You love her, you missed her, former talk show host Rosie O’Donnell is set to return to our TVs as the new co-host of The View.  

The comedienne let loose her own daytime show in 2002 so she could concentrate on raising her children with partner Kelli. 

According to reports,  ABC execs will announce the news that Rosie will take over Meredith Vieira’s role who is leaving to co-anchor the Today show.

Everybody Loves Raymond’s Patricia Heaton and news reporter Connie Chung have also been linked to the co-host availability.  Apparently the winner was decided via mud fight and O’Donnell won with a surprising S & M studded leather whip to Chung’s backside.

{Source}

JustJared:  The new look of Kelly Osbourne & her new man Kevin Zegers

PerezHilton:  Poor Pete Doherty is a very lost junkified man

ASocialitesLife:  Devil Wears Prada sneak & Michelle Pfeiffer is vying for a comeback

TheSuperficial:  More on the Denise Richards & Charlie Sheen smear campaign

Defamer:  Snoop Dog’s barking brawl

It looks like hot couple Angelina Pitt & Brad Jolie, I mean Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt will again hit movie screen together.  The Mr. & Mrs. Smith duo have recently been linked to the much-talked-about-but-never-actually-goes-into-filming movie based on Ayn Rand’s famous novel Atlas Shrugged.

Lionsgate Films purchased the rights to the film version of the 1957 novel, which is considered to be one of the most influential books of modern history.  I dunno, I’d pay good money to see gambler & fellow Russian writer Fyodor Dostoevsky take on Rand in the literary ring.

According to Variety, the paper which subscribes to the spice of life, Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt would play the lead roles of Dagny Taggart and John Gault.  I can see that.

Here’s an excerpt from Atlas Shrugged that describes Dagny in alluring detail, is this the perfect role for Jolie?

“He saw a girl standing on top of a pile of machinery on a flatcar.
She was looking off at the ravine, her head lifted, strands of
disordered hair stirring in the wind. Her plain gray suit was like a
thin coating of metal over a slender body against the spread of sun-
flooded space and sky. Her posture had the lightness and unself-
conscious precision of an arrogantly pure self-confidence. She was
watching the work, her glance intent and purposeful, the glance of
competence enjoying its own function. She looked as if this were
her place, her moment and her world, she looked as if enjoyment
were her natural state, her face was the living form of an active,
living intelligence, a young girl’s face with a woman’s mouth, she
seemed unaware of her body except as of a taut instrument ready to
serve her purpose in any manner she wished.”

You know, the more I read it the more convinced I am that I am the one to play this part!  Get Lionsgate on the phone, Jeeves!

The story revolves around the futuristic economic collapse of the US and illustrates Rand’s philosophy of objectivism.

Producers Howard and Karen Baldwin will adapt the 560,938-word novel into a feature film, a task I do not envy. 

Over the many years Clint Eastwood, Robert Redford & Faye Dunaway have had ties to the project.  It’s just another Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.  We’ll probably be lucky if we see it in our lifetime.

{Source}

For Celebrity blogs with photos, try these on for size:

PerezHilton:  Dean McDermott gets a lap dance from his honey Tori Spelling

Dailyblabber:  Recaps the fascinating world of American Idol

CelebrityBabies:  Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt & family have been named the most beautiful fam ever

Egotastic:  An almost look at Jessica Alba’s nipple & her wardrobe mishap

PopSugar:  Gwyneth Paltrow glows at New York’s Food Bank Can-Do Awards Dinner, damn her

I would like to officially apologize for the lack of photos today.  Having a spot of trouble with the server which I soon hope to rectify, otherwise I’m likely to go insane and continue to punch my computer.

Thanks for your patience during this troubling time & enjoy the new ‘Technical Difficulties’ category.

Hollywood icon Elizabeth Taylor, 74, is bedridden at her Bel Air home & is planning her funeral.  Taylor’s health has been deteriorating for some time and has worsened recently after her heart began to fail.  In the prime of her acting career she was famous for Cleopatra & Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Knowing she does not have much time left, the actress legend has begun planning her funeral & finalizing her will. Taylor is expected to be buried next to the love of her life, husband Richard Burton in Switzerland.  It is reported that Liz Taylor will be leaving the majority of her fortune to AIDS research.

A friend says, “Liz is inching closer to death every day and she knows it. It is not a pretty picture.  It is very sad, these days she is very depressed and has lost her lust for life, She’s finally given into the fact that she is living on borrowed time and it is very painful to see.”

And so the two will be reunited & leave us forever, or at least that’s how I’d like to think of it. 

