Back when we reported that Brittany Murphy had secretly married Simon Monjack in April, several readers responded that Murphy had better watch out, that ole Simon spelled trouble for the starlet.

And you were right, readers, as usual.  Murphy & Factory Girl producer & writer Monjack surprised everyone by announcing they had married in April after only a few months of dating.  The duo exchanged rings at a private LA home with only their families present, and didn’t even opt for a honeymoon.  

According to reports, Monjack may not be what he first appeared to be to innocent Murphy.  With two outstanding warrants for his arrest in Virginia, for credit card theft & general fraud; an unpaid $6k legal bill as well as a $500k judgement against him by a British investment firm, this sounds more like an Oprah book than a Hollywood marriage.

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Just like an older sibling ruining the way for the younger ones, Lindsay Lohan may have ruined Los Angeles’ hotspot Les Deux’s reputation.  Hours before LL crashed her car & received a DUI for her trouble, Lohan had reportedly been partying at the nightclub.  But according to the owners, Lohan wasn’t boozing it up at their joint.

“Les Deux is a restaurant, open five nights a week, and there is no age limit for our patrons. Lindsay had dinner at Les Deux that night and waited for friends to pack up the DJ supplies, thus leaving Les Deux after closing. Because of the enormous paparazzi presence outside of Les Deux that night, we allowed her to stay late and wait for her friends. She was not drinking at Les Deux, and left driven by her driver.”

Oh, but we don’t mind underage coke-snorting…..

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TMZ:  Celine Dion & her son look just alike, which isn’t such a good thing at six-years-old 

Us Weekly:  Boo!  No tell-all Jennifer Aniston book! 

Filmsy:  You’ll be getting Harry before you thought you were 

PopSugar:  Actress Kate Winslet is apparently picture-perfect, you agree?  

HollyScoop:  Nicole Richie is skinny and confused  

Sorry to all you Lakers fans, but it appears as if basketball superstar Kobe Bryant is asking to be traded from the infamous team.  On Wednesday, Bryant openly asked to be traded from the team, after he called the front office “a mess.” 

Bryant revealed to ESPN radio,”I would like to be traded, yeah.”

“Tough as it is to come to that conclusion there’s no other alternative. It’s rough man, but I don’t see how you can rebuild that trust. I just don’t know how you can move forward in that type of situation.”

Longtime “Frasier” star & Tony-nominated actor David Hyde Pierce is finally & officially out of the closet.  No big surprise there, was it?

But the news wasn’t so much voluntary.  AfterElton.com recently published a story about Pierce where they alluded to his “partner” Brian Hargrove.  So, alarm bells went off that the 48-year-old actor might be coming out of the closet.

Once the website called to confirm with Pierce’s rep if the pairing was accurate, the news was confirmed.

I don’t think we really needed a big blow-out story for news that David Hyde Pierce is gay.  Just ask anyone who watched “Frasier”.

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Rarely does the word dude appropriately fit anyone, but I think with actor Matthew McConaughey it’s a golden fit.

McConaughey was spotted barefoot at LAX Tuesday toting around a very large surfboard.  I was kinda hoping that Matt was just high & being ridiculous at the Los Angeles airport, but in actuality ole Matty was filming a scene for his upcoming comedy Surfer Dude.

See, dude just fits, doesn’t it?

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Well, it’s coming around the corner.  Paris Hilton will soon be heading off to jail to serve her time for driving with a suspended license.  And it looks like officials have already picked her out a nice cell mate. 

According to reports, Hilon’s cell mate has been hand-picked & is reportedly a perfect match for the heiress.  Hmmm, is Heidi Fleiss there again or something?

The woman Paris will be getting to know intimately is already in the cell that the two love birds will be sharing.  Maybe she’s already knitting her some personalized pillows….

Sources reveal that there is a “written protocol” being established at the jail for Paris’ stay that details”when and how things should be done for her.”

Jeez, I’ll bet it’s someone’s very unlucky day when Paris Hilton comes to stay at your day.  Actually, it sounds like “The Simple Life” episode, now don’t it?

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This one’s going to be a tough call.  Usually whenever hottie Halle Berry is in question, she’s a sure win, but with Leonardo DiCaprio’s model girlfriend, I dunno.

