Michelle Rodriguez is free & so are well, unless you’re French.  Rodriguez has been released from prison after serving just hours of her 60-day drunk driving sentence.  Michelle celebrated by getting drunk & driving, I imagine.

The Lost star checked herself into a Los Angeles jail last Thursday only to be released after just 4 hours & 27 minutes behind bars.  I guess she was as annoying there as she is in the reality TV world and they decided to do themselves a favor.  Apparently the quick release was due to overcrowding & budget problems in the Los Angeles jail system.

Well if Michelle lives up to her word, the US is done with her as she is with us.  Before reporting to jail Rodriguez told the press, “I’m moving to France… People don’t bother you there. I do what I got to do and then I leave the country and never come back.”

She’s moving a little slow on her promise, I’d have to say, as she was spotted ringside at the Ultimate Fighting Championship in LA Saturday.

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Hollywood Tuna:  Halle Berry is a very pretty person as well as Tuna’s new look

The Superficial:  Kevin Federline deserves ‘Douchebag of the Year’ award

Egotastic:  Paris Hilton gets us all worked up, again & again & again

D Listed:  Elizabeth Taylor not dead, just crazyfied

 

Director Sofia Coppola is expecting her first child with French rocker boyfriend Thomas Mars.  According to Coppola’s rep she is already three months pregnant.

The blissful couple announced their happy news at Cannes where the director’s latest film, Marie Antoinette premiered & received boos last week. 

The new beau Thomas Mars is not widely known in the US, but his French pop-rock band Phoenix is hoping to spread their fame past Europe.  Sofia tried to give him a leg-up in the States by using his song Too Young for the soundtrack of her acclaimed Lost in Translation.

Sofia Coppola was married for four years to Adaptation director Spike Jonze. The couple divorced in 2003 & had no children together.  You know I thought that would be the perfect marriage- two immensely inventive & intelligent directors living a life of love & creativity-driven bliss.  But I guess Sofia prefers a little more rock ‘n roll in her life.

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Teen queen Lindsay Lohan plans to move to London for the summer.  Why you ask?  Why don’t you guess from the following:

• A:  To visit & be in awe of the British Museum
• B:  In order to improve her manners
• C:  To find out how big Big Ben actually is
• D:  For to chase a boy

If you guessed A you’re off your rocker; B- you’re just a plain ignoramus; C- sounds kind of like the teen queen, but no; or D- you are a true genius & correct.

Lohan plans to move to London this summer to chase down a boy she met recently.  In a chat with Interview magazine, the actress let slip that she’s fallen for a limey. 

Lindsey Lohan confesses, “I want to get a place in London. I kind of like a boy in London.”

Wow.  That’s nice.  Moving to England because you like a boy.  How ’bout someone sponsoring me to move to Germany this summer because I like a boy named Rooney.

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PopSugar:  Jennifer Aniston & Vince Vaughn do Chicago

The Superficial:  Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie give back to Namibia

Just Jared:  Jude Law & Sienna Miller back together again

Egotastic:  Keira Knightley drunk & less fashionable than desirable

Socialite’s Life:  Katie Holmes, not your typical softball player

Angelina Jolie finally gave birth Saturday by Cesarean section to a healthy baby girl.  Jolie was taken to a local private hospital in Namibia under tight security.

The doctor who delivered the Jolie-Pitt baby stated, ”She is a healthy baby.”

The baby’s name- Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.  The name is of Hebrew origin meaning ‘His gift’. 

In Springfield, Missouri Brad Pitt’s family celebrated the news & were delighted with the health of child & mother. 

”It’s an exciting time for Brad and Angie, and we are really happy for them and the kids,” Brad’s brother, Doug Pitt, told the press.

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MTV’s Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari is set to take over Jessica Simpson’s role as Daisy Duke in the next Dukes of Hazzard movie.  This is rather interesting since it has been rumored that Cavallari dated Simpson’s estranged hubby Nick Lachey earlier this year.

The film’s producer Bill Gerber is working on a prequel to the Dukes of Hazzard film, can we really call it a film?  Gerber desperately wants to cast Kristin in the role of Daisy Duke, the movie that marked Simpson’s film debut.  Why the hell do I keep calling this made-for-the-masses movie a film? 

Gerber explains, “She’s at the top of the list. I like her innocence and her beauty.  It’s a prequel, like Batman. We’re going for a whole new cast.”

I’m not sure which is more disturbing, the fact that there’s an audience for another damn Dukes of Hazzard or that Gerber thinks Cavallari innocent.

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PopSugar:  Nick Lachey’s new peasant-girl chick

The Superficial:  Kate Moss acts a little like Pete Doherty

Egotastic:  The French will hate Michelle Rodriguez

Socialite’s Life:  Beyonce Knowles tells Jay-Z he’s gotta loose the weight

Just Jared:  Jennifer Aniston & Vince Vaughn’s The Break-Up bombs

The Daily Mirror has been reporting some juicy Britney Spears & Kevin Federline news today.  Apparently K-Fed has been banished to the basement of their California mansion & reports of a split between the two have not been denied by Spears’ publicist.  Praise Xenu, has the girl finally come to her senses?  Will there really be a Splitney? 