{Source}

 

 

 

Baywatch babe and nipple-shower Pamela Anderson is so very excited that Jessica Simpson will be taking over her role as C.J. Parker in the upcoming Baywatch movie.

David Hasselhoff is set to star in the film as well, though probably not as his original muscle-bound character Mitch. 

Anderson wildly approves of Simpson filling her sexy shoes & invites Will Ferrell to the plate, “Oh, my goodness, she sure could (fill my shoes).  Will Ferrell should play David Hasselhoff.  That would be hot.”

There are rumors that Pamela Anderson has quite the campy humor.  Mayhaps this was one fine example?  Will Ferrell?  Sexy?  What the hell?  Yes, I do believe we are being witness to the mysterious and esoteric humor. 

{Source}

29-year-old Lost star Dominic Monaghan, he’ll always be Merry the hobbit to me, thinks he’s better than our sweetpants Paris Hilton.  The actor, who we cannot call a celebrity at this point, detests celebrities who point the spotlight at themselves.

Monaghan insists, “I’m not like Paris Hilton.  I don’t play that game of ‘Please leave me alone’ and then go to the Ivy and cry my eyes out.”  Poor Dominic, it looks like he has a problem with showing his soft side.

“I do say, ‘I’m not interested.’  I don’t have some sort of party scene or anything like that.  It’s fine if people play that game, but for me that’s something I try to keep at arm’s length.”

Hmmmm…  I’m not sure we would even care if Dominic Monaghan did have a party scene.  But I would be interested in seeing that arm’s length.

{Source}

 

PopSugar:  Lindsay Lohan loves her many men & Maggie Gyllenhaal flashes the engagement ice

TheSuperficial:  Kevin Costner exposes his perv side & good ole Britney Spears fires the baby-dropping nanny

Jossip:  Nick Lachey & Jessica Simpson get private & personal

HollywoodTuna:  Cindy Margolis’ Playboy boobies are bigger than my head

CelebritySmack:  The true & hideous face of Janice Dickinson

Tobey Maguire not only has a brand-spanking-new fiance, he will never suffer for lack of work.  Spider-Man Maguire has proposed marriage to his longtime girlfriend, daughter of Universal Studios president Ron Meyer, 28-year-old jewelry designer Jennifer Meyer.

Tobey reportedly dropped to one knee and asked for Jennifer’s hand in marriage with a beautiful & stacked Tiffany.  As a jewelry designer herself, I wonder what she made of the ring.  The cute couple have been dating since 2003 and share a home in LA. 

Maguire previously had intimate relations with Spider-Man co-star Kirsten Dunst and was engaged to actress Rashida Jones in 2002.  With Spidey 3 now currently in filming, Tobey will be a busy boy with wedding plans.

{Source}

Angelina Jolie is set to break her long silence on the Today show tomorrow morning.  Ann Curry spoke with the Hollywood vixen recently in an exclusive interview in Namibia where Jolie, Brad Pitt & family are currently residing. 

Angelina chose to conduct the talk as she wakled down a dirt road in Namibia.  Wearing an easy-going brown dress, trousers, cowboy boots & a head scarf the actress looked quite at home and comfortable. 

The Mr. & Mrs. Smith actress conveyed her passion and empathy for the suffering children of Africa to Curry.  Jolie even spoke of her own adopted daughter, Zahara Marley.

“She’s from a country where six million kids don’t go to school every year… Her mother died of AIDS and they wouldn’t have had any funds to send her to school.”

Ann Curry has been the only media person to be allowed an interview with Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt since their arrival in a fortress-like compound in the southern country of Namibia.  I think it’s only because she said Angelina & Brad could suck her blood.

{Source}

Is seems like it was just yesterday that Brit was pregnant.  Ah well, I guess we’re going to need another birthing sculpture.  As if dropping one child repeatedly wasn’t enough, Britney Spears, 24, and Kevin Federline, 28, are expecting another child.  Does this news in some way relate to the Brit & K-Fed ruckus this weekend & Spears skipping out on Federline’s Las Vegas debut party (pronounced ‘parte’)?  Hmmmm…

Did the conversation go a little something like this, “Listen babe, I love you.  What I mean to say is that I love your tight ass, which isn’t looking so tight these days by the way, and I love your retail value.  But damn, girl.  I can’t help it if I’m a fertile son-of-a-bitch.  I can just walk by a woman and get the bitch pregnant.  I’m what you would call a walking sperm bank.  Yeah, that’s it, a walking sperm bank.  Damn, that’s pretty good, I’ll have to remember that one.”

