While Playgirl is busy celebrating Levi Johnston’s cover, Playboy is out partying. The Super Saturday Night Party wrapped up last weekend at Miami Beach, thanks to a collaboration of Bacardi and Playboy. Check out the bunnies and celebrities who came out to play.

Taboo, Fergie and apl.de.ap of The Black Eyed Peas all helped pick the tracks in the deejay booth.

What’s a Playboy party without bunnies? Tiffany Selby and Hiromi Oshima showed off their royal blue bunny ears.

Holly Montag partied without her sister Heidi.

See if you can spot your favorite footballers in the crowd.

Dhani Jones was one of the lucky NFL players who was invited to Sagamore Hotel.

I feel like I am losing my mind, but every time I come across a photoset with AnnaLynne McCord in it there is this pose at least once. I shouldn’t even call it a pose as much as a shot. Does she just get right up in the paparazzi’s face and times the photograph perfectly? Search through our archives and you will see the same picture each and every time except she might have on a different outfit, different hairstyle and a different amount of acne at the time.

Her magic grip over the camera astounds me. I am left grasping at the impossibility that she can do this exact same photo for the rest of the year, but in the back of my mind I know that she can pull it off. There has to be a casino willing to take some wagers on this one and I might be inclined to throw down a little coin to run with it.

In other news don’t you think she would be the perfect spokeperson for ProActiv? They always have celebrities that aren’t known for bad skin on there and to me it would only make sense to include people that actually do have bad skin and you can see it. With AnnaLynne it is a known fact that even make up can’t hide. In fact, sometimes the make up does nothing but accentuate the features of her acne. Nice going make up. You continue to ruin the lives of millions and that is why I try to keep my usage limited to only mascara.

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When I say someone looks Barbie-like this can sometimes be a very good thing, but in this case it isn’t looking too great. I mean, doesn’t she look kind of plastic here. Maybe she always looks like this and I just ignored it because she has a great body with stunning legs. Nah, what am I saying, she over-applied the makeup in this case and as a guy I even know this. You know something is wrong when a guy is giving you makeup advice.

A heterosexual guy. Nice try folks.

I almost want to see a picture of how she looks in the morning without the makeup. I can only imagine it is like looking at a totally different person. Imagine going to bed with her and waking up thinking you are in a completely different place than where you started. How freaked out would you be? Oh man, there has to be some stories online of a poor guy sleeping with Amanda and getting lost the next day because her makeup was left on the pillow.

Haha oh man I had to laugh at the thought of sleeping with Amanda and waking up and looking at her pillow with all the makeup on it and thinking that it is Amanda herself. How awkward would it be to introduce a pillow to your parents or brag to your friends that you are dating Amanda Bynes when it’s really a down pillow.

I foresee Amanda Bynes pillows being a big hit this Holiday season.

1. Taylor Lautner would chase after me.

2. Kellan Lutz and Marlon Wayans would fight over me.

3. Chace Crawford would constantly check me out.

4. Brian McKnight would sing to me.

5. Ed Westwick would want to get down and dirty with me.

Last Saturday, during the hype of pre-Super Bowl festivities, celebrities and professional athletes participated in the fourth Annual DIRECTTV Celebrity Flag Football Game on South Beach, Miami. That lucky football!

Whether or not you’re on his team, you know you’ve been itching to finally see Levi Johnston’s Playgirl photos.

If you’ve been living under a rock, here’s a recap. Last year, former Alaska Governor and Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin had a falling out with Levi, who happens to be the ex-beau of her teenage daughter Bristol, as well as the father of their baby Tripp. Levi, who has been very vocal about his rift with the Palins, has played the role of the rebel well. A few months ago he announced the he would be posing for Playgirl.

Fans and haters spent eons wondering just how nude the 19-year-old heartthrob would be on the cover. Now we know the million-dollar answer: He’s nude alright, but you can’t really see “it.”

Playgirl even played up the hype by releasing teaser photos every week from November 2009 until the coveted February 2010 issue finally hit the newsstands.

But life isn’t all peaches for Levi, now that he’s on his way to stardom. Sarah Palin is reportedly requesting that part of the proceeds from Playgirl go toward child support payments. “I have received limited and sporadic financial assistance from Levi,” Bristol said in a statement.

