mistress early so that I can go home and explain to my kid that he’s lost a role model. What a shame.


Now I’m not saying they boned, but they had sex. Please do not bother to reach the CDC in Atlanta because the whole facility has been relocated to New York to handle the STD apocalypse. The Mayans believed the world would end in 2012 through natural disasters. This is completely and utterly false. The world will end when the orgy of Lindsay Lohan, John Mayer, Paris Hilton, Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt and Carrot Top has reached its pinnacle and giant crab-like monsters roam the Earth.

I will be safely stowed away in my Trojan covered bunker. Did you know Twinkies last forever?

If you really care to follow these events, Celebitchy has much more info.