The recent stress on their relationship, as if Federline’s oozing redneckness wasn’t enough, is due to Spears returning from New York this week only to find aspiring dumbass, I mean rapper, smoking it up & drinking in the house. 

Britney had hoped to save the marriage for the sake of their son Sean Preston & their unborn child due in October, but it looks like the pop princess has just lost her patience. 

A close friend stated, “She wanted to wait but their relationship has become so hostile she just doesn’t see how she can make it work.”

Another stress had been K-Fed choosing to spend Mother’s Day with his ex-love Shar Jackson & their two children, while Britney spent it alone with the Manny. 

I have to say that as soon as the two finally & officially call it quits, I will commence the ‘The damn girl finally came to her senses’ dance. 

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Whilst in Germany touring the countryside via helicopter, socialite Paris Hilton heard nature calling.  She, being the calm & considerate lady she is, tried to ignore the call until it came barking mad at her door. 

Paris demanded the pilot of the craft to immediately land the non-bathroom acommodating helicopter so she could relieve herself.  The quick-on-the-draw pilot realized he was close to a friend’s farmhouse & proceeded to land in his fields.  I’m not sure why Paris didn’t pee right then & there, it makes more sense for the Paris I know to show her thang in as public a place as possible. 

Hilton was able to make it to the German farmer’s house without a drop spilled & now the same German farmer is trying to turn lemons into lemonade, as it were.  The ingenious farmer is looking to auction the actual, don’t get too excited now, toilet seat the young hotel princess put her delicate derriere upon. 

I think I’m now going to erect a sign in my yard that states simply, “If you have any celebrity clout, please pee here.”  I think I could make a small fortune. 

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PopSugar:  Liv Tyler looking lovely at the Free Arts benefit in New York

The Superficial:  Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey love fireworks

Just Jared:  Britney Spears sporting the belly & still wearing she’s-going-to-fall-down shoes

Jossip:  Wilmer Valderrama remains annoying & in love with his penis

Hollywood Tuna:  Ashlee Simpson on the set of her new video ‘Invincible’

The silver, sly fox Taylor Hicks, 29, claimed the American Idol crown last night with a stellar performance over the sometimes clunky-noted 22-year-old Hollywood native Katharine McPhee.

Hicks charmed audiences from the beginning of the fifth season of American Idol with his raw bluesy singing and his I-don’t-care-what-you-think dancing.  Over 200 million people worldwide watched the two-hour finale Wednesday & 63.4 million votes were cast- now making American Idol more interesting to the public than presidential elections & Stephen King.

The Birmingham, Alabama singer shouted ‘Soul Patrol’ after his victory was announced over McPhee.  Hicks’ win was not without expectation, as he had never been in the bottom three picks until there were only three left & on Tuesday judge Simon Cowell predicted his win.  And I believe it’s Simon, Stephen, that truly has the strange powers here. 

The elaborate & star-studded show featured a surprise performance by Prince & last season’s Idol winner Carrie Underwood. The final five Idols each performed a solo with many being accompanied by famous singers - Paris Bennett sang with the legendary Al Jarreau & Hicks performed an entertaining “In the Ghetto” with Toni Braxton.

Chris Daughtry sang with band Live while McPhee joined Meatloaf for a tune on his new album- somehow that pairing makes a lot of sense.  Mary J. Blige made an appearance with Elliot Yamin & performed her song “One”.  Yamin was introduced by his mother who won a Golden Idol for the ‘Proudest Parental Moment’.  Other Golden Idols were handed out with sarcasm to the worst of the early Idols. 

In a cute segment, Kellie Pickler who has become known for her inability to pronounce the words ‘calamari’ & ‘salmon‘ correctly was featured with celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck who tried to educate the poor dear on hew foods & pronunciation techniques. 

All in all, it was a fabulous end to the fifth season.  Now if we can just get t-shirts made with ‘Soul Patrol’ we’re good to go.

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Filmmaker Sofia Coppola received many a boos last night when her most recent film, Marie Antoinette, was shown at a press screening at the Cannes Film Festival last night.  But the daring moviemaker has kept her head above the sometimes sticky jeering to remain strong and passionate about her work.

Coppola states, “It’s better to get a reaction, it’s better than a mediocre response.  Hopefully some people will enjoy it. I think it’s not for everybody.” 

Marie Antoinette stars Kirsten Dunst, who also appeared in Coppola’s The Virgin Suicides, & British actor Steve Coogan.  Sofia admits she found the Cannes press screening to be “disappointing”, she insists that she always knew the film would provoke debate. 

Dunst said, “I like the movie and I’m really proud.”

Coogan added, “When you make something that’s personal and specific it’s inevitable that there will be some naysayers, and it’s better to have that than just have a bland uniform response.

“I think it shows that Sofia is true to her voice. I’ve seen the film and it’s consistent with all the qualities that make her films great in the past. People who like Sofia Coppola will love this film. People who don’t won’t but then they’re not really under her radar anyway.”