“But, K, I don’t know if I want to have another baby.  I’ve already dropped this one too many times to remember, we’ve had DCFS out to the house and I can’t even think to put baby Sean in the car seat.  What are we going to do with a second child?  And I need to start getting this bod back in shape for MTV, not stretching it back out again for another red neck child.  I just don’t know.  Maybe we need some time apart.  Yes, that’s it, some time apart.  Time for me to get my sanity back & try to understand why I married you in the first place.”

“Listen bitch, our situation is different. I ain’t gettin’ no divorce. F%$k that! I don’t believe in that shit. Once you get married, you’re in it for the fight. Nick and Jessica did their whole thing together. They really blew up together on that show. They deserve whatever they get and you deserve whatever you get, Brit.  Is that what you want, to fight?  ‘Cause I’m ready for that shit, Brit.  You bring it on, girl.”

“I’m going back to the hotel, enjoy your stupid little debut party.  By the way, the critics are right.  You really do suck.”

I think it went exactly that way.

Apparently the pregnant news was finally confirmed by US Weekly when Spears was spotted poolside at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas this past weekend sporting a red bikini and with a new bump.

This will be the second child for Britney Spears and husband Kevin Federline.  The couple, who have been married since late 2004, have a seven-month-old boy, Sean.  Federline has two children from a previous relationship with Moesha star Shar Jackson, whom he ran out on while she was six months pregnant.  What a hottie.

All I can say is that I hope Britney Spears comes to her senses and soon, K-Fed is an irksome fungus swallowing the poor girl into redneckness.

{Source}

 

 

It’s a happenin’ place, Namibia these days. Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt have turned the spotlight on the African country. Jolie recently threatened to leave Namibia, however, where she plans on giving birth to her & Brad Pitt’s child, if the couple does not receive any privacy from the press.

In a statement delivered by Jolie henchman Mickey Brett, the Jolie-Pitt family pleads for privacy. “We love Africa and to be here in Namibia with our family is very special for us. To the local people who have been so kind and gracious, thank you for making us feel at home. As for the press, we kindly ask for privacy so we can be free to enjoy this beautiful county with our children. Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt.” It think they forgot to put in, “If you don’t leave us be bitches, I’m going to release the bloody hound Mickey Brett and it’s not going to be pretty, I can tell you that much.”

Hmmm, so do Jolie & Pitt think the press will just pack up and leave after that moving statement? I wish the J-P fam solitude, but I fear it may be in vain. Or maybe not. Three French photographers were ordered to leave Namibia this week or face arrest. Others, including a Sunday Times photographer, have been issued statements that they are “prohibited / illegal” immigrants and have been given 48 hours to pack up, or face arrest themselves.

So, it looks like Namibia is trying to help Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt out by ousting the bad eggs. Namibian Prime Minister Nahas Angula has been a strong supporter of the J-P fam and has defended their right for privacy. He disagreed with the “public figure in a public place” principle saying, “They are not public people in the sense that are elected persons. An elected person has got a responsibility to the public, but someone who has a talent to be a good film star, that person is entitled to peace of mind like everyone else.”

“If that person says they don’t want to be photographed then, of course, that person deserves protection.” And isn’t that what nice boy Mickey Brett has been doing?

Sounds like some sucking up going on “a talent to be a good film star,” a little bit of Indecent Proposal on your mind, Minister. I do wonder, what about those other famous celebs that visit Namibia, do they have to qualify as a good film star to receive some peace & quiet?

Despite their need for seclusion, the J-P fam has taken in the sights. They made it to Walvis Bay to feast on some local cuisine at a queer hole-in-the-wall restaurant called Kentucky Fried Chicken. Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt have been spotted coming out of a jewelry store & at a pet shop where they were shopping for a turtle for Maddox. The celebrity couple also posed for a private photo session amid the dunes at Swakopmud, the photographs are said to have been sold for $700,000.

Which brings us to the biggie, when are we going to get to see baby Jolie-Pitt? It looks lilke People have the answer. Who would have guessed it? Just about everyone. People magazine have purchased the exclusive rights to the first photo of Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt’s baby. How much you ask? People will donate $3.5 million to Unicef in exchange for the sought-after pics.

Meanwhile, listeners to a Namibian radio station have urged the J-P fam to name the child ‘Naledi’ meaning ’star’ in Setswana. The seond favorite name was ‘Katiti’ which translates to ‘little one’ in Herero and Oshiwambo. How about just naming little Jolie-Pitt ‘$3.5′. I think it has a nice ring to it.

BTW- Is that Heath Ledger holding the carboard sign?