Levi’s manager defended Levi by saying that he has indeed paid enough child support since the baby was born last year.

Whose side are you on? Or better yet, did you get your hands on this month’s Playgirl?

I’m all for thinking outside the box when it comes to fashion and I even go as far as to support the Lady GaGa fetish at times, but this shouldn’t be the case when it comes to the classy ladies. I’m not even sure Eva Green is classy, but she certainly played the role well in Casino Royale so I am bound to believe that all celebrities are exact matches of the characters they play on screen. If this isn’t the truth then I ask that you do not let me know otherwise because my world will come crashing down.

Was there a point to these shoes? There has to be some story behind it. Either the outfit she was supposed to wear with them wasn’t cutting it or she couldn’t find the right shoes for her outfit and her assistant gave her a pair of her college daughter’s prank shoes.

Either way I would love to hear the reasoning behind the selection because although I am the smartest man in the world this does not entitle me to knowing everything under the sun. Don’t believe for a minute though that you can keep up with my knowledge. Eva tried that once and I left her Green with envy. Get it? Even my sense of humor is above and beyond reproach. You liked that I used that word didn’t you? That is what happens when you hold the entire Dictionary in your head.

Okay, first of all can you believe she is 31? She doesn’t even look close to that, but that is the beauty of being healthy. Yes, I was going to say something else, but felt it might have been racially insensitive, although it was true, so I kept it low key. Certain races just don’t age well, but I’m not going to call out any names Eskimos. Now back to Camille.

Doesn’t she have the cutest dimples ever? You don’t usually see those on women, but I can definitely get used to them. What other celebs have them because none come to mind. Jennifer Garner maybe? I think she does, but nothing like the ones that Camille is sporting.

If you were wondering where you have seen her before then you don’t have to worry anymore because she hasn’t been in anything worth watching. Why else do you think I called her the hot unknown of the day? You realize though what happens when I write about a celeb on this site though right? They end up having the #1 movie in America. Where is my royalty check people?

Hook it up.

I’ve clowned on Lindsay Lohan. I’ve clowned on Rachel McAdams. I’ve clowned on Lacey Chabert. Now I have to stop clowning on Amanda Seyfried for a while because she toppled Avatar to claim the number one spot in the box office this past weekend. The one mean girl from Mean Girls that absolutely nobody in their right mind had any interest in is now more successful than the three hotter ones.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

The actress who co-starred alongside Megan Fox in Jennifer’s Body, which was easily one of the top 10 worst films of all time has the #1 movie in America.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

Ladies, if this doesn’t upset you then you need to consider this. She got to makeout with Tatum (that would be the hunky costar in the movie) for over three months while you had to deal with your worthless man or even worse being single. This bug-eyed chick just out gamed you. Try to sleep well at night with that on your conscience.

On the real though, props to you Amanda. You seem like a nice enough chick so I don’t want to take your glory, but if you can actually pull off another #1 hit I might go hit the slots and throw $1,000 in them to see what happens.

Posing in a magazine is a fine art, but once you do it long enough you start to learn the exact pose you should do at the right time. When you are wearing a dress, you should always sit Indian style. That is your winning pose right there. It isn’t a secret that only some people know. It’s a secret that only I know and have now shared with you. Not only did I show you a hot pic of Eva Longoria, but I gave you the secret to success when posing in magazines.

You would think that this site has become an advice column or something, but it will never be something. It will always be everything. If everything includes an advice column then so be it because I am here to help each and every one of you out in the long term. You are my babies and I want to cradle you against my breast. Let us stay warm during this cold winter season.

Oh yeah, back to Eva. I tend to stray away from the celebrities that I am writing about I need to stop doing that. Maybe next entry I can focus less on me and more on them. However, it’s not like they need more attention poured on them. If anything I am doing society a favor, but nobody wants to give me the key to the city. Instead they want me to write more and I sit there thinking why? Why do I continue to torture myself constantly day after day?

Damn, there I go talking about myself again. Till next entry folks…

Nothing like seeing your favorite General Hospital actress staring at you with her top sliding down her shoulder. That is what I always imagined would happen to me on a Monday. I never really thought my dreams would come true, but they have. What a great gift before Valentine’s Day.