Berry was seen gracing a pre-Oscar bash with this amazing golden gown by Elie Saab while Bar Refaeli was spotted wearing the gown at Cannes last week.  So, you tell me, who’s it gonna be?

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Clean-cut Brad Pitt was spotted back on the set of his movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button in Montreal this week.  Doesn’t he looks so adorably fresh & debonaire?

Now that Cannes is behind us, it looks like partner Angelina Jolie & Pitt can get back to their daily lives of filming & taking the kids to school.  Ahhh, sounds like the life…

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“Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans, even though we have no…clue what Memorial Day really means!!…There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!”

~Nicole Richie

I have to admit, I don’t think I’d make into the party, myself.

TMZ:  Lawyer Opri tells Larry Birkhead to pay the heck up 

Us Weekly:  Lindsay Lohan’s pop thought the star had overdosed 

Filmsy:  Pirates 4 on hold for now 

PopSugar:   Nicole Richie & Mischa Barton pre-hospitalization 

HollyScoop:   MTV Big Ten scoop 

Teen queen Lindsay Lohan has checked into rehab once again.  Lohan was actually driven to Promises Rehab Center in Malibu on Monday afternoon by her attorney Blair Berk around 4:30pm. 

A rep for Lohan stated, “Lindsay admitted herself to an intensive medical rehabilitation facility on Memorial Day. Because this is a medical matter, it is our hope that the press will appreciate the seriousness of the situation and respect the privacy of Lindsay as well as the other patients receiving treatment at the facility. There will be no other official comments regarding this issue.”

According to sources, Lindsay will be receiving some “serious medical treatment” compared to the plush treatment she enjoyed during her short stint at Wonderland last January.

This rehab visit comes on the heels of a wild Memorial Day weekend for Lohan where the actress did her fair share of partying & playing dead.

Maybe this go-round will wake ole Lindsay up & she can start realizing it’s not the 80s anymore.

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The Mary-Kate of the Olsen twins was spotted kissing a mystery man on Monday, which further leads me to believe that some people actually find the whole hobo in heels thing attractive.

The tiny-framed, chain-smoking twin enjoyed a nice, long walk with her nice, tall man on Memorial Day, but no clues as of yet who this new dude will turn out to be.

Karma can be a bitch, but that doesn’t mean you have to be one.  Apparently good ole Britney Spears is actually pleased that former BFF Paris Hilton will soon be behind bars for driving with a suspended license.

According to OK! magazine, Spears is happy that Hilton’s headed off to the slammer & blames the hotel heiress for ruining her reputation before she ended up in rehab herself. 

An insider reveals, “Britney is relieved to have distanced herself from her ex-party buddy.  Rest assured - you won’t see Britney speaking to Paris through the glass petition in the jail on visiting day…�  

The source goes on to say that Brit “blames Paris for a lot of her image problems that she had before rehab.”

“Britney is happy to be living clean and sober, far away from Paris’ mess. She’s also glad that the attention of making mistakes is now on somebody else.�

Wow, that’s kinda harsh, Brit.  But then again you might have a good point about Paris ruining your rap.

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As the summer of thirds continues, Johnny Depp’s Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End debuted this weekend & earned a whopping $156 million at the box office, despite overall negative reviews.

With Shrek the Third & Spider-Man 3 already making their weekend premieres, which movie is at the top of your third list?

“I am very distressed by the sensationalism of everything… People are getting attention for doing nothing, for behaving poorly, for abusing themselves in public and being abused, exploiting themselves. I find it vulgar and I find it awful.”

~Sarah Jessica Parker

Ocean’s 13 costars George Clooney & Matt Damon did some Angelina Jolie dissing in an interview recently.

The two known pranksters called Jolie “that horrible ugly wife” of fellow actor Brad Pitt.  The duo went on to say that “Brad has had it tough” between being “hobbled with children.”  

Clooney said that Brad should just go ahead & kill himself to get out of that horrible situation he got himself in.   

Those two crazy kids, you just don’t know what they’re gonna do next, do you?

Check out the interview here.

TMZ:  Ouch, Miss USA eats the Mexican pavement 

Us Weekly:  Lindsay Lohan & Hilary Duff end their feud  

Filmsy:  Matt Damon says he’s open for more Ocean’s  

PopSugar:  Jessica Simpson & John Mayer try to work it out 

HollyScoop:  The teen queen does check into rehab