{Source}

TheSuperifical:  An almost dead Paris Hilton & An absolutely gross Richie Sambora kisses Bond girl Denise Richards

PopSugar:  Britney Spears boo-hoos over Kevin Federline & comforts the young with a little smoke of the joint

PinkIsTheNewBlog:  K-Fed shows us how it’s done, or rather how it shouldn’t be done

Egotastic:  Sienna Miller & Jude Law confuse & confound us

CityRag:  Recent birthday girl Barbara Streisand will never give up the stretch pants, so don’t even ask, damn you

 

According to legal papers filed by former Bond girl and Richie Sambora kisser Denise Richards, she left Charlie Sheen last year because he’s a crazy son-of-a-bitch.  
 
In legal documents filed Friday in Los Angeles, Denise claims Sheen was obsessed with conspiracy theories surrounding the 9/11 terrorist attack and the death of O.J. Simpson’s wife, Nicole.  I guess he thinks the glove did fit.  Sheen reportedly even showed Richards photographs of the slain Nicole (how does one get those?) and appeared to be mesmerized by the autopsy photos.  At this point, Richards knew it was time to get packin’, grab the gun and the luggage.

Richards reveals, “Respondent’s (Sheen) behavior was totally irrational. The Respondent became paranoid.

“Respondent began to obsess about vaccines being poisonous, about 911 being a conspiracy, purchasing gas masks on the Internet, and putting guns under our coffee table so that they would be within reach if someone broke into our house.

“Respondent also displayed what I can only describe as an abnormal fascination with Nicole Simpson’s death and showed my mother and I her autopsy photographs, which I found very disturbing.

“I had one small child and was pregnant and I was afraid to leave him; I was also afraid to stay with him.”

Richards also claims Sheen has abused prescription drugs, suffers from violent mood swings, has a porn addiction, classifies him as an extremely paranoid man, gambled compulsively, frequented prostitutes & that he has threatened to kill her on at least one occasion.

Sheen denies all the claims against him, don’t they always?  I mean come on!  If any one of these things are true, you have a true head-case on your hands. 

Richards eventually filed for divorce but the couple tried to reconcile at the end of last year (yeah, I too think it’s hot when my beau threatens to kill me), only to say goodbye for good in January.

The Wild Things actress recently won a temporary restraining order, which does not allow Charlie to come within 300 feet of her or their two children, with claims that the actor has made threats to her life.  Does this explain why she ran into the arms of her best bud Heather Locklear’s soon-to-be-ex-husband Richie Sambora, I don’t know.  It might, however, explain that sling on his arm.  The Sheenster can be quite an ominous enemy.

Now, we can’t leave sorry Charlie out, here he is now.

“I move forward and I maintain my integrity … and focus on my children,” Sheen told Entertainment Tonight.  “Richards’ filing is a “heinous document of fiction.”  Then what a work of fiction it is.  Maybe Denise should consider a career as a writer is she’s that creative.

“I’m deeply saddened because this is clearly demonstrating a wanting and willful attempt at what I describe as a radical and transparent smear campaign and clearly a departure from sound, sane, responsible co-parenting,” Sheen said.  I’m sorry, you cant say ’smear campaign’ without sending me into fits of giggles, especially when you’re talking about a Hollywood divorce and not a political election.  Who even says smear campaign? 

“It is a reaction to a failed marriage, a reaction to some twisted desire–real or imagined–to hurt, to punish, to discredit, to completely torpedo, to undermine my perception as a responsible father … a contributing father, a guy who would give his life for his children.” Sounds like he was prepared- ‘completely torpedo’?  Man, this guy can talk a hurricane into thinking its a puppy dog.

Charlie Sheen went on to say that Denise Richards is “the only one entirely culpable for putting these radical allegations out for public consumption … my children included.”

Whew!  What happened to making divorce easy on the kids?  I think Charlie Sheen & Denise Richards both need a visit from Oprah.

{Source}

 

Tom Cruise loves placentas & changing dirty diapers. What am I to learn from that about the Cruisemeister? The 43-year-old actor, who is in the middle of a whirlwind promotional tour of Europe for his new movie Mission: Impossible 3, helps his fiance Katie Holmes by changing baby Suri’s diapers. The two lovebirds have quite a system in place to help with their newborn.

Cruise states, “I changed her first. I change diapers all the time. I have to tell you, I love it. We have a whole system worked out. It’s the ‘B and B’–she does the breast-feeding and I do the burping and changing the diapers. It’s teamwork. It’s fun.”