Marie Antoinette premiers in Cannes this evening.  Hopefully the story of its reception will be less tragic than that of the French Queen. 

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Gossip Or Truth:  Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban request no presents & no prenup

Egotastic:  Bai Ling is pretty cute in Cannes & so is her nipple

PopSugar:  Bruce Willis looking a little older & a little wetter in Cannes

The Superficial:  Brad Pitt pulls a Britney Spears

Just Jared:  Christian Bale sporting black & getting busted

 

Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt have asked Namibian governor Samuel Nuuyoma to name their, as of right now, unborn child.  Nuuyoma was asked to name their baby over dinner with the celebrity couple. 

He states, “When she (Angelina) goes to the hospital, as the father of the region, I will be informed and I will go there. I will announce the good news and I will be naming the baby.”

Local custom indicates that when Jolie goes into labor, Nuuyoma will be called upon and will officially name the child.  The governor is keeping a tight lid over any possible names for the child, which according to Pitt is “due any time now”.  Maybe that would be a good name- Introducing the Any Time Now baby, brought to you by Jolie & Pitt. 

Due to Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt’s interest in Namibia and her people, many locals feel the day Angelina gives birth should be a national holiday, an honor traditionally reserved for royalty or national heroes.  I myself wouldn’t mind an extra day off here in the States, however silly the occasion.

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Brokeback Mountain starlet Michelle Williams is having a bit of family trouble.  Her father Larry Richard Williams was arrested on Saturday in Australia for allegedly failing to pay US taxes.  
 
Larry Williams was detained in Australia this weekend after US authorities issued a warrant for his return on charges of evading $1.5 million in income tax.  Mr. Williams is a celebrated share-trading guru who travels extensively claiming to reveal his stock market secrets.  I’m thinking his clients might want to avoid the secrets of evading income tax.  The star’s father is being accused of creating false documents and using several bank accounts to evade his large tax bill.

Williams, who arrived in Sydney via South Africa, was due to guest speak at a series of financial seminars across the country.  Ummm.  Isn’t this like Michael Jackson guest speaking for No Child Left Behind or Michelle Rodriguez presenting a speech on behalf of Mothers Against Drunk Drivers? 

Williams has been released on bail, been ordered to stay in Sydney, forced to surrender his passport & must report into the police three times a day.  Sounds like a prescription for trouble.  Williams is due to return to court on May 29. 

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PopSugar:  Denise Richards & Richie Sambora still gross & still going at it

The Superficial:  Paris Hilton has the perfect ‘job’

Egotastic:  Kirsten Dunst bikinis it up at Cannes

IDLYITW:  Heather Locklear finally gives in to it all

Pink Is The New Blog:  Madonna opens up her Confessions

Well, since Michelle Rodriguez loved jail the first time, being sentenced to 60 days in prison shouldn’t be so bad.  The Lost star is heading back for time for violation of her probation. 

Rodriguez was arrested in Honolulu on suspicion of drunk driving last December.  The arrest came just six months after she had pleaded no contest to a hit & run, drunk driving & driving with a suspended license in Los Angeles.  Rodriguez was placed on probation following the arrest.

The Hawaiian drunk driving incident violated Rodriguez’s California probation & Judge Rex Hesseman has sentenced her to serve 60 days in a Los Angeles jail, on top of extending her probation three more years to June 2009.  Michelle has also been ordered to complete a 30-day alcohol rehabilitation program & perform 30 days community service. 

I have to say, I doubt Michelle will be as chipper as she was the first time she got out of jail.  Maybe she & Charlie Sheen can be pen pals.  Get it, PEN pals?!  I kill myself. 

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Horror master Stephen King is an angry, angry man.  King is furious with ABC for scheduling the small-screen adaptation of his latest work, Desperation, at the same time as the American Idol finals.  Yep, that’s about the worst it could get.  You’d would have done better competing with the Olympics, sadly enough.
 
Stephen was dancing over happy rainbows because he was thrilled with the work director Mick Garris did with the TV adaptation of his novel, which stars Ron Pearlman & Annabeth Gish.  Now the poor man is horrified that his baby will be fighting for audiences with Fox’s American Idol finals.   

King has posted on his website, saying, “Those of you who are familiar with the wonderful world of television may have noticed that Desperation–probably the best TV movie to be made from my work–has been scheduled by ABC to run, not just against American Idol, but against the American Idol finals.

“But am I bitter? Hell, yes, I am bitter!

“Those of you who watch will get a gold star. Those of you who don’t, and watch American Idol instead… well, just remember: I have strange powers.”

Strange powers indeed.  When will I get my gold star?

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PopSugar:  Despite laugh-filled reviews, The Da Vinci Code cashes in

Perez Hilton:  Hugh Grant & Jemima Khan are kaput, wonder if it was that girly smooch that did them in?

Jut Jared:  Grab yourself a double helping of Hugh Jackman

The Superficial:  More of Britney Spears’ breakdown

Socialite’s Life:  The ironic juxtaposition of Paris Hilton at classy Cannes