Do you think I should ask Amber if she wants to be my Valentine? You think she would say yes? I think she would. I mean she was in the Grudge 2. Did you see that movie? The first one was hard enough to watch so you can only imagine how the second one was going to be. After that pit stain of a movie you know she doesn’t have suitors lined up to take her out so I am volunteering. Of course with the sweet paycheck she earned from the movie she can take me out. We will go to a fondue place and eat bread with cheese.

That is how the fancy people do in this world and they always seem happy. Not saying I want to be fancy, I just want to be happy and I think I can be happy with Amber. A wild guess for sure, but it’s more of a guess than you ever showed. That is what separates me from you. I pretend that these celebrities read what I write and care while you just read about them and go on about your day.

Doesn’t make you special. Okay, maybe it does. Congratulations.

If you haven’t seen the TV show Fringe then you are really missing out. One of the main characters is a female special agent and she isn’t that bad looking. Of course she doesn’t look like this in the show and if she did I would make sure to find some aliens for her. I mean damn, Anna Torv is an Aussie chick that I could get behind. Does that make me sound like I am trying to insert sexual jokes on my own? Of course it does, but sometimes you just have to make things happen.

I mean if you ever watch the show then you can see that they just make up some random stuff without any valid reasoning behind it. She stays fully clothed throughout and of course has sexual tension with her partner, but nothing will ever come of it. Instead we have to wait for a magazine, in this case Esquire, to do a photoshoot making this woman look sexy. I’m not sure why these magazines even have articles anymore when the majority of their pictures get published online anyways.

I like her name as well. Sounds coolio unlike Coolio. Now if only she would invite me on the show so I can do one of those profound faces when I am trying to solve the crime. Follow that with some music in the background that goes dun dun DUNNNNNN and we are all set. Anna, you must make this happen, I believe in you.

Remember when she had a penchant for butterflies, rainbows, and all things pink and purple? Now it’s all about angels for Mariah Carey.

Last week she released the official music video for “Angels Cry,” a collaboration with R&B singer Ne-Yo, and “Up Out My Face” with Nicki Minaj. Check out “Angels Cry” below.

The 40-year-old has also announced that her 13th album entitled Angels Advocate will be available on March 20th. Her previous album, Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel, did well in 2009, and fans are expecting her 13th studio album to be, well, angelic.

Miami Beach was the place to be this weekend, with celebrity-studded pre-Super Bowl parties and all. Maxim magazine made sure their yearly football fete wasn’t one to forget. Check out some of the stars that got their fill of—sing with me now—“patron, tequila, me and my mamacita…”

Ahoy! Ed Westwick sported sailor stripes.

From The Hills to South Beach: Audrina Patridge, Kristin Cavallari, Lo Bosworth, and Stephanie Pratt posed for the event’s red carpet.

TV couple Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey snuggled by the beach.

Brody Jenner went straight for the bottles.

The Wayans brothers, Keenan Ivory and Shawn, posed for the papz.

Skyler and Stefan Gordy of LMFAO got the crowd going.

My biggest question is: Where was February cover girl Amanda Bynes?

…Well, not exactly. The 23-year-old actress did show off some of her assets by posing in lingerie for Maxim’s February issue, and it’s a far cry from her teenybopper days.

Remember her goofy antics in Nickelodeon’s The Amanda Show and All That? Like most child actresses, she had a difficult time transitioning to more mature roles. She was boxed up in teen queen roles with She’s The Man, Love Wrecked, and What A Girl Wants.

Now she wants people to see her in a different light. “Some people still see me as a kid, but I’m a 23-year-old woman now,” she told Maxim. “I want to show people who I am,” she added. “My parents were like, ‘Does this mean you’re gonna do sexy movies now?’ I said, ‘Well, if they’re done the right way, then maybe!’ I mean, I’m not gonna do porn, but if it’s a Leonardo DiCaprio movie or whatever…”

I wonder if Leo’s schedule is free these days.

Check out Amanda’s sexy photos here, or better yet, give yourself a V-day treat by purchasing Maxim’s February issue.