Scientologist Tom Cruise is going back & forth from Europe to the US so that he can be with Katie & Suri as much as possible. Cruise worried about embarking on his European promo tour & leaving the ladies behind.

“My own ‘Mission: Impossible’ was getting here. That was the Mission Impossible. Because it kept going back and forth,” Cruise said.

“I wasn’t going to come and then Kate said, you know, ‘Go. Go.’ … So I’m here. And I’ll be here for a few hours and then I’ll get back on an airplane and go back home to Kate and Suri.”

Talk about jet lag. I don’t know how he does it. Must be a spaceship thing I don’t understand.

{Source}

In a breaking news release, Jennifer Aniston has quit smoking though not because of pal Courtney Cox’s advice.  Aniston apparently has plans to try her voice at singing, outside the shower. 

The former Friends star has been inspired by Reese Witherspoon & Nicole Kidman who surprised film goers with their vocal talents in Walk the Line & Moulin Rouge. 

“I have to quit the cigs so that I can get my voice in shape.”

No matter the reason, I’m sure we’re all happier knowing that Aniston is taking her health a little more seriously.  Why it seems like just yesterday that a Life & Style insider told us that, “Courteney (Cox) thinks Jen smokes and drinks too much.”

All I have to say is that it’s going to be interesting seeing Aniston carry a tune.

{Source}

Brad Pitt is giving away a lot these days what with cocktail parties and his hand in marriage to Jolie, but he is also the new face of humanitarianism.  Pitt is backing Global Green USA on a project to find environmentally-friendly designs for rebuilding New Orleans.  Pitt wishes to make the Louisiana city better yet “respect traditions” and will lead a panel of experts to pick the winning design.  The winner is to be selected on the first anniversary of Hurricane Katrina on August 29th.

Pitt states, “We could possibly build something that was better and took into account the historical traditions of the city and the voices of the people and turn this into some kind of good.”

“Our goal is to actually implement them and to get them built and hopefully give a kick-start to a much needed redevelopment process.”

Brad Pitt is currently in Namibia with Angelina Jolie & family.  He has not addressed the rumors regarding a wedding ceremony or that he was voted #100 on the ‘100 Unsexiest Men in the World‘ list.  He did, however, give us the following quotes. 

“Namibia’s just a country we’re very fond of.  It’s a beautiful land and hospitable people and a place that we want to be for the time being.”

{Source}
 

Well, it looks like Katie might already be giving baby Suri the high hat. Katie Holmes has begun making wedding plans. From the dress to getting her body back to its slim feminine self, Katie is getting ready for the Cruise / Holmes wedding day.

Holmes has met with the owner of Buff Brides, a company that sculpts bodies for the big day. Katie hopes to work on her shoulders and back so she can look stunning in her wedding gown. A source tells TMZ that Katie’s dress is a sleek strapless A-line cut straight across at the bust, form-fitted at the waist and falls to the floor. It should be a lovely affair, I wonder who will preside over the ceremony, the spirit of L. Ron?

In a related note, Nicole Kidman has congratulated Katie on her birth to Suri but made no mention of Tom Cruise in her statement released through her publicist, “I hope both mother and baby are doing well.” Which I think translates to, “Get out while you can, Katie. Get out while you can.”

Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes have their hands full these days. Planning a wedding, beginning the path of parenting as well as the new path for Katie of brainwashing, I mean Scientology. Speaking of which, it looks like Katie did indeed ask for an epidural despite the Church of Scientology’s belief in restraining from such drugs. Holmes did, however, seem to maintain a quite atmosphere during the delivery with everyone in the room staying silent and the nurses using hand signals.

Do you train for that in medical school? I guess it would be the In Case You Ever Have to Deal with Scientologists During a Delivery nursing lesson that reviews hand signals for “We may have to perform a Caesarean!” or “Is the head really suppose to look like that?”.

{Source}

According to Life & Style the Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt Namibian wedding rumors are true.  Brad has finally gotten his wish, Angelina will marry the poor boy.  This will be the third marriage for Jolie (third time’s the charm?) and the second for Brad Pitt, but who’s counting when it comes to this hot & heavy couple?

The wedding is not expected to be a typical one.  Well, how could it be when Jolie showed up for her first marriage to Hackers co-actor Johnny Lee Miller in black leather pants and a white shirt painted with his name in her blood on the back? 

Rumors are that Jolie & Pitt will have a traditional Namibian ceremony which is usually performed by a local tribal chief in the Bantu dialect.  With reports of the pairs’ families flying in, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Brad Pitt turned into Brad Jolie over the weekend.

{Source}