Look who’s joining the reality TV bandwagon. The now 59-year-old actress is making a TV comeback with Kirstie Alley’s Big Life. It’s a reality show about—you guessed it—her much-publicized battle with weight loss, her life as a single mother raising her teens, True and Lillie, and the perils of being in the Hollywood spotlight.

“This show has been cathartic for me… shown me who I really am… again,” Kirstie told OK! Magazine, “And it’s really freaking funny.” The comedienne is known for her roles in TV sitcoms such as Cheers (1987-1993) and Veronica’s Closet (1997-2000), as well as movies such as Look Who’s Talking (1989).

I wonder if Jenny Craig will be delivering packed meals to Kirstie’s house.

Kirstie Alley’s Big Life will premiere on March 21st at 10pm ET/PT on A&E with back-to-back episodes.

“Rihanna had half her costume missing!” became the running joke since the R&B star’s pre-Super Bowl performance last Thursday. Always the one to challenge fashion rules, the 21-year-old performed a medley of hits at the Pepsi Super Bowl Fan Jam 2010 wearing a one-shoulder, one-leg cat suit with white trimming, accessorized with fishnet stockings and black gloves.

Her outfit was designed by stylists Mariel Haenn and Rob Zangardi, who have helped Rihanna with other ensembles in the past. Other performers at the pre-Super Bowl event in Miami Beach were Justin Bieber, Young Jeezy, and Timbaland, but Rihanna soon stole the spotlight when she performed a number of songs from her recent album, Rated R, including “Rude Boy” and “Russian Roulette.”

Check out her live medley here. Just don’t get too distracted by her hot outfit.

Alessandra,

Let me apologize for last night. I figured since you were Brazilian you liked a little bit of the dirty stuff and I once saw something on the web so umm, well…I PUT IT ON YA. Look, if I knew it was going to cause you to throw out your back before your photoshoot I wouldn’t have…nah I still would’ve PUT IT ON YA!

Next time bring your A-game or I’m going back to Miranda Kerr. Latina women coming into my bedroom bringing that weak stuff, I don’t have any words left for you.

Oh, one more thing, you aren’t even that good of a kisser and thanks for washing my back.

Love Always,

MrAlmostWrong

Abbie is an Australian actress, which means she has no significance on the movies that you watch. Am I saying that the people of Australia have no power when it comes to Hollywood? Indeed I am. If you want to look for people with power then you don’t have to go much further because they are in New Zealand. This makes perfect sense because New Zealand is a powerful name while Australia sounds like a place for sea lions to mate.

Have you ever seen a sea lion mate? I have and it isn’t a very pretty thing. In fact, it makes you feel kind of awkward and never to want to touch another human being for at least seven years. You got that right, watching a sea lion mate almost has the same effect as breaking a mirror. This makes me kind of curious as to what would happen if you broke a mirror while watching sea lions mate. It is quite possible you would become King or Queen of Papa New Guinea.

This of course has causes quite an unstable political situation in Papa New Guinea since they change royalty every week. It is the complete opposite of England where the same Queen has served as the royal figurehead for the past 300 years. Queen Elizabeth II is actually 700 years old, but her reign only started 300 years ago with the invention of the peanut butter & jelly sandwich.

I don’t think that is a coincidence.

She was in Blossom and her name was Six. That seems to be the extent of the classy side of her career. After that there were a couple more TV shows and she fell off the map. Then returned doing bikini spreads because apparently she has some junk in the trunk that doesn’t stink like a skunk that is overly drunk.

That is the limit of my knowledge of her.

This photo is recent. She doesn’t look like someone who doesn’t smoke crack. What I am trying to say is that she looks like someone that is trying to smoke crack. Or more likely cigarettes. Does she honestly look like she is only 32 years old?

I’m scared to look up how the rest of the Blossom casts look. Maybe the show was cursed because of its epic greatness. That was sarcasm, I don’t remember jack about the show. I’m not even sure there was a plot behind it. Just giving a kid a weird name and making that the title of the show isn’t enough. TV execs should’ve learned that after Webster.

Either way I almost feel bad for people who fall apart once they reach 30. I’m 97 and I look 29 because I take care of myself through bathing in my own urine.

Don’t